Miscellaneous: Today, I showed by ID to get into a bar and the bouncer kept...

By jcesom - 29/07/2009 05:53 - United States

Today, I showed by ID to get into a bar and the bouncer kept it because he said it wasn't me. It was. Apparently I've gained so much weight I am unrecognizable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 562

You deserved it 15 949

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Same thing different taste

Sorry mate, I didn't know

By Baboosh - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, was my first day as a bouncer. I was a bit late and didn't meet all the staff. Later that night, some fairly drunk guy was trying to force his way in, I told him we were at capacity and that he would have to wait. He kept trying and I ended up pushing him to the floor. He was the owner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 632

You deserved it 14 152

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I agree, your life sucks 43 133

You deserved it 6 763

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Today, I wanted to use my gift card for a liquor store. I went to pay the cashier, who said he needed to see my license. I gave it to him, along with my gift card. After paying, he asked me if I wanted him to cut it up, since the card was now worthless. I said yes. He cut up the wrong card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 209

You deserved it 4 892

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I agree, your life sucks 42 971

You deserved it 4 788

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I agree, your life sucks 19 088

You deserved it 1 756

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Today, a guy asked for my number at a party. As I was entering my number into his phone, my name and a picture of me popped up. I'm afraid I just met my stalker. FML

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You deserved it 3 364

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Today, I went on a date with a guy I had been talking to online for weeks. When I showed up, he looked nothing like his profile picture, and he spent the entire time talking about his ex-girlfriend. FML

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You deserved it 163

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Today, when I showed someone my 9-year old passport, she commented, “You look so different! Now you have that Jason Statham thing going on!” My hair goes down to my shoulders; this confirms that my receding hairline is real and it’s time to come to grips. At least I’m over 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 233

You deserved it 551

It's sus to us

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - New Orleans

Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 452

You deserved it 4 508

tick_tock 0

Wednesday 29 July 2009 16:14

You should have called the police, he can't keep your ID.

sportmaster525 0

Wednesday 29 July 2009 16:05

well that's quite the predicament

Comments

alki_fml 5

Wednesday 29 July 2009 16:29

a tell tale sign that its time to lay off the twinkies and get your ass to a gym!

nodayliketoday 0

Wednesday 29 July 2009 16:42

gaining weight isn't always a bad thing, dumbfucks. I gained fifty pounds after I went to hospital. I am now at a healthy weight, but no-one recognised me when I got out either. Chill out with the ZOMG U SO FATTTT comments.

sportmaster525 0

Wednesday 29 July 2009 16:44

ZOMG U SO FATTTT oh wait what...sorry... anyways, could be your fault, might not be, not saying either way

blondie3689 1

Thursday 30 July 2009 8:00

hahaha....exactly =P Take this as an incentive to lose weight...or get a new picture on ur ID?

Qup 0

Wednesday 29 July 2009 16:54

so lose weight and ask for your ID back.

falling4 0

Wednesday 29 July 2009 17:00

haha it's ok. i had just gotten my wisdom teeth pulled out before i had my drivers test... i have really swollen cheeks in my picture .. it looks nothing like me lol

lettertjes 0

Wednesday 29 July 2009 17:21

I don't know about US law, but I can't imagine it's legal for a bouncer to confiscate someones ID.

lmmmr 0

Wednesday 29 July 2009 17:35

If they think that it's fake they have to.

tkel87 0

Wednesday 29 July 2009 17:30

It is illegal for a bouncer to keep your ID if its really you in the picture go back to the bar with a cop and get your ID bak... also lose weight cause this is pathetic