Your everyday life stories

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Today, I was drunk at a festival. I finally found the chippy, only to spend 7 quid on chips and curry sauce that my deck chair was never going to let me eat. FML

By Sonia Kirpalani - 5/8/2019 00:01

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By FML - 16/7/2019 05:18

Relatable.

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By FML - 12/7/2019 17:10

FML in a nutshell.

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By FML - 11/7/2019 17:00

FML Users Rise Up!

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By FML - 10/7/2019 15:05

We've lost track of the plot of the show.

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By FML - 8/7/2019 11:00

So, how's your summer so far?

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By FML - 6/7/2019 17:00

Summer's here, and the time is right for…

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By FML - 24/6/2019 22:47

Mondays are like…

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Today, I sent a sexy text to my husband while he waited for a flight home at the airport. This was his response. FML

By Nav - 16/6/2019 22:00

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Today, the key broke inside my lock and I ended up needing bolt cutters. Cool. FML

By Ash - 14/6/2019 14:02

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Today, after I finally got the money for a pool, I built a deck, filled it a quarter of the way, then all the 4x4 beams collapsed. The pool ripped in half, flooding the yard. FML

By Anonymous - 10/6/2019 20:00

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By FML - 23/5/2019 03:29

The FML Motto

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Today, I told my toddler to put the cat down, so he did. On my leg. I guess I should have been more specific. FML

By Anonymous - 22/5/2019 06:04

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Today, while shaving I accidentally shaved of half of my left nipple. Worst of all? I didn't notice it until I looked down and saw blood everywhere. That's when the pain hit. FML

By deerling - 6/3/2019 18:00

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Today, my infant son refused to let me put him down for two minutes while I ate breakfast this morning. I was in a hurry to get to an event as it was, so I held him as I ate in the kitchen. While I did so, he, like a demonic feline, decided to smack my full cup of coffee over. FML.

By CoffeeMate - 21/12/2018 20:00

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Today, at work, I received flowers from a Tinder fling gone wrong. He constantly flipped out on me and then would apologize. I finally got tired of it and blocked him on all social media. The scary part is that I never told him where I work. FML

By Anonymous - 1/9/2018 03:30

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Today, I borrowed my friend's truck to move. After unloading everything, I worked up a killer appetite and went to a drive thru. I found some Germ X in the truck, so I could eat on the way home... or so I thought. It turned out to be anal lube. I covered my hands in it. FML

By Why Me - 15/8/2018 04:00

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Today, my "friend" returned my Survival Edition of Fallout 3. I should be happy, but he scratched it all to hell. My dad paid nearly $500 for it. He refuses to pay for it to be fixed or buy me a new one. FML

By LennyFace134 - 7/8/2018 22:00 - Canada - Burlington

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Today, a bird took a dump on my truck as I was driving and the wind pushed it into the keyhole. FML

By tristaph - 1/8/2018 00:00

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Today, my landlord refused to send a plumber over to unclog the sink. Now he wants me to pay for water damages because he didn't call a plumber sooner. FML

By jeauxann - 11/5/2018 23:59

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Today, my 2-year-old learned how to open the fridge lock. I came out of the bathroom to what she called a "scrambled egg breakfast". FML

By Amber Rutledge - 27/1/2018 00:00

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Cross off each subject as it is mentioned during your Christmas with family and/or friends!

By Alan - 25/12/2017 17:30

FML's Christmas Bingo!

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By FML Approved - 19/10/2017 21:00 - United States - New York

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By FML Approved - 18/10/2017 21:00 - United States - New York

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By FML Approved - 16/10/2017 14:30

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By FML Approved - 14/10/2017 08:29 - United States - New York

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By FML Approved - 13/10/2017 14:30

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By FML Approved - 12/10/2017 14:30

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By FML Approved - 11/10/2017 14:30

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