FMLs submitted from Bristol, City of

Today, my perfectly healthy grandmother came to stay for Christmas. First, she persuaded my family to give her my bedroom. That would have been fine, until she demanded she should also have a bucket to piss in under my bed too. FML

by chamberpottime / 12/16/2015 at 3:58am / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Health

Today, while eating at my college cafeteria, I started thinking about all the awful crap going on in my life right now, and I started sobbing. Some guy at another table started snickering at me, at which point the guy I like said, "Give her a break. If I was as fuck-ugly as her, I'd be crying too." FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2015 at 9:21am / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw my ex for the first time since we broke up. We were on a train next to each other for 6 hours, to a festival where our tents were pitched next to each other. We're here for 5 days. FML

by NoFunForMe / 08/31/2015 at 12:27pm / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Transportation

Today, a woman who works in the clinic across the road told me that my glass isn't frosted enough and she and all her patients can see me when I shower. FML

by theflasher / 08/13/2015 at 5:10pm / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to start jogging to keep fit. I was passed about ten times by the same car, carrying four bozos whose vocabulary consisted only of, "TITTIES!" and copious amounts of giggling. FML

by dole_dosser / 07/27/2015 at 1:35am / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend told me he's prepared to commit to marriage, but only if I buy my own ring and tell everyone he surprised me with it. FML

by undanya__four / 04/10/2015 at 4:19pm / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Love

Today, after locking myself out of my house, I let myself into my car to wait on someone with a spare key. It took me 15 minutes to realise the house and car key share the same ring. FML

by losing the plot / 04/08/2015 at 3:36pm / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, and for the past few days, there is a musical box stuck somewhere in my attic that randomly plays Christmas songs. FML

by supertacowaffle / 11/28/2014 at 3:47pm / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a customer told me that there was no way he was paying for his shopping. He then walked off. As it turns out, the customer IS always right. FML

by Anonymous / 09/16/2014 at 1:04am / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Work

Today, I spent six hours at the ER. Why? My husband dared our seventeen-year-old son to recreate a 'Jackass' trolley-hedge diving stunt at the local supermarket. What wasn't on my groceries list was a broken arm, fractured wrist, whiplash and cuts and bruises. FML

by Anonymous / 07/30/2014 at 4:21am / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Kids

Today, the guy I live with demanded that I get a job or start paying rent. It'd be perfectly reasonable, if he wasn't my husband, and if I hadn't just given birth to our first child. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2014 at 7:49pm / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Kids

Today, I was ringing an elderly gentleman up at work. As I went to package up the buns he ordered, he held up a hand and told me to wait. He then looked me in the eyes, started squeezing them, then winked and told me to go ahead. I've never felt so violated. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2014 at 4:42pm / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Love

Today, I woke up on Christmas morning to find that a large cock and balls had been keyed into the windscreen of my car. My new, two-week-old car, which I will be paying off for the next four years. FML

by Sophies / 12/25/2013 at 7:45pm / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Money