Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Arizona

Today, I sleep during the day because I work nights. My neighbors have a very loud wedding and reception in their backyard including a live mariachi band. FML

#21414664
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27457) - you deserved it (3276)

On 05/23/2015 at 10:38pm - misc - by Vlen (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, it was the first time a guy has shown any interest in me by calling me pretty. I was so shocked that instead of saying thank you, I hid behind the nearest object and promptly giggle-snorted. FML

Today, I desperately needed to let off some steam at work, so I went outside and screamed obscenities at the top of my lungs, before heading back inside. The police then showed up to investigate complaints of a "raving lunatic" in the area. FML

#21403035
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20242) - you deserved it (23306)

On 05/01/2015 at 6:17pm - work - by RavingLunatic (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I realized that my new haircut makes me look like a movie star. Not Scarlett Johansson, no. I look like Lord Farquaad. FML

Today, I asked my class to name some West African countries. Several of them thought Ebola was a country. I teach an AP history class. FML

#21400396
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35645) - you deserved it (3961)

On 04/27/2015 at 12:58am - work - by advanced history teacher (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I learned that before you tell a blonde joke, you should make sure that your high school's 6'8", 275-pound, blond quarterback isn't standing behind you. FML

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Within minutes, they said I needed to leave. Their reason? Apparently, I was mocking her dad's speech impediment. I also have one but they wouldn't believe me. FML

#21382684
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34517) - you deserved it (2106)

On 03/27/2015 at 10:12pm - love - by biblepain - United States (Arizona)

Today, I accidentally ate a cat treat instead of a cinnamon glazed pecan. I thought it must have been burnt by the way it tasted, so ate a few more before I figured out my mistake and spat them out. FML

#21376174
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24404) - you deserved it (13520)

On 03/17/2015 at 3:14am - animals - by ilovecharliesheen (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating on me. He claimed it wasn't cheating because he's not romantically attracted to her. FML

#21375288
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36070) - you deserved it (3162)

On 03/15/2015 at 9:10pm - intimacy - by why - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend took off my pants for the first time. She was more impressed by the pattern on my boxers than by my cock. FML

#21370915
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36020) - you deserved it (6987)

On 03/09/2015 at 1:13am - intimacy - by fruitoftheloom - United States (Arizona)

Today, I noticed that my son was less excited about losing a tooth than normal. I asked him what was wrong, he said, "Tyler told me that the tooth fairy died yesterday in a car accident." To which Tyler replied, "You're welcome." FML

#21367147
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31428) - you deserved it (2773)

On 03/03/2015 at 8:14am - kids - by Mommycakes (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my mom asked my siblings and me for help cleaning the kitchen. After working for a half hour while all my siblings sat on the couch, I pointed out that I was the only one working. My mom thanked my siblings for not having attitudes like mine and sent me to my room. FML

#21352465
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36585) - you deserved it (3035)

On 02/08/2015 at 11:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, we had a drug search at school. After the search, we went back inside. My bag was open, and my lunch was gone. FML

#21341948
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32356) - you deserved it (2335)

On 01/21/2015 at 10:46pm - misc - by blububble412 - United States (Arizona)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: