FMLs submitted from Attiki

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

by failed dad / 06/25/2014 at 8:30am / Greece (Attiki) / Kids

Today, I witnessed my husband hocking a loogie into his hand, then throwing it into the trash can and continuing to make our sandwiches. FML

by no no no no no no no no no no no fuck no / 09/01/2013 at 4:04pm / Greece (Attiki) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend discovered subliminal messaging. She thought that whispering "you want to shave your beard" under her breath while I'm not looking at her, then denying ever saying it, would eventually make me shave my alleged upper-lip hair FML

by -__- / 08/11/2013 at 12:26pm / Greece (Attiki) / Miscellaneous

Today, after playing numerous games of poker against my friend, and him telling me that I'm the best poker player he's ever met, I went out and played for real money. I got totally destroyed, lost all of my money, and was laughed out of the building. FML

by goodbye sweet internet / 07/06/2013 at 2:23pm / Greece (Attiki) / Money

Today, I gave up smoking. A few hours later, I caught myself daydreaming about brutally killing a guy that gave me a mean look at the bus. Maybe I should go back to smoking. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2012 at 9:54am / Greece (Attiki) / Health

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML

by Anonymous / 06/01/2012 at 4:46pm / Greece (Attiki) / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my tampons weren't ear plugs. FML

by Evaki1 / 06/13/2011 at 10:24am / Greece (Attiki) / Kids

Today, my family and I attended a pool party. I never learned to swim, so I didn't bring a suit. When someone asked why I wasn't in the pool, my sister replied in a loud voice, "She's on her period and didn't want the pool to get dirty!" Thanks. FML

by Anonymous / 09/08/2010 at 2:09pm / Greece (Attiki) / Health

Today, I was getting my portrait done. The artist told me to smile. He looked at me, then said, "Oh, don't smile." FML

by :) / 04/22/2010 at 1:37pm / Greece (Attiki) / Health

 Today, I got a text from my crush. In my clumsy attempt to quickly grab the phone, I knocked it off the kitchen counter and cracked the screen. After driving to my friends house so I could put my sim card in her phone, I saw that the text said "who's this? stop texting me." FML

by Desperate_measures / 01/16/2010 at 7:22am / Greece (Attiki) / Love

Today, I spent hours consoling my girlfriend for getting dumped by the guy she was cheating on me with. FML

by nitwit / 09/08/2009 at 8:29am / Greece (Attiki) / Love

Today, I said to our pool-boy, "I know what you're doing, and you have to stop it." He started shouting that I had no right to tell them what to do and that they were in love. He was referring to his relationship with my eldest son. I wanted to tell him to stop drinking my beers. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2009 at 7:13am / Greece (Attiki) / Kids

Today, I hired an exterminator to get the roaches out of the house I am renting. I came back from work and went to my bathroom, noticing that he used the plunger to unclog the toilet after he took a dump. After $150, there was shit all over my floor and plunger, and roaches still in my kitchen. FML

by Anonymous / 05/26/2009 at 5:18am / Greece (Attiki) / Health