FMLs submitted from British Columbia

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my family. I asked her if she wanted something to drink, and my brother reacted by snorting and calling me a "cuck". Apparently offering your girlfriend a drink means you're being cuckolded now. God, I hope he was adopted. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2016 at 4:23am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I accidentally forwarded a link to a weird fart porn video to my chat group. They've been silent for 30 minutes now. FML

by Anonymous / 02/06/2016 at 12:55am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandma got drunk, tried to change the TV channel with my Xbox controller, and slurred at me to fuck off when I told her it wasn't the remote. She pulls this kind of crap way too often. FML

by sick of this shit / 02/06/2016 at 12:04am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a phone call from my boss, from the other side of the country. It seems the conference I sent him to is actually happening next week. FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2016 at 9:44pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, I went to get minor surgery done. I have anxiety and a phobia of needles, so they gave me laughing gas. It gave me a panic attack. FML

by demideity / 12/08/2015 at 1:30am / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I realized how much of an invisible artist I am when I got a little excited when someone stole my art. FML

by I_Am_The_Cold / 12/02/2015 at 4:00am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while walking to work with my best friend, he broke down in tears. I asked what was wrong, and he told me his mom passed away last night. All I could think to do was give him a hug and say I was sorry. Then some assclown walking past said "GAAAYYY!" and walked away laughing hysterically. FML

by Anonymous / 11/07/2015 at 8:02am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend called. He said he would sing me a song, like I'd wanted for a long time. I was excited, but surprised at his song choice. He sang 'Locked Away' by R. City ft. Adam Levine. Turns out, he was calling me from jail. He thought this was romantic, and expected me to bail him out. FML

by ishred1111 / 11/06/2015 at 2:39am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at work, stocking shelves. A customer got mad because I was in the way of her "shopping time" and knocked down all the work I had done. FML

by tired of my job / 10/29/2015 at 4:33am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, my wedding celebration came to an awkward pause when my dad slapped my mom across the face and called her a whore after she admitted to having an affair. FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2015 at 2:39am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, desperate to meet a guy, I went clubbing. The only guy to show any interest opened with: "You're hot, for a black chick!" FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2015 at 12:43am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML

by not impressed / 10/09/2015 at 2:27pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I was confiding in my grandma about how lonely I am and how everything in my life seems to be falling apart. While I was in mid-sentence, she rolled her eyes and made a show of removing her hearing aid. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2015 at 1:45am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous