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FMLs submitted from Arkansas

Today, I learned that the girl I've been seeing for 6 months is actually married. She just dates me when her husband is pissing her off. FML

#20857254
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46705) - you deserved it (3489)

On 08/27/2013 at 11:11pm - love - by the other man - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my daughter, who was born in late 2000, mentioned how amazing it is that she'll be alive during the year 3000. I asked her exactly how old she thinks she'll be by then. She said, "Thirty, duh." I've screwed up as a parent, so very badly. FML

#20823686
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58890) - you deserved it (14702)

On 08/06/2013 at 11:19am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my husband bought me a big box of tampons. He claims to know when my period is about to start before I do. Sadly, he's right. FML

#20812881
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47480) - you deserved it (8003)

On 07/31/2013 at 2:31am - love - by RayneWolf13 (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my grandpa pointed me out to one of his friends, saying, "Yeah, she's the ugly one." FML

#20717602
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46508) - you deserved it (4002)

On 06/10/2013 at 2:14pm - misc - by sadgirl - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I woke up to my brother chopping all my bangs off. When I yelled at him, he could only shout back, "You can see clearly now, the bangs are gone!" FML

#20599244
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51315) - you deserved it (8353)

On 04/17/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by my dumb bro - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were on my bed when things started getting hot and it began to shake. My little sister called the entire family to the hall to listen to "the frogs in the wall". FML

#20537793
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19488) - you deserved it (37172)

On 03/10/2013 at 3:41am - intimacy - by lolk - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my boss gave me the task of firing a recently-hired coworker next Friday. This guy spends most of his off-hours working out, probably abusing the fuck out of steroids, and to whom prison is like a bed-and-breakfast. I fear for my life by this point. FML

#20526945
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27620) - you deserved it (2383)

On 03/01/2013 at 1:22pm - work - by cthulhu help me (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was trying to be sexy and change in front of my boyfriend. As I was changing, he started to talk to me about how we should both try and lose weight. FML

#20523139
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33470) - you deserved it (7313)

On 02/26/2013 at 3:26pm - love - by pooh anne (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my mom called me a "heartless bitch" for eating the last Hot Pocket. This is coming from a woman who, just last week, faked having cancer to get out of a speeding ticket. FML

#20511194
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35345) - you deserved it (2192)

On 02/17/2013 at 7:24pm - misc - by DontGetSlapped - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I decided to change my hair color. After waiting in anticipation, I took a shower to rinse out the dye and reveal my new, blue hair. Rinsing revealed not only blue hair, but blue skin caused by the watered dye running over my body. I now look like a smurf, and it's not coming out. FML

#20480724
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17721) - you deserved it (38280)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:10am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I had a sex dream, which I interrupted by having an OCD-induced panic attack because apparently we weren't using protection. My brain won't even let me enjoy the fantasy action I get in my sleep. FML

#20171880
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30332) - you deserved it (3299)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Dead_Fox (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML

#20157197
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29256) - you deserved it (2601)

On 11/10/2012 at 5:15am - love - by Helen - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was walking with my boyfriend when a guy walked up to me and told me I look exactly like Taylor Swift. My boyfriend punched him in the face and told him that Taylor Swift is a lot more attractive. I'm actually considering leaving him for the complete stranger. FML

#20130143
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32177) - you deserved it (2797)

On 10/23/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by jeanrose2013 - United States (Arkansas)



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