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Today, my girlfriend left for basic training. I went to say goodbye to her at the airport. Only after I walked back to my car did I realize that she still had the keys. My extra set was back at the house, locked in. FML

#20471606
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32005) - you deserved it (5967)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:55pm - misc - by blank - United States

Today, I got caught shoplifting a toothbrush. I'm flat broke and my roommate used my old one to scrub out her cat's puke stains off the carpet. FML

#19997834
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22376) - you deserved it (17086)

On 08/02/2012 at 2:53am - money - by busted - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to get a tattoo of my girlfriend's name to surprise her. Halfway through the tattooing, she called and broke up with me. FML

#14598799
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16263) - you deserved it (63081)

On 01/16/2011 at 5:48am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, it was my court date for a car accident I was involved in back in July. I had spent months preparing a case to prove my innocence. I was scheduled to appear at 10:00 this morning. I woke up at 10:15AM. FML

#5249828
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11678) - you deserved it (64157)

On 09/14/2009 at 11:17am - misc - by CWoah (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head on my cash register. A second later, I heard roaring laughter from the security room, followed by someone saying to play it back. I'd almost convinced myself it wasn't about me, when one of the guys came out and gave me a thumb up. FML

#21349710
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33663) - you deserved it (2976)

On 02/04/2015 at 2:28pm - work - by fxck (woman) -

Today, in my psychology class, the creepy guy who sits beside me every day leans over and says, "I have an upset stomach, I may have to use the bathroom." FML

#19404760
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18161) - you deserved it (2023)

On 04/04/2012 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, and for the last two weeks I have been preparing my girlfriend for a break up with nasty remarks. She has been finding me exceptionally funny. FML

#548
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6289) - you deserved it (33347)

On 12/18/2008 at 11:11pm - love - by Olive - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me. I said yes and he gave me an engagement ring. He immediately went to call his mom to tell her the happy news. After the phone call, he asked if he could return the ring because his mom needed money. FML

#5110290
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51525) - you deserved it (3436)

On 09/07/2009 at 6:08pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I discovered that the only thing more disgusting than watching a little kid shove their finger up their nose and eat their fresh green mucus is watching your grandmother do the same. FML

#20011258
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20184) - you deserved it (1647)

On 08/09/2012 at 10:51am - health - by MsConfusedd - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking home from piano lessons when I see my dad on a bike so I shout after him. He turns his head around and then runs into a tree. It wasn't my dad. FML

#2028672
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19538) - you deserved it (33121)

On 05/17/2009 at 8:35pm - misc - by Richocet - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I dined and dashed. Upon reaching my car, I realized I had left my seven year-old daughter in the restaurant. FML

#18217676
378 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9107) - you deserved it (112300)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:17am - kids - by embarrassed - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I ran for the first time in ages when I saw my bus coming. My loose shoe went flying into a shop doorway, and I tripped into the gutter. FML

#21009861
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32909) - you deserved it (6022)

On 12/29/2013 at 10:52pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was telling my boyfriend how proud I am of him for finding a really good job. He interrupted me to tell me that my breath smelled like his cat's. FML

#20484067
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21934) - you deserved it (7974)

On 01/28/2013 at 11:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend of almost six years asked me to move in with him. I assumed he meant that he was finally moving out of his parents' house and had found a place for us to live. No, it turns out he means he wants me to move in with him at his parents' place. FML

#20519650
76 comments

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