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FMLs submitted from Alberta

Today, I went to see the latest Paranormal Activity movie with my mother. We were terrified and held hands at one point. The person sitting behind us thought it would be hilarious to abruptly scream into my mother's ear. She reacted by flailing and driving her arm straight into my face. FML

#18158885
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26393) - you deserved it (3955)

On 11/04/2011 at 7:25pm - misc - by Ariel_Mariaa - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to my husband's work to give him lunch. His assistant told me his "wife" was in his office. FML

#18108798
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46348) - you deserved it (2684)

On 10/30/2011 at 2:32am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at my job as a produce clerk at a grocery store, I had an entire conversation with my coworker about how nice the new cabbage boxes are. This is all it takes to thrill me these days. FML

#18078433
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23056) - you deserved it (3150)

On 10/26/2011 at 2:36am - work - by insanitycalling - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom left for a business trip. Thinking it was a good time to throw a party, I mass messaged everyone on my contact list. I thought it was going to be a success. The problem with this? My mom is on my contacts list. She replied "I'll be home in an hour. You're grounded." FML

#17992894
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7989) - you deserved it (64610)

On 10/15/2011 at 8:47pm - misc - by mass message (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out my landlord is too cheap to turn up the hot water tank enough to have a comfortable shower. There's a huge padlock on the door, she won't budge, and I'm signed in until December. FML

#17962852
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21104) - you deserved it (2039)

On 10/11/2011 at 9:05pm - misc - by frigid - (Alberta)

Today, I'd just finished feeding my parrot and sweeping all the seeds under the cage. As I was walking away, my parrot whistled. I turned around to see him get up onto the food dish, pick up a clawful of food and toss it on the floor. FML

Today, I went to the movies on a date. I went to pay for the tickets when I realized that I didn't have my wallet. Instead of my boyfriend paying, he laughed and paid for his own ticket. Then he went ahead and saw the movie without me. FML

#17908594
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45688) - you deserved it (6967)

On 10/05/2011 at 12:16am - love - by myBFsucks - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my roommate was packing up her kitchen stuff as she prepared to move out. Apparently that includes the majority of things I bought last week to replace all of her stuff she is taking. FML

#17870431
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23308) - you deserved it (2563)

On 09/30/2011 at 11:12am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to beat him up so he could look tough around his friends. When I just stared at him, he added, "Please don't break anything though. Nothing too serious." FML

#17845836
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23703) - you deserved it (3242)

On 09/27/2011 at 4:28am - health - by toughbf (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the new office IT guy figured the best way to get the virus off my computer was to wipe my entire hard drive. He was kind enough to back my data up and restore everything from the backups. Including the virus. FML

#17803307
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27655) - you deserved it (2409)

On 09/22/2011 at 8:06am - work - by Soopa-Genius (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML

#17753266
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36451) - you deserved it (23433)

On 09/15/2011 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch under my foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct "crunch". FML

#17694165
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25076) - you deserved it (2905)

On 09/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by all5fingers - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my parents canceled the Internet at our house because they view it as a "passing fad." FML

#17686275
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29651) - you deserved it (2087)

On 09/07/2011 at 1:59am - misc - by doughgirl101 - Canada (Alberta)



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