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FMLs submitted from Alaska

Today, I hit it off with a girl at a club and I brought her back to my place. I was sure I was finally going to score, until my useless cat attacked her as we walked upstairs. She fell down the stairs and dislocated her ankle. Just my luck. FML

#21489469
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24253) - you deserved it (4675)

On 11/07/2015 at 2:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, four days after moving into my new house, I woke up to a guy yelling "Fuck you, Claire" followed by a brick smashing through my living room window. Now I know why Claire was so eager to finalize the sale. FML

#21480763
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25675) - you deserved it (1439)

On 10/16/2015 at 1:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I told my boss I need a scrub brush to properly clean the stairs at my workplace. She gave me an old toothbrush. FML

#21466140
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20827) - you deserved it (1717)

On 09/08/2015 at 2:46pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, I met my wife's mistress, at the maternity ward in the hospital, after she gave birth to our second child. FML

#21451505
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23959) - you deserved it (2000)

On 08/03/2015 at 9:28pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, while in the waiting room at the dentist's office, I looked up at the news on the TV to see my husband's mugshot. FML

#21443899
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28017) - you deserved it (2089)

On 07/19/2015 at 5:02am - misc - by wtf did he do - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was excited because a friend had added me to a new Facebook chat consisting of my tight circle of friends from last year's summer camp. I then saw when the chat had been created. They kept me out of the chat for almost an entire year before deciding to add me. FML

Today, I lost a grade on an essay, because according to my teacher, I put much more detail into my analytical essay than I should have. FML

#21371844
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32190) - you deserved it (3279)

On 03/10/2015 at 1:36pm - misc - by writerflaw - United States (Alaska)

Today, I got to see my best friend for the first time in months. Her first reaction was to say, "Wow, you gained a lot of weight." I actually lost a fair bit. FML

#21364630
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32350) - you deserved it (2938)

On 02/27/2015 at 2:14pm - misc - by boyishgirl - United States (Alaska)

Today, I found out first-hand that the most horrifying sight you can ever witness is two morbidly obese people getting nasty with each other in a dance club's run-down, public restroom. FML

#21316146
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36045) - you deserved it (5310)

On 12/12/2014 at 11:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, after putting in so much effort to forgive my husband for his affair, we had sex. Not even 2 minutes into it, he called me by the other woman's name. FML

#21309730
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51901) - you deserved it (11701)

On 12/01/2014 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, an elderly woman was crossing the street and dropped her bag of groceries. I got out of my car to assist her, but she beat me repeatedly, yelling that I was "enforcing a stereotype". Sorry for trying to help. FML

#21277469
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36245) - you deserved it (3091)

On 10/14/2014 at 3:15am - misc - by I_AM_READING - United States (Alaska)

Today, I got married. It was a beautiful ceremony with all of our family and friends. Too bad it ended with us leaving the reception before dancing even started, since my groom couldn't stop bawling his eyes out from all the stress. FML

Today, I confronted my girlfriend over how she and a male friend have been going out together, drinking and partying, and at one point holding hands in the street. She angrily accused ME of cheating, because "confronting people like that" is apparently something only cheaters themselves do. FML

#21173408
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49284) - you deserved it (4874)

On 06/13/2014 at 3:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alaska)



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