This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By NurseNyasty - 11/03/2019 20:00

Today I realized my sex life is a joke. I've waited till marriage with my high school sweet heart and she can't get it in. The week long honeymoon was fighting and no sex. We moved out thinking "we need more time alone" now i have a nagging wife that can't satisfy me. 23 excited for cleaning. FML
I agree, your life sucks 936
You deserved it 775

Top comments

Burle 17

You guys are basically doing everything wrong

Comments

Burle 17

You guys are basically doing everything wrong

brullon 1

This could legitimately be vaginismus. And she may need or want to consider seeing a doctor for treatment.

are you sure you're going in the right hole?

without ample preparation and lubrication it is near impossible and very painful

yeah, I also think it depends on "training" and the thickness of the dick. and like protoskore said: without some help like oil, lubricant... it sounds painful...

Op's Dick is literally so big its ruining his life.

Uh, sounds like you are extremely uncaring. It can take multiple attempts at “playing around” down there before things relax enough to work. Since you seem to be a virgin, know that foreplay is more than a tit squeeze and should take more than 10 minutes- and **** is generally the opposite of what you should do.

Your girlfriend must be one really lucky lady!

@OGSJ: 4play is not (only) to make a woman get aroused, it could also be used, for example, to give her some pleasure. I know, it sounds like a crazy idea, but there are women out there who also like to come and enjoy sex. Who had thought...

Not OGSteveJobs cos he’s never had a woman to try and satisfy...

manb91uk 22

If t you guys are going to break up over a difficult start to your sex life, you don't have a very strong relationship. I don't know whether you're male or female tbh... But have you considered working with her? Guide her.. Give of yourself.. Sensual massage, stimulation of her areas with fingers and tongue. Etc. Help her relax into sex. A woman having sex for the first time is scary and painful and you need to really put yourself and your needs to one side. If they are issues getting it in still, then yes... As the other person has said, there could be an underlying condition that may need addressing. Good luck, but above all... GROW UP!

Free Internet **** to the rescue! Back in the bad, old, pre-Internet days, this was a precursor to uxoricide. If you’re not familiar with that word (or just Googled it), you have Internet **** to thank.

tounces7 27

23 Excited for cleaning? Did you just copy/paste this from somewhere and accidentally copy and paste too much and go into the next article?