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FMLs submitted from Arizona

Today, I'm so broke that I got buyer's remorse after buying a $2 bottle of pancake syrup. FML

#20042959
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19374) - you deserved it (2268)

On 08/26/2012 at 5:05pm - money - by Tanuki_paws - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was at a job interview. The interviewer spoke to me for a few minutes, then said she would be right back, and left. I was left alone in a room for an hour and a half believing that it was a patience test. They closed the store for the day, leaving me in the interview room. FML

#20040149
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29207) - you deserved it (2169)

On 08/24/2012 at 11:31pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was so desperate for any kind of male romantic attention that I googled "prison pen pals", and I'm considering writing to one. FML

#20033437
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10518) - you deserved it (21806)

On 08/21/2012 at 4:39am - love - by desperategurl (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my daughter discovered that her Venus Fly Trap will not eat pieces of ripped-up scrap paper. Also today, I discovered that my daughter can't tell the difference between scrap paper and my monthly paycheck. FML

#19998217
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27062) - you deserved it (2518)

On 08/02/2012 at 10:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to the store to buy some new shirts. I tried them on and none of them fit. When I walked out to return the shirts, everybody was staring at me. I looked down to see why. I'd forgotten to put my original shirt back on. FML

#19991846
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8792) - you deserved it (21665)

On 07/30/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by hoaloha - United States (Arizona)

Today, I'm still freshly circumcised. My penis is still very sensitive, and I can't squat to grab stuff off the floor because of the pressure against my jeans. Kicking the objects up into my hands was working well, that is until I spilled a pack of 300 toothpicks all over the floor. FML

#19933924
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27498) - you deserved it (6913)

On 07/13/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, and for the last week, I've resorted to driving myself to the nearest corner store to take my daily dump. I'm doing this because I recently moved in with my boyfriend, and I'm afraid he'll be disgusted at how often I clog the toilet. FML

#19822934
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12021) - you deserved it (26500)

On 06/21/2012 at 6:02am - health - by TheDumper (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I bought some beef jerky. As I put the first piece in my mouth, I thought to myself, "Wow, this is tough enough to break a tooth." It was. FML

#19816534
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24341) - you deserved it (3269)

On 06/20/2012 at 1:22am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. She hadn't even called me; I saw the news on my Facebook news feed. FML

#19799062
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31497) - you deserved it (2174)

On 06/16/2012 at 10:08pm - misc - by mystery - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was at a bus stop making small talk with a really nice girl, when all of a sudden some kids let off firecrackers behind me. I shrieked like a little girl and practically jumped into her lap. FML

#19625329
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19986) - you deserved it (4495)

On 05/15/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I corrected someone who spelled "learned" as "learnt" on my favorite forum. Nothing could've prepared me for the torrent of abuse that followed from the non-American members. Now I'm banned for "trolling," and all my 7,000+ posts since 2006 are gone forever. FML

#19593515
450 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14531) - you deserved it (36435)

On 05/08/2012 at 6:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML

#19520416
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44661) - you deserved it (3233)

On 04/24/2012 at 1:42am - animals - by jessica071509 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was waiting in line for what seemed like forever at the only open lane at the grocery store. The guy in front of me took his sweet time and had multiple cards rejected, before finally pulling out a $100 bill and demanding exact change. He was buying a carton of milk. FML

#19467160
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22830) - you deserved it (1966)

On 04/14/2012 at 3:27pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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