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FMLs submitted from Alabama

Today, I told my mom that I got into National Honor Society and Beta Club. Most parents are proud but not her. She told me to get a job and that she was tired of my school shit. FML

#21272922
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32661) - you deserved it (2583)

On 10/07/2014 at 5:10pm - misc - by wtfmom - United States (Alabama)

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML

#21247589
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39579) - you deserved it (5578)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16am - misc - by AgentOrion - United States (Alabama)

Today, while walking to work, I saw a homeless guy with a funny "NEED MONEY 4 BOOZE" sign, so I gave him a few spare dollars for his humor. On my way back home, he was out cold on the sidewalk with several empty bottles beside him. Whoops. FML

#21238336
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19432) - you deserved it (36819)

On 08/15/2014 at 5:10pm - money - by thoughthewasjoking (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I stopped two little boys from spitting over a railing at the piano player two floors below in the department store I work at. Their mom complained to my boss about me. FML

#21231280
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38798) - you deserved it (2576)

On 08/06/2014 at 10:22pm - work - by spitstopper - United States (Alabama)

Today, the city shut off our water, because they said we didn't pay the bill. Turns out, it was sitting on their desk the whole time. I guess sending someone out to turn off our water was easier than checking to see if we'd actually paid the bill. FML

#21225552
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39806) - you deserved it (2511)

On 07/31/2014 at 3:35am - money - by fedUPwithPEOPLE (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I have really painful pimples on my upper lip. I'm a professional trombonist, and every note causes excruciating pain. FML

#21220657
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39338) - you deserved it (4875)

On 07/25/2014 at 10:06pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my cousin asked me what it's like to be so fat. I chastised him and said that was a rude thing to ask. He apologized, then asked me what it's like to be such a pussy. He didn't stop until he, a 10 year old kid, had reduced me, a 26 year old woman, to tears. FML

#21190580
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41958) - you deserved it (7502)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:57pm - kids - by keelah (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my dad made the local news. The business he owns is so run down and overgrown that it's officially a public health hazard. FML

#21189640
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40219) - you deserved it (4495)

On 06/26/2014 at 9:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I figured I needed to go on a diet when I discovered I could make farting noises with my neck. FML

#21163432
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36263) - you deserved it (16866)

On 06/05/2014 at 12:11am - health - by fat and alone - United States (Alabama)

Today, I snuck out of the house to go to a party. When I got back later, I tried climbing back up the rope-ladder I'd set up earlier, leading back through my bedroom window. I was halfway up when it broke free. I sprained both my ankles and had to shamefully ring the doorbell to get back in. FML

#21150371
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22986) - you deserved it (50607)

On 05/24/2014 at 4:24pm - misc - by groundedasfuck - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was feeling horny, so I told my boyfriend, who lives 30 minutes away, that "I really needed him". He replied, "Did you fall in the toilet again?" FML

#21107872
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52228) - you deserved it (11853)

On 04/08/2014 at 7:06pm - intimacy - by that girl (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my girlfriend was telling me how sometimes things seem pretty impressive at first, but can turn out to be colossal disappointments when you try them out. "Like your cock," she bitterly finished. FML

#21083945
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44916) - you deserved it (6503)

On 03/11/2014 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by littlefinger (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my brother and I took our cars to get oil changes. While we were there, a guy asked if we were dating. When we told him we were siblings, he responded with, "So?" FML



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