By punkiebrew - 16/1/2021 02:01 Bacon lovers unite Today, my oven door fell off when I was trying to take out the bacon I was cooking. Why? Nobody hates bacon. FML I agree, your life sucks 497 You deserved it 92 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Alyxandrea Loffer - 26/7/2020 14:00 Oh, hai! Today, while answering hospice calls, I had to take this one with a straight face. FML I agree, your life sucks 679 You deserved it 111 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Alyxandrea Loffer - 9/7/2020 17:02 Green fingers Today, I learned that the $30 plant that I've been tediously tending to and extremely proud of for thriving is actually just a subspecies of ragweed. FML I agree, your life sucks 1006 You deserved it 414 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 23/5/2020 23:00 Crossed wires Today, there's no recovering from this. FML I agree, your life sucks 540 You deserved it 280 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 6/4/2020 08:00 That sinking feeling… Today, I went to change the toilet paper roll. I failed. It was the last roll of the "right kind," and my wife is "fine" and "not mad." Let the confinement continue. FML I agree, your life sucks 1336 You deserved it 383 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By marina1686 If the shoe fits… Today, I worked a 9-hour retail like this. I didn't notice until 3 hours into my shift and had to deal with this embarrassment for the next 6 hours. FML I agree, your life sucks 664 You deserved it 927 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By FMLMaximus Warranties don't cover kids, do they? Today, my two year-old fell with a toy in her hand. The TV isn't even paid off yet. FML I agree, your life sucks 1152 You deserved it 431 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sonia Kirpalani Today, I was drunk at a festival. I finally found the chippy, only to spend 7 quid on chips and curry sauce that my deck chair was never going to let me eat. FML I agree, your life sucks 521 You deserved it 861 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By FML FML in a nutshell. I agree, your life sucks 771 You deserved it 101 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By FML FML Users Rise Up! I agree, your life sucks 825 You deserved it 102 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By FML We've lost track of the plot of the show. I agree, your life sucks 576 You deserved it 100 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By FML So, how's your summer so far? I agree, your life sucks 639 You deserved it 96 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By FML Summer's here, and the time is right for… I agree, your life sucks 795 You deserved it 140 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By FML Mondays are like… I agree, your life sucks 988 You deserved it 98 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Nav Today, I sent a sexy text to my husband while he waited for a flight home at the airport. This was his response. FML I agree, your life sucks 1306 You deserved it 731 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ash Today, the key broke inside my lock and I ended up needing bolt cutters. Cool. FML I agree, your life sucks 1071 You deserved it 118 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, after I finally got the money for a pool, I built a deck, filled it a quarter of the way, then all the 4x4 beams collapsed. The pool ripped in half, flooding the yard. FML I agree, your life sucks 1229 You deserved it 837 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I told my toddler to put the cat down, so he did. On my leg. I guess I should have been more specific. FML I agree, your life sucks 1316 You deserved it 260 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By deerling Today, while shaving I accidentally shaved of half of my left nipple. Worst of all? I didn't notice it until I looked down and saw blood everywhere. That's when the pain hit. FML I agree, your life sucks 1908 You deserved it 454 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By CoffeeMate Today, my infant son refused to let me put him down for two minutes while I ate breakfast this morning. I was in a hurry to get to an event as it was, so I held him as I ate in the kitchen. While I did so, he, like a demonic feline, decided to smack my full cup of coffee over. FML. I agree, your life sucks 1567 You deserved it 440 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, at work, I received flowers from a Tinder fling gone wrong. He constantly flipped out on me and then would apologize. I finally got tired of it and blocked him on all social media. The scary part is that I never told him where I work. FML I agree, your life sucks 2850 You deserved it 230 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Why Me Today, I borrowed my friend's truck to move. After unloading everything, I worked up a killer appetite and went to a drive thru. I found some Germ X in the truck, so I could eat on the way home... or so I thought. It turned out to be anal lube. I covered my hands in it. FML I agree, your life sucks 1821 You deserved it 638 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By LennyFace134 - Canada - Burlington Today, my "friend" returned my Survival Edition of Fallout 3. I should be happy, but he scratched it all to hell. My dad paid nearly $500 for it. He refuses to pay for it to be fixed or buy me a new one. FML I agree, your life sucks 2264 You deserved it 749 22 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tristaph Today, a bird took a dump on my truck as I was driving and the wind pushed it into the keyhole. FML I agree, your life sucks 2314 You deserved it 174 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jeauxann Today, my landlord refused to send a plumber over to unclog the sink. Now he wants me to pay for water damages because he didn't call a plumber sooner. FML I agree, your life sucks 3521 You deserved it 274 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Amber Rutledge Today, my 2-year-old learned how to open the fridge lock. I came out of the bathroom to what she called a "scrambled egg breakfast". FML I agree, your life sucks 2788 You deserved it 419 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Alan FML's Christmas Bingo! Cross off each subject as it is mentioned during your Christmas with family and/or friends! I agree, your life sucks 1160 You deserved it 220 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By FML Approved - United States - New York I agree, your life sucks 1616 You deserved it 228 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today I kicked our cat. And realized, the thing about cats is: They have no concept of the fact that humans cannot see them in the dark. FML I agree, your life sucks 30 You deserved it 29 0 Comments
Today my wife who I have been with for 13 year told me that it’s over and from the start we were never going to work at all...now I’m cold. FML I agree, your life sucks 7 You deserved it 0 0 Comments
Today, my best friend confided in me that she's going to have sex with her cousin. Shocked, I tried to convince her not to and how it's a horrible idea.... I agree, your life sucks 297 You deserved it 37 2 Comments
Today, my ex-girlfriend called me say she needed her car repaired. I fixed it as fast as I could so she could get back on her way, only to find out she’s... I agree, your life sucks 431 You deserved it 331 5 Comments
