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FMLs submitted from Arizona

Today, I was feeling up my girlfriends chest. I was getting into it until she said "What are you doing?" I said I was rubbing her nipple. She replies, "Thats not my nipple, its a pimple." I felt up a pimple. FML

#1449885
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60430) - you deserved it (39601)

On 04/29/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was emailing my professor about what chapters our test is on this afternoon. She accidentally emailed me informing me of the date she went on last night, including that she "got laid... yay!!" and a picture. I still don't know what chapters I'm being tested on. FML

#1152672
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98252) - you deserved it (5786)

On 04/20/2009 at 1:12pm - intimacy - by TMI (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my grandmother gave me a huge speech on being abstinent until marriage. Being the honest person that I am, I told her I wasn't a virgin anymore. Instead of being mad and telling me I was going to hell. She asked me what my favourite things to do sexually were. And told me hers in detail. FML

#918397
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68818) - you deserved it (17907)

On 04/11/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my mom asked me to look through old VHS tapes to throw away, I found one that said "Ashley's kindergarten Play-'95", I put the tape in, it begins to play, only to see "Days of our lives", "Melrose Place", and "ER". My childhood memories are ranked lower than tv shows. FML

#863008
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52320) - you deserved it (2956)

On 04/07/2009 at 10:53pm - love - by 4gottenmemories (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my parents came home after being out of town for the weekend. I stayed home, did homework and completely cleaned the house, thinking I could earn some brownie points with them. They saw how clean the house was and accused me of covering up a party. FML

#819596
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77880) - you deserved it (5548)

On 04/05/2009 at 4:15pm - misc - by brizzle (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, My family and I were in New Orleans. We passed by all of the naughty peep shows with posters of naked women everywhere on the way to dinner. At the restaurant, my dad asks me if that was the first pair of boobs I have seen. My mom butted in saying, "Nah, remember all that porn we found?" FML

#786946
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67348) - you deserved it (23878)

On 04/03/2009 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to the laundromat for the first time. I fit all of my clothes into two washers. Not knowing where to put the soap in, I asked a man doing his laundry, "Excuse me, where do I put the soap in?". He replied, "Ma'am, those are the dryers." FML

#742208
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9772) - you deserved it (71196)

On 04/01/2009 at 5:18am - misc - by esv (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was mowing the lawn of my brand new house, located in a very nice neighborhood (I am a hispanic male), and a lady in her nice white cadillac drove up and asked me, in extremely broken spanish, if I could mow her lawn too. FML

#664071
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (123829) - you deserved it (9417)

On 03/28/2009 at 4:17pm - misc - by Michaelichael (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was at my friends house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girl if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dial my number and look down to find she has my number is saved in her phone as ASS FACE #3. FML

#574941
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58817) - you deserved it (9044)

On 03/24/2009 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was having lunch with my sister and my mother. While my mom was busy ordering food, my sister said to me, "look at this face I can make!" and she grossly contorted her face so that she had a double chin. My mother looked over and said to her, "stop making fun of your sister!" FML

#554363
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59982) - you deserved it (3613)

On 03/23/2009 at 3:22pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I finally got the courage to tell my best friend that I've had a crush on him since our junior year. Since I couldn't see him I shot him a text. His response: "Yeah I know. I've tried kind of ignoring it." FML

#299103
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68266) - you deserved it (6483)

On 03/13/2009 at 3:27am - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was standing on a balcony smoking a cigarette when I noticed a woman giving me strange looks. When I put the cigarette out and went to walk inside she said "You shouldn't smoke while you're pregnant." I'm not pregnant. FML

#278323
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59766) - you deserved it (13190)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by justfat - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was in my backyard scolding my cat. I yelled, "If you can't learn to use the bathroom correctly then I am going to leave your stupid butt out here in the snow until you figure it out!!" Later, my neighbor left me a nasty note about child abuse - she thought I was scolding my son. FML

#255521
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42873) - you deserved it (9850)

On 03/09/2009 at 9:16pm - kids - by flaggurl (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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