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FMLs submitted from Alberta

Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML

#16827191
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34068) - you deserved it (4375)

On 06/24/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Sam (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out my wife isn't cheating. She says she's just getting older and sex isn't important anymore. She's 27. FML

#16758586
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37271) - you deserved it (3526)

On 06/20/2011 at 3:43am - intimacy - by wtf - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I learned that if I don't give my mom attention immediately after she calls my name, she will throw a baseball at me. FML

#16504841
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26946) - you deserved it (9480)

On 06/04/2011 at 9:10pm - misc - by wooowmom (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend and I were driving to a costume party. On the way, we got into an argument and she kicked me out of her car. I had to walk around the city center in an Iron Man outfit trying to find the party venue. FML

#16446584
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25356) - you deserved it (8394)

On 06/01/2011 at 1:43am - misc - by 2ndplacechamp - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend in a crowded mall. I thought this was a good idea, until she went ballistic, began screaming and crying, and then stabbed me in the stomach with a ballpoint pen. I got banned from the mall. FML

#16411283
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20117) - you deserved it (45928)

On 05/30/2011 at 12:29am - love - by kingpin9219 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to hand in a resume. The secretary happened to be a girl I liked in high school. When leaving, I shook hands with the employer, waved goodbye to the girl, turned around and walked straight into a glass wall. FML

#16353069
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28966) - you deserved it (5680)

On 05/26/2011 at 2:00am - work - by Fred (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my husband told me that he's letting his mother move in with us. He told her it was alright without even consulting me first. I hate my mother-in-law so much that I'm contemplating divorce rather than living with her. FML

#16040726
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38283) - you deserved it (7166)

On 05/04/2011 at 1:41am - misc - by kayt240 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realized that the black leggings I wear quite often become see-through when I bend over. I have been showing the world my ass as well as my thong for over a month now. FML

#16015656
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9900) - you deserved it (48718)

On 05/02/2011 at 2:39am - misc - by ChrissySoltys (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, during a major argument with my girlfriend, I shoved a door open, which then rebounded and hit me in the face. I'm not sure which is more pathetic: that I was savaged by a door, or that I made up a story about kicking a mugger's ass to explain the huge black eye to my coworkers. FML

#15787937
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8208) - you deserved it (30325)

On 04/14/2011 at 8:53pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my high school guidance counselor tried to convince me NOT to go to college, mainly because it's been so long since someone from my high school went to college, that she got rid of all the college information she used to have. FML

#15768228
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34729) - you deserved it (2519)

On 04/13/2011 at 9:07am - misc - by CollegeBoy (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I saw my unemployed 29-year-old son, who still lives with us, reading the work section of the newspaper and prayed that he was looking for a job. He was looking for the comics. FML

#15753911
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26555) - you deserved it (10761)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:19am - kids - by JT (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I bought myself a brand-new 52" flatscreen. It was only in my house for 2 hours before my toddler had a tantrum, threw a toy right into the screen and wrecked it beyond repair. I paid to have a nice TV for 2 hours. FML

#15739723
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31254) - you deserved it (8253)

On 04/11/2011 at 12:05pm - kids - by ac32 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up to a beautiful sunrise, the smell of bacon in a frying pan, and some dickhead trying to pick the lock on my front door. FML



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