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FMLs submitted from British Columbia

Today, my father was playing with my son and his toy animals. He picked one up and said, "What is this? Some kind of African horse?" It was a zebra. FML

Today, I'm celebrating New Years with my cat. I made her a cake. FML

#21328260
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28383) - you deserved it (6273)

On 01/01/2015 at 12:25am - misc - by HappyNewYearsToMeAndMyCat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend sent me a screenshot of his phone's contact list, to show me the adorable photo of us he'd set as my contact image. I guess he didn't realize that a contact called "Side Babe" was just barely in the screenshot too. FML

#21325257
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35469) - you deserved it (2475)

On 12/27/2014 at 11:54am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to my retail job to buy some clothing. As soon as I walked through the doors, my manager yelled at me for not being in appropriate work clothes. I tried to explain that I was off the clock but he was having none of it. I got written up. FML

#21322497
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32255) - you deserved it (2619)

On 12/23/2014 at 3:14am - work - by I hate my job - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was fired for "smelling like garbage". I'm the guy who throws the garbage into the truck. FML

Today, I finished watching an entire movie after boarding the plane, before the plane even took off. FML

#21307360
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35332) - you deserved it (2907)

On 11/28/2014 at 3:00am - misc - by stampslife - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up, only to find my Xbox missing. Thankfully I have a security camera discreetly wired up in the tree on my lawn. Checking the tapes, I saw my brother park outside my house, let himself in with his spare key, then drive off with my missing equipment. FML

#21303975
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31551) - you deserved it (2715)

On 11/22/2014 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was on a date, and I went to put my arm around her, trying to be romantic, but my coordination went straight to hell. Instead of her shoulder, I ended up accidentally grabbing her tit. FML

#21302056
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29635) - you deserved it (7155)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:03pm - love - by oops (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, on our second date, the unemployed guy I'm seeing tried to convince me to open a joint bank account in our name. FML

#21299619
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32843) - you deserved it (4504)

On 11/15/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by back to cock-hunting (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was supposed to go in for a polygraph test as part of the hiring process to be a cop, but I was so nervous that I couldn't sleep. Finally two hours before the exam, I fell into a deep sleep, so deep that I slept through all my alarms. Worst part: I couldn't lie about sleeping in. FML

#21296003
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33209) - you deserved it (4684)

On 11/10/2014 at 4:10am - work - by Pixel (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML

#21291810
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44305) - you deserved it (6600)

On 11/04/2014 at 7:03am - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to show up at an anti-drugs lecture with full-blown pink eye. It's from an ongoing bacterial infection, but the speaker said he'd heard that excuse a hundred times before, and shamed me in front of everyone. FML

#21289648
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32014) - you deserved it (2472)

On 11/01/2014 at 11:28am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest thing you've stuck up your vag?" FML

#21281604
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38370) - you deserved it (2781)

On 10/20/2014 at 5:28am - intimacy - by bye loser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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