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The all-time greatest FMLs

Give it a goo

By Anonymous - 15/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my parents ate at a new Italian restaurant. They said it was the best they'd ever had and brought me some, insisting I try it. It had so much garlic and sugar in it that I couldn't finish. They're upset because one of our cousins owns the restaurant, and they say I'm not being supportive. We're Irish, not Italian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 91

Outta control

By brother - 21/05/2024 21:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I had to have a serious talk with my little sister about trying to hook up with my friends. Married or not. She just turned 18 but I’m hoping this was the first and last time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 93

Rivalry

By Anonymous - 23/03/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my two idiot boys beat the hell out of each other over a girl they both like. The poor girl isn’t even remotely interested in them, she’s had the same boyfriend for 6 years, and is marrying him next year. What idiots I raised, one has a broken finger and the other is missing teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 154

Just pish yerself

By Anonymous - 30/10/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, I went to the store. In the span of 10 minutes, I went from not needing to pee, to pissing myself in the middle of the crowded store. It wasn’t even just a little bit, it was a full-on stream, and there were no toilets in this store. I’m only 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 143

The betrayal of it all

By Ih8Snitches - 23/09/2022 10:30 - United States

Today, I found out that no matter how friendly a coworker is to you, never vent to them about how the job "is a total shitjoint but pays good” and that the manager “sounds like Cyndi Lauper on crack.” Apparently a listening ear is also a running mouth. I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 1 622

Kinda abusive, you know?

By Anonymous - 17/04/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I have spheksophobia, a fear of wasps and hornets. Instead of being supportive, my parents have decided that threatening to beat the dog shit out of me whenever I react to a wasp in the house is the best way to "cure" me. They also won't spray against wasps because dad claims it irritates his allergies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 108

Isn't she lovely?

By Anonymous - 14/12/2025 12:00

Today, my wife shouted at me for never doing anything for her, which is a brave claim to make while her unemployed ass sits in the house I pay for, enjoying the Netflix I pay for, and the car I pay for so she can drive to Starbucks and use my money to buy £8 coffees for six friends at once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 136

Is this a joke?

By Prank's on me? - 03/04/2024 15:00 - Philippines - Paranaque City

Today, I was ordered by our higher boss to buy 15 boxes of pizza for our even higher boss's birthday party. As I called his favorite pizza place to order, I was told to "FUCK OFF!!!" and was blatantly hung-up upon. When I tried to call again, the company number is now barred. Of all the days, it had to be April 1st. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 119

Roadblocked

By Anonymous - 28/02/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got out of my house at 6:30am to find that some road workers had dug out a trench in the road right in front of my driveway, then fucked off, leaving their van up the street. There are no buses within walking distance so I missed a full day of work and my boss is pissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 67

Don't Touch My Fries

By FML Approved - 22/10/2017 04:00

These aren't beetles... This is Sparta!

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 124

Welcome to reality

By Anonymous - 04/01/2024 06:00 - United States - Warren

Today, my dad came home roughly 3 hours early. He came back because he was laid off from his job, because there was no work for him on his current shift and they haven't found a replacement shift for him at the job he's currently at. Shouldn't they have figured that out in advance? FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 96

I'm always right

By Anonymous - 13/02/2025 05:00 - United States - Crestview

Today, my dad got mad at me because after he told me that when I'm not going anywhere to stop putting on perfume, I told him I wasn't wearing any. I took a shower this morning, my hair is still wet. When I tried to explain this, he got pissed and said that I just needed to accept when he told me I was wrong and shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 93

Neighborly

By Michael McMike - 11/02/2025 20:00 - Canada - Whitehorse

Today, as I always do when we get a lot of snow, I shovelled the snow off my elderly neighbor’s driveway. I slipped and fell into a snowbank, breaking my collarbone, and she had to call 911 to help me out because I couldn't snow angel my way up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 71

Black Mirror type shit

By Kareen - 04/05/2025 15:00 - United States - Austin

Today, out of desperation, I tried a new AI therapist app. Mid-session, it paused and asked, “Before we continue, would you like to upgrade to Premium for $9.99?” My mental breakdown was not included in the free trial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 214

Just chilling

By Cold - 06/01/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, my room was so cold that I actually had to wear a coat to enter it without feeling extremely uncomfortable. I have insulated curtains for this exact reason, but it looks like that won't do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 120

Classic

By Anonymous - 05/08/2025 20:00 - Namibia

Today, I found my girlfriend in bed with her gym trainer. They said they were doing cardio. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 74

