Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Arizona

Today, I learned the hard way that if you tell your child that they're old enough to cook their own food in the microwave, you have to make sure they're smart enough not to put the metal spoon in with the food as well. FML

#14150081
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7313) - you deserved it (29955)

On 12/10/2010 at 1:53am - kids - by Mak10 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I brought a cupcake to school for my friend's birthday. After taking one bite, she exclaimed that it was the worst thing she had ever tasted and that we should sue the store that I bought it from. I baked it myself. FML

#14113537
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18493) - you deserved it (3653)

On 12/06/2010 at 10:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my dad was completely engrossed in a football game on TV, so, trying to be cute and funny, my mom flashed him. He didn't notice, but I did. FML

#13975253
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28790) - you deserved it (2612)

On 11/25/2010 at 1:33pm - misc - by blenderbookf (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while my mom was out, I took the car out to CVS to get some food, even though I'm not legally allowed to drive. As soon as I got back in the car, my mom pulled up 2 parking spaces away from me. She didn't notice me bend down to hide... until I accidentally hit the horn in the process. FML

#13949497
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5297) - you deserved it (39895)

On 11/23/2010 at 1:23pm - misc - by horn-y (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend came over with a broken engraved bracelet that I paid 50 dollars for. I was so angry but when I stated "I am going to call them and get a new one!" my boyfriend said back to me "No it's okay, I didn't really like it anyways." It was for our 2 year anniversary. FML

#13837334
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16320) - you deserved it (13178)

On 11/14/2010 at 3:46am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found my son's iPod touch and was looking at a light-saber app. He walked into the living room to see me fighting the cat and making sound effects to myself. FML

#13760701
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6241) - you deserved it (26547)

On 11/08/2010 at 1:07am - animals - by yay! - United States (Arizona)

Today, after staying in bed all day for a week from sickness, I get up to tell my mom I have terrible back pain and feel extremely dizzy. After curling up on the chair next to her, not being able to keep my head up for too long, she simply stares at me and says, "Can I finish my dinner now?" FML

#13720258
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19828) - you deserved it (4618)

On 11/04/2010 at 10:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I discovered my neighbors have bought a karaoke machine. FML

#13503645
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26306) - you deserved it (3440)

On 10/18/2010 at 9:09pm - misc - by the_music_major (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while talking about my plans for college, I was interrupted so my family could discuss my brother's zit. FML

#13492524
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19683) - you deserved it (2548)

On 10/17/2010 at 10:54pm - misc - by kitty (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I bought a personalized cookie cake with "Will you go out with me?" for the girl I've liked for five months. When I showed her, she said no, but took the cake with her anyway. FML

#13406898
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27078) - you deserved it (5480)

On 10/11/2010 at 2:18pm - love - by soccerlove09 - United States (Arizona)

Today, after my marching band's performance, the girls had to change out of our uniforms in a very dark school bathroom. Someone turned on the lights and I realized that more than a dozen roaches had crawled into my skinny jeans. FML

#13389421
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28260) - you deserved it (2726)

On 10/10/2010 at 4:45am - misc - by toazt - United States (Arizona)

Today, I visited my vacation cabin. I've been planning to sell it, and it was in perfect condition when I last visited about 6 months ago. I walked in the door to find the floor covered in muddy pawprints and bloody remainders of meals. It appears some bears moved in during my absence. FML

#13313277
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24146) - you deserved it (3021)

On 10/04/2010 at 2:46am - misc - by screwthewilderness (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML

#13269256
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24669) - you deserved it (3788)

On 09/30/2010 at 9:55pm - love - by dontask (woman) - United States (Arizona)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: