FMLs submitted from Baden-Wurttemberg

Today, I hit the gym. With my car. FML

by SnapeIsGood / 11/08/2016 at 4:44am / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Health

Today, I found out the German I've been learning for nearly a month is a dialect only spoken by people in a small area of the country. This means I'll need to re-learn most of what I thought I knew. FML

by Xerfox / 07/03/2016 at 2:05pm / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Miscellaneous

Today, I flew to Germany to meet up with a girl that I met in America 5 months ago and fell in love with. We've been talking every day for 5 months straight. I get here just for her to tell me that she likes me "like a brother". FML.

by Xerfox / 06/20/2016 at 4:34pm / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Love

Today, I'm the only grandchild who regularly visits, calls and runs errands for my grandparents, even though I live two hours away. I'm also their biggest disappointment because I'm not married. FML

by Anonymous / 04/01/2016 at 8:30pm / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Miscellaneous

Today, it appears that moth larvae can make a water boiler their home, especially during my absence for four weeks. I learned it the hard way by pouring their boiled carcasses over my noodles. FML

by notgonnaeatthat / 03/17/2016 at 4:40pm / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Animals

Today, after taking my crush to the train station late at night, I sat in a local park alone with my thoughts for a while. Two cops appeared out of nowhere and started searching me for drugs and weapons, asking me questions for a good 30 minutes. Not the kind of action I expected tonight. FML

by Anonymous / 05/19/2015 at 4:49pm / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Love

Today, after several sleepless nights full of crying, I went to my university's free help center. After telling the psychologist my problems and asking what to do, he looked at me blankly and said, "Uh, it's not depression, I guess. You should go out more and, like, party some more." FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2015 at 5:02pm / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Health

Today, my car is still in the shop, so I asked my psycho brother to drive me to the mall. He sped up to nearly 20km over the speed limit, so I shouted for him to stop before he got us both killed. He hit the brakes in the middle of an intersection, and wouldn't move again until I got out. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 7:03pm / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Transportation

Today, I woke up soaked in water. It seems at some point in the middle of the night, I woke up thirsty and opened the water bottle I keep on my nightstand. I managed to drink a little, but it seems I didn't manage to put the cap back on before losing consciousness again. FML

by Olorin / 11/07/2011 at 3:49pm / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my entire class, me included, has to rewrite the painfully difficult midterm we wrote last week. All this because the Professor left the exams strewn across her desk. The cleaners thought it was trash and disposed of them. FML

by HM / 04/06/2011 at 1:28pm / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Miscellaneous

Today, I failed to get my drivers licence. My father was the instructor. FML

by Anonymous / 11/03/2010 at 1:57pm / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend told me that if he was to break up with me, he would do it in a crowded location so I couldn't start to cry or make a scene. FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2010 at 8:11am / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Love

Today, some friends and I went to Cosmic Bowling where they have a blacklight. Everyone's teeth were glowing. Mine weren't. FML

by Anonymous / 11/08/2009 at 6:12am / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Miscellaneous