You played yourself

By Anonymous - 17/09/2025 00:00

Today, my idiot daughter is sat next to me crying because she took her ex to court for child support, convinced she was gonna get paid, even though her kids live with their dad full time. Now she's paying HIM child support and can’t afford her flat anymore, so she wants to move in with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 136

It's the most wonderful time of the year…

By C.J - 26/12/2024 17:00 - United States - Henderson

Today, I found out I'm "no longer under consideration" for all 8 of the jobs I recently applied for. I'm broke and stuck living with my ex, who's got a new boyfriend. I hate my life and myself, wish I was dead every day, and am stuck in retail hell for the foreseeable future. I barely eat and exist only to work and sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 158

Prank off

By I may also need a Tetanus shot - 08/07/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's sister tried to pull the dog jaw prank on me, accidentally biting my finger in the process. Now she's mad at me because her tooth got chipped when I pulled my hand back, completely disregarding the fact that my finger needed stitches from her bite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 81

Biohazard

By Anonymous - 24/03/2024 10:00 - United States

Today, I have to spray the kitchen whenever my new roommate cooks. Not only can he not cook, but what he usually makes is some godawful concoction of ramen noodles, canned tuna, Tuna Helper, and Ranch dressing for himself. The stink alone is enough to make me choke, but he smokes the entire time he makes it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 118

Heads up

By Anonymous - 18/03/2024 05:00

Today, after a day spent at the beach, I was looking back through our photos. Neither my husband, sisters, kids, or our friends bothered to tell me that my white swimsuit became a bit see-through when wet. In absolutely every photo you could clearly see my pubes and my nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 387

By Nick - 26/01/2010 21:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out I have a daughter. How did I find out? She added me on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 70

Irritable

By majestic09 - 15/01/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, like most days, no matter what I eat, my stomach does not agree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 109

Unrequited lover

By Anonymous - 13/11/2020 11:31

Today, I had to give advice to my best friend and love of my life. What kind of advice? What to wear while on a date with some guy. We're roommates, and she wouldn't stop telling me about everything when she got home. This happens on a regular basis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 991

This is all over the place

By Anonymous - 17/09/2023 08:00

Today, it's been a troubled day. Me and my girlfriend got into it because she believes that I stepped out on her, which I didn’t. I haven’t had sex in over 15 years. I'd gotten an STI from a ex, and had no idea that I had anything, so now I’m "nasty" according to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 194

Message in a virtual bottle

By Anonymous - 26/06/2025 16:00 - United States - Fayetteville

Today, I was feeling extremely depressed and worthless, so I decided to use the crisis chat. I told them I felt lonely and worthless, and had nobody to talk to. They never responded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 85

By Pwnedofthedead - 03/10/2009 15:34 - Canada

Today, I was walking to my friends Halloween themed birthday party in my zombie costume. Apparently, my crazy coke addicted neighbor found the costume too realistic. He tackled me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 38

Gotta keep grinding

By Anonymous - 22/08/2025 05:00 - United States

Today, I was once again called into work on my day off after someone called in sick. All I want is one day where I get to stay home. Please. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 115

Old soul

By Anonymous - 12/04/2024 08:00 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, I realized I’ve become an old woman. I have dentures, wear bifocal glasses, have rheumatoid arthritis, carry a stash of candy in my purse, and got excited when I bought a new potato peeler. I’m only 29, but I’m an old woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 161

Mean girls

By Imstuuuupid - 25/02/2022 00:01

Today, not even a month into the new semester, I have a hearing at the Dean’s office for academic dishonesty. My classmate and “friend” who I’ve been doing online quizzes with at home (considered cheating) decided to throw me under the bus, all because I wouldn’t let her borrow $100. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 1 091

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The Top

Today, I witnessed a drunk woman going on a manic, unhinged rant about her vagina. It would’ve been funny if she wasn’t my blind date. The worst part is that we were at my favorite restaurant, and I can probably never show my face there again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 180

You deserved it 190

Today, my son came home saying there had been a bad accident where two people died in a crash. This sounded terrible but he then said, "Yeah, I took pictures. Wanna see the bodies? They’re disgusting." Everyone in the house except me jumped up to look at those poor dead people. I raised savages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 149

Today, my chair abruptly fell apart completely while I was sitting on it. I didn't even do anything. Have I really gained that much weight? FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 187

Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 911

You deserved it 2 351

Today, I saw my 4 year-old daughter singing and dancing, so I decided to sing along. As soon as I started singing she said, without blinking her eyes and super calmly, "Could you please stop doing that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 777

You deserved it 278

Today, I was sitting on the toilet with a really bad and noisy stomach upset. Then I hear a knock on the bathroom door. My boyfriend had decided to make a surprise visit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 838

You deserved it 3 173