Holidays: Today, is the first day of my honeymoon. It has been 6 years...

By picaru - 21/06/2009 18:00 - United States

Today, is the first day of my honeymoon. It has been 6 years since I took a "real" vacation. We have 3 kids and a small house, and now we have 9 days alone in random hotels to do what couples do on their honeymoon without kids... Day one, I got my period 7 days early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 520

You deserved it 5 336

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Same thing different taste

By TCRII - 08/07/2019 12:00 - United States - Springfield

Today, it's the first day of our honeymoon. My bride just informed me that she invited her ex-husband to come, so he can spend time with the kids. He will be here in 4 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 628

You deserved it 271

By Anonymous - 02/04/2016 19:47 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, it's day 9 of my honeymoon. It's also day 8 of my period and day 7 of food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 085

You deserved it 2 092

So… what now?

By Anonymous - 27/10/2023 04:00

Today, after we recently married, my husband wanted kids and I didn’t, so we agreed we’d have at least 5 years child free, then have one child and one only. I just tested pregnant. Despite all our precautions, I actually got pregnant on our honeymoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 316

By eww657 - 16/12/2009 15:43 - United Kingdom

Today, it's the first evening that my husband and I will have without the kids in 8 months. We had been looking forward to it for ages, and my husband had even bought me some lovely new lingerie for the occasion. Guess what? I just got diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 358

You deserved it 3 881

By betterthanhodor - 08/11/2014 14:09 - United Kingdom - Woodbridge

Today, I was getting everything ready for mine and my husband's first wedding anniversary. Flowers, check. Crisp new bed sheets, check. Silk underwear, check. Crippling cramps and an early period, check. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 037

You deserved it 4 284

Bad timing

By Anna - 20/12/2020 05:02

Today, it's the first day of a long-needed vacation after weeks of stress and overtime. I'm having such intense period cramps, I'm bathed in sweat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 89

By superman21 - 28/09/2014 22:55 - Ireland

Today, I'm on the last day of my honeymoon in Ireland. My wife and I have an amazing hotel room and a huge bed. She's passed out drunk and if I even touch her, she needs the bucket next to our bed. So much for finishing our week on a "fun" note. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 316

You deserved it 6 572

Bad timing

By Anonymous - 16/09/2022 11:00 - Lithuania - Vilnius

Today, it's one day away from my wedding and two days away from our honeymoon trip. Today is also the day that, after dodging it for two years, I got Covid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 232

You deserved it 129

By not funny but :( - 28/03/2013 16:24 - United States - Wooster

Today, while on vacation, I think I met my soul-mate, and quite possibly the love of my life. My vacation is to celebrate my 8-year anniversary with my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 209

You deserved it 60 676

Perfect timing

By Anonymous - 10/08/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, at 36 years-old, I will be leaving to go on my first ever vacation. Aunt Flo held off until yesterday so she could come with me, and she's BAD this month. We were planning on going to the beach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 123

Lounia_fml 8

Sunday 21 June 2009 23:10

how does she deserve this? xD Like really. YDI for being a woman, YDI for leaving your kids.. I wonder what stupid excuses will come up for YDI xD

Anderling 32

Sunday 21 June 2009 23:05

That sucks. Mother nature is awful. Hope things'll look up soon.

Comments

redheadedmonster 24

Saturday 7 January 2012 8:52

I seriously don't see how she deserved this at all.

Maxcold 2

Saturday 7 January 2012 10:01

Ew. Anal is All messy and shit. I don't like having shit on my lol friend.

rachbat00 0

Monday 13 February 2012 4:21

What about anal?

BlAzEtHiS 0

Friday 17 February 2012 3:59

I'd still hit it.

lizabeth200 4

Wednesday 29 February 2012 6:48

That's what condoms are for!

Lightcrusade 9

Wednesday 29 February 2012 10:10

When the path is bloody take the dirt road

turtlehybrid 0

Sunday 15 April 2012 16:51

Ha u said period

yessirre 4

Wednesday 13 June 2012 4:38

Do it in the shower the blood stops and ur twat gets clean at the same time

ILoveFluttershy 3

Thursday 14 June 2012 5:36

When the great river flows red, take the dirt road instead.

_bbybustitopen 9

Saturday 23 February 2013 3:49

If your husband really loved you , he'd do it no matter what ;) a real man loves his woman 365 days of the year ! hahah .

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was having a conversation with a new friend when she remembered she needed to grab something from her car. I don't know where she parked, but it's been two and a half hours and she's still gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 593

You deserved it 2 267

Today, someone who lives off the government stated that all I do as a front line nurse is wipe arses, and that I know nothing about Covid because I'm not a doctor. He refuses to get the vaccine as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 126

You deserved it 197

Today, after I spent 3 months growing my beard and hair so I could go for the Viking look, my mom told me I look almost eerily identical to the registered sex offender who lives 2 streets away. Out come the clippers, I’m going full bald. Three months wasted FML

I agree, your life sucks 976

You deserved it 263

Today, I came home to my boyfriend standing in the living room with his dick in the vacuum cleaner hose. Instead of being embarrassed, he simply said, "The vacuum does it better." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 160

You deserved it 552

Today, my grandmother called. She greeted me by my mother's name. When I told her it wasn't my mother, she apologized and corrected herself, but this time she addressed me as my sister. When I told her it wasn't my sister either, she said, "Sorry, wrong number" and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 534

You deserved it 3 345

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 897

You deserved it 4 649

Same thing different taste

So… what now?

Bad timing

Bad timing

Perfect timing

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