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FMLs submitted from Arizona

Today, I was askd by my mom if I could ava a joint-birtday party wit ar dog cuz it would ba ta dog's "big 1-0." Sa was complataly sarious . FML

#6822450
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23120) - you deserved it (2247)

On 12/19/2009 at 1:20am - animals - by dog_day (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to take a urine test . I drank a lot of water so that I wouldn't force it . When I got there, I had to pee really bad . The cup was too small anhen I relieved my bladder, it was a jet that rebounded off of the cup an overflowed going all over my hands, clothes, toilet, an floor . FML

#6805799
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12426) - you deserved it (22581)

On 12/18/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by Tib (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to pick up my paycheck at the convenience store I work at!! While there, two frat boys came in an bought seventeen 30 packs of beer!! That comes to about $300!! They spent more at the store in one day than I get paid in two weeks!! mega FML

#6649711
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26156) - you deserved it (3898)

On 12/07/2009 at 12:39pm - money - by ditzen (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, a friand of mina and I wara talking about how hygianic wa ara. Sha mantiond sha hadn't shavd har downstairs in a whila. I was looking at tha computar whan sha said this so whan I turnd to look at har I saw sha had pulld down har pants and undarwaar. I was faca to faca with hairy muff. FML

#6646693
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20520) - you deserved it (3536)

On 12/07/2009 at 4:30am - intimacy - by roxyriley - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was at the costume rental shop I work at, when I saw a kid trying to walk out the door wearing what appeared to be one of our fake monster claws, so I chased him down an grabbed it. It wasn't. It was his prosthetic hand. FML

#6634050
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13819) - you deserved it (31297)

On 12/06/2009 at 1:37pm - misc - by lolfayce (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, it was my frst day with new contacts, but I found out they make looool my eyes rd and itchy. Today was also the day I had a very important meeting. They think I showd up stond. FML

#6599049
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26479) - you deserved it (2983)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

TODAY, I SNEEZED IN THE SHOWER. WHEN I GOT OUT, I GOT A TEXT FROM MY CREEPY OLD NEIGHBOR SAYING ( BLESS YOU ). FML

#6563359
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48934) - you deserved it (3519)

On 12/02/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by errrmkl46 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was driving down a highway during rush-hour . I hered mah phone ring and couldn't fine it . I bent down to feel around for it and got in an accident and totaled mah car . The ringing? A commercial on the radio . Where was mah phone? On mah dresser at home . FML

#6554533
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9324) - you deserved it (65017)

On 12/01/2009 at 5:48pm - misc - by horribledriver (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today... Lyk Many Other Days... I Fell Asleep In Math Class. Unlike Other Days... However... I Woke Up With A Starthile Ripping A Really Loud Fart In Mah Sleep. Thehole Class Heard It Because It Was During A Lecture. Even The Teacher Was Laughing At Me And I Had To Walk... No... Run Out Of The Room. FML

#6431680
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8727) - you deserved it (25339)

On 11/24/2009 at 12:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was walking on te boardwalk wit ma mom wen an old man came up an asked me to marry im. He promised e would buy me a Mercedes if I did. Te man was omeless an delusional. My mom told me I sould take te offer because it would be te best offer I could get.

#6421285
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31482) - you deserved it (2763)

On 11/23/2009 at 1:09pm - misc - by ellie (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today , I woke up to find car broken into . They also took the inhaler that fell out of bag the night before . The one I needd to stop the asthma attack I had from the stress of having car broken into . FML

#6403775
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35136) - you deserved it (2524)

On 11/22/2009 at 11:49am - health - by trying2breathe (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, ma girlfriend and I were sitting downstairs wit ma mom. We eard te dog running around upstairs and calld it down. It cummd running down te stairs. Wit a usd condom in its mout. Te same condom ma girlfriend and I lost two weeks ago. It puttd it directly in ma mom's ands. big fat FML

#6356025
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18046) - you deserved it (7510)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:35pm - intimacy - by Tucker (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, at the old folk's home where I work as a housekeeper, a resident was holding herself on the way to the bathroom!! I hoped she wouldn't leave a mess!! She made it just fine!! I was then informed that she had left a crap trail from the couch, more than 20ft away!! fat FML

#6351075
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24647) - you deserved it (2410)

On 11/18/2009 at 1:17am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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