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By punkiebrew - 16/1/2021 02:01

Bacon lovers unite

Today, my oven door fell off when I was trying to take out the bacon I was cooking. Why? Nobody hates bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks
552
You deserved it
101
2 Comments
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By Alyxandrea Loffer - 26/7/2020 14:00

Oh, hai!

Today, while answering hospice calls, I had to take this one with a straight face. FML
I agree, your life sucks
690
You deserved it
114
0 Comments
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By Alyxandrea Loffer - 9/7/2020 17:02

Green fingers

Today, I learned that the $30 plant that I've been tediously tending to and extremely proud of for thriving is actually just a subspecies of ragweed. FML
I agree, your life sucks
1031
You deserved it
424
3 Comments
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By Anonymous - 23/5/2020 23:00

Crossed wires

Today, there's no recovering from this. FML
I agree, your life sucks
551
You deserved it
287
1 Comments
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By Anonymous

That sinking feeling…

Today, I went to change the toilet paper roll. I failed. It was the last roll of the "right kind," and my wife is "fine" and "not mad." Let the confinement continue. FML
I agree, your life sucks
1362
You deserved it
388
6 Comments
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By marina1686

If the shoe fits…

Today, I worked a 9-hour retail like this. I didn't notice until 3 hours into my shift and had to deal with this embarrassment for the next 6 hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks
680
You deserved it
950
15 Comments
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By FMLMaximus

Warranties don't cover kids, do they?

Today, my two year-old fell with a toy in her hand. The TV isn't even paid off yet. FML
I agree, your life sucks
1173
You deserved it
440
8 Comments
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By Sonia Kirpalani
Today, I was drunk at a festival. I finally found the chippy, only to spend 7 quid on chips and curry sauce that my deck chair was never going to let me eat. FML
I agree, your life sucks
528
You deserved it
875
6 Comments
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By FML

Relatable.

I agree, your life sucks
618
You deserved it
66
0 Comments
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By FML

FML in a nutshell.

I agree, your life sucks
784
You deserved it
103
1 Comments
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By FML

FML Users Rise Up!

I agree, your life sucks
842
You deserved it
104
0 Comments
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By FML

We've lost track of the plot of the show.

I agree, your life sucks
590
You deserved it
100
1 Comments
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By FML

So, how's your summer so far?

I agree, your life sucks
656
You deserved it
97
3 Comments
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By FML

Summer's here, and the time is right for…

I agree, your life sucks
805
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140
0 Comments
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By FML

Mondays are like…

I agree, your life sucks
999
You deserved it
99
2 Comments
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By Nav
  Today, I sent a sexy text to my husband while he waited for a flight home at the airport. This was his response. FML
I agree, your life sucks
1318
You deserved it
740
17 Comments
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By Ash
Today, the key broke inside my lock and I ended up needing bolt cutters. Cool. FML
I agree, your life sucks
1080
You deserved it
118
2 Comments
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By Anonymous
Today, after I finally got the money for a pool, I built a deck, filled it a quarter of the way, then all the 4x4 beams collapsed. The pool ripped in half, flooding the yard. FML
I agree, your life sucks
1242
You deserved it
843
11 Comments
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By FML

The FML Motto

I agree, your life sucks
625
You deserved it
89
1 Comments
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By Anonymous
Today, I told my toddler to put the cat down, so he did. On my leg. I guess I should have been more specific. FML
I agree, your life sucks
1325
You deserved it
264
4 Comments
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By deerling
Today, while shaving I accidentally shaved of half of my left nipple. Worst of all? I didn't notice it until I looked down and saw blood everywhere. That's when the pain hit. FML
I agree, your life sucks
1919
You deserved it
456
14 Comments
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By CoffeeMate
Today, my infant son refused to let me put him down for two minutes while I ate breakfast this morning. I was in a hurry to get to an event as it was, so I held him as I ate in the kitchen. While I did so, he, like a demonic feline, decided to smack my full cup of coffee over. FML.
I agree, your life sucks
1579
You deserved it
444
14 Comments
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By Anonymous
Today, at work, I received flowers from a Tinder fling gone wrong. He constantly flipped out on me and then would apologize. I finally got tired of it and blocked him on all social media. The scary part is that I never told him where I work. FML
I agree, your life sucks
2863
You deserved it
230
12 Comments
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By Why Me
Today, I borrowed my friend's truck to move. After unloading everything, I worked up a killer appetite and went to a drive thru. I found some Germ X in the truck, so I could eat on the way home... or so I thought. It turned out to be anal lube. I covered my hands in it. FML
I agree, your life sucks
1835
You deserved it
643
3 Comments
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By LennyFace134 - Canada - Burlington
Today, my "friend" returned my Survival Edition of Fallout 3. I should be happy, but he scratched it all to hell. My dad paid nearly $500 for it. He refuses to pay for it to be fixed or buy me a new one. FML
I agree, your life sucks
2278
You deserved it
755
22 Comments
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By tristaph
Today, a bird took a dump on my truck as I was driving and the wind pushed it into the keyhole. FML
I agree, your life sucks
2326
You deserved it
174
6 Comments
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By jeauxann
Today, my landlord refused to send a plumber over to unclog the sink. Now he wants me to pay for water damages because he didn't call a plumber sooner. FML
I agree, your life sucks
3531
You deserved it
274
7 Comments
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By Amber Rutledge
Today, my 2-year-old learned how to open the fridge lock. I came out of the bathroom to what she called a "scrambled egg breakfast". FML
I agree, your life sucks
2794
You deserved it
421
4 Comments
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By Alan

FML's Christmas Bingo!

Cross off each subject as it is mentioned during your Christmas with family and/or friends!
I agree, your life sucks
1162
You deserved it
220
5 Comments
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By FML Approved - United States - New York
I agree, your life sucks
1621
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228
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Nearly  
Today, I ruined a 5 year no self harm run after me and my mother got into an argument. I’m 24 and still hate her for calling me disgusting and disgraceful...
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0 Comments
Today a judge in my country decided that it’s okay to force people to get a COVID-test, even if they’re not sick. Meanwhile, another judge decided that...
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  Spicy
  Today, I'm in a relationship in which the sex was great and constant at the beginning. Now it’s so quick, bad and inconsistent, it’s like going at it with...
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384
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1 Comments
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