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FMLs submitted from Alberta

Today, I found out while skiing that my dad likes to call me Pimple because I have a pink coat and white helmet. He has tried to squeeze me. FML

#18561191
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20095) - you deserved it (4757)

On 12/20/2011 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while my boyfriend was sneaking out before my parents woke, he slipped on some ice and fell on their car. The alarm went off. FML

#18482470
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13520) - you deserved it (22958)

On 12/11/2011 at 2:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML

#18393059
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25808) - you deserved it (3211)

On 11/30/2011 at 9:57am - love - by preggers - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend went and bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and renewed his WoW subscription. Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two. FML

#18273262
602 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41926) - you deserved it (11054)

On 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad was putting seasoning salt into his mashed potatoes, when the lid came off and poured a ton of salt into the pot. My parents hate wasting food, so we still had to eat it. I think my taste buds are broken. FML

Today, while jogging, I realized my face jiggles more than my breasts. FML

#18180881
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24013) - you deserved it (6471)

On 11/07/2011 at 12:12am - misc - by Janice - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I scored the winning goal in my soccer tournament. For the other team. FML

Today, I went to see the latest Paranormal Activity movie with my mother. We were terrified and held hands at one point. The person sitting behind us thought it would be hilarious to abruptly scream into my mother's ear. She reacted by flailing and driving her arm straight into my face. FML

#18158885
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21233) - you deserved it (3425)

On 11/04/2011 at 7:25pm - misc - by Ariel_Mariaa - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to my husband's work to give him lunch. His assistant told me his "wife" was in his office. FML

#18108798
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43182) - you deserved it (2453)

On 10/30/2011 at 2:32am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at my job as a produce clerk at a grocery store, I had an entire conversation with my coworker about how nice the new cabbage boxes are. This is all it takes to thrill me these days. FML

#18078433
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17358) - you deserved it (2202)

On 10/26/2011 at 2:36am - work - by insanitycalling - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom left for a business trip. Thinking it was a good time to throw a party, I mass messaged everyone on my contact list. I thought it was going to be a success. The problem with this? My mom is on my contacts list. She replied "I'll be home in an hour. You're grounded." FML

#17992894
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6207) - you deserved it (56205)

On 10/15/2011 at 8:47pm - misc - by mass message (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out my landlord is too cheap to turn up the hot water tank enough to have a comfortable shower. There's a huge padlock on the door, she won't budge, and I'm signed in until December. FML

#17962852
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16262) - you deserved it (1668)

On 10/11/2011 at 9:05pm - misc - by frigid - (Alberta)

Today, I'd just finished feeding my parrot and sweeping all the seeds under the cage. As I was walking away, my parrot whistled. I turned around to see him get up onto the food dish, pick up a clawful of food and toss it on the floor. FML



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