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FMLs submitted from Alberta

Today, I asked my dad to pick me up from school, he said he couldn't. Why? he was busy playing world of warcraft for the night. I got to walk the 3 hours home while my 49 year old dad played computer games. FML

#5263427
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43045) - you deserved it (4220)

On 09/14/2009 at 10:56pm - misc - by stupid (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I washed one of my roommates t-shirts. I forgot to remove it before putting it in the dryer, and all the print on the front melted off. It was a gift from his girlfriend. Who has just passed away. FML

#5138751
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45761) - you deserved it (17763)

On 09/08/2009 at 10:41pm - misc - by whyme27 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be hot to get it on in the gym storage room at school. Apparently so did my Chemistry and Drama teachers. FML

#5131831
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25137) - you deserved it (6513)

On 09/08/2009 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by TRAMATIZED (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, trying to be sexy I was sucking on my boyfriends fingers. I was really starting to turn him on, when I noticed something crunchy in my mouth. Turns out, he went digging for treasure up his nose earlier. I found the treasure in my mouth. FML

#5074855
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47486) - you deserved it (13553)

On 09/06/2009 at 1:44am - intimacy - by Porkchop05 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was babysitting a boy who was 11 years old. He told me that he loved me and wanted to be my boyfriend. I told him that I think he is a really great kid but I'm 17 so it would never work out. He said okay. When his parents came home he told them that I hit him and started crying. FML

#5035637
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49715) - you deserved it (3198)

On 09/04/2009 at 2:23am - kids - by NotYourLady (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a shower together for the first time. He was trying impress me and did some sort of dance move, he slipped, and when he fell he kicked my leg out causing me to fall and hit my face on the faucet. FML

#4994494
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26554) - you deserved it (3614)

On 09/02/2009 at 5:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my best friend informed me that I could not be her maid of honour because I "wasn't as pretty as the other bridesmaids" and she wanted her wedding photos to have "consistency". FML

#4914313
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50968) - you deserved it (3405)

On 08/29/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by deadmedia (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got a new cell phone. I was texting pictures from my old phone to my new one, including several dirty ones, when I noticed I wasn't receiving any of them on the new phone. I was texting the wrong number. FML

#4792669
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11294) - you deserved it (55574)

On 08/24/2009 at 7:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was on a date with a guy, we were sitting in a restaurant having a fairly good conversation, when I had to go to the washroom. I left the table and when I came back, he was gone. Along with my wallet and car keys. FML

#4658498
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45550) - you deserved it (11894)

On 08/19/2009 at 3:44pm - love - by LifeFucksUsAll (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out the hot girl I'd been flirting with on Facebook is actually 3 10-year-olds who created a fake profile to see how many desperate losers would try to hook up with her. FML

#4412595
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12550) - you deserved it (64182)

On 08/09/2009 at 7:54pm - misc - by pwndbykidz (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went on the large bungee drop at the West Edmonton Mall waterpark. As I was falling, my bikini top came off. I had to wait for the bungee rope to stop moving and the life guard to release the ankle strap. FML

#4056624
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41626) - you deserved it (13098)

On 07/26/2009 at 4:06pm - misc - by HorrorByrd (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad's boss called our house and I answered. He said "is your dad home?" I replied "I'll go check." I put the phone on mute and asked my dad if he wanted to talk to his boss. My dad says "Does that asshole not have a life?" Turns out the phone wasn't on mute, it was on speaker. FML

#3935367
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16372) - you deserved it (37472)

On 07/21/2009 at 5:54pm - misc - by jtaylor94 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I learned that when you flush the toilet, the contents do not disappear into oblivion. They show up in your basement when your sewer backs up. And they come in greater numbers. FML



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