Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Alberta

Today, I asked my boyfriend about his views on personal growth. He replied, "What, you mean dick size?" FML

#20895521
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36036) - you deserved it (7525)

On 09/25/2013 at 10:42am - intimacy - by what (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my English teacher handed back my creative story assignment with a 74% on it. Apparently, she docked 10% because I had an unrealistic, overly dramatic plot line. That plot line was based on my life. FML

#20887417
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40133) - you deserved it (3272)

On 09/19/2013 at 2:15am - work - by Sua - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had an interview for my dream job. I spent all of last night preparing, researching the company, and making sure everything was perfect. My interview was for 8am. I woke up at 10:30 to an alarm that had not gone off. FML

#20886551
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43663) - you deserved it (6973)

On 09/18/2013 at 1:41pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far, she's said "raunchy", "cray-cray", "legit", and "like" an uncountable number of times. She's only been here for a half hour. FML

#20881272
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38279) - you deserved it (3162)

On 09/14/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a man walked into the bank I work at and asked what he would need in order to open an account. I had to look him in the eyes with a straight face, say, "Two pieces of identification," and ask him to put some pants on. FML

#20880767
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35510) - you deserved it (2547)

On 09/14/2013 at 11:04am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I told a guy he should be ashamed of himself for parking in a handicapped space. He hit me with his prosthetic leg. FML

#20875582
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15661) - you deserved it (80790)

On 09/10/2013 at 9:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while working at Home Depot, I was asked to cut some wire. When I asked her how much, she said, "From my computer to the wall". After explaining for a while that I didn't know how far that is, she left. FML

Today, my neighbour was practicing his opera singing, drunk. FML

#20869663
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30268) - you deserved it (2759)

On 09/05/2013 at 11:27pm - misc - by Thesuz - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a soon-to-be-ex co-worker flew into a rage when she saw she wasn't on the schedule for next week. The boss told her it's because she quit. She reminded the boss she wants to keep working part-time. My new job is inventing tasks for her to do to keep her calm. FML

#20869282
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33283) - you deserved it (2047)

On 09/05/2013 at 7:29pm - work - by Zuzubat (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my car window got smashed, because someone somehow confused the doll my daughter always leaves strapped into a carseat for an actual kid. It's a cabbage patch kid. FML

#20867513
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43303) - you deserved it (3137)

On 09/04/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by mother to an ugly doll - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after I explained to my waitress that I have an allergy to butter, she nonetheless put some on my baked potato. When I had her get me another, without butter, she came back with one and then asked if I would like butter with it. FML

#20862628
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42121) - you deserved it (2909)

On 09/01/2013 at 12:40am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my crew and I were berated by a client for not installing her new hardwood floor on time. We were only halfway through the day, but apparently it should have only taken "like, an hour?" because "The guys on the TV shows do it that fast." FML

#20861177
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40689) - you deserved it (2310)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:44am - work - by smashyonewfloors - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom came into my room to give me a goodbye kiss. Due to the routine of my girlfriend doing the exact same thing in the exact same spot, I held the kiss way longer than what a mother/son kiss should last. My mom actually had to tell me to "let go". FML

#20839296
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32861) - you deserved it (25577)

On 08/15/2013 at 9:06pm - misc - by deadman (man) - Canada (Alberta)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: