Your everyday life stories

666

109

Today, I learned that the $30 plant that I've been tediously tending to and extremely proud of for thriving is actually just a subspecies of ragweed. FML

By Alyxandrea Loffer - 9/7/2020 17:02

Green fingers

991

410

Today, there's no recovering from this. FML

By Anonymous - 23/5/2020 23:00

Crossed wires

537

277

Today, I went to change the toilet paper roll. I failed. It was the last roll of the "right kind," and my wife is "fine" and "not mad." Let the confinement continue. FML

By Anonymous - 6/4/2020 08:00

That sinking feeling…

1328

383

Today, I worked a 9-hour retail like this. I didn't notice until 3 hours into my shift and had to deal with this embarrassment for the next 6 hours. FML

By marina1686

If the shoe fits…

654

917

Today, my two year-old fell with a toy in her hand. The TV isn't even paid off yet. FML

By FMLMaximus

Warranties don't cover kids, do they?

1143

425

Today, I was drunk at a festival. I finally found the chippy, only to spend 7 quid on chips and curry sauce that my deck chair was never going to let me eat. FML

By Sonia Kirpalani

520

853

By FML

Relatable.

602

By FML

FML in a nutshell.

763

101

By FML

FML Users Rise Up!

819

102

By FML

We've lost track of the plot of the show.

573

100

By FML

So, how's your summer so far?

635

By FML

Summer's here, and the time is right for…

790

140

By FML

Mondays are like…

986

Today, I sent a sexy text to my husband while he waited for a flight home at the airport. This was his response. FML

By Nav

1302

731

Today, the key broke inside my lock and I ended up needing bolt cutters. Cool. FML

By Ash

1066

118

Today, after I finally got the money for a pool, I built a deck, filled it a quarter of the way, then all the 4x4 beams collapsed. The pool ripped in half, flooding the yard. FML

By Anonymous

1223

833

By FML

The FML Motto

614

Today, I told my toddler to put the cat down, so he did. On my leg. I guess I should have been more specific. FML

By Anonymous

1312

259

Today, while shaving I accidentally shaved of half of my left nipple. Worst of all? I didn't notice it until I looked down and saw blood everywhere. That's when the pain hit. FML

By deerling

1900

452

Today, my infant son refused to let me put him down for two minutes while I ate breakfast this morning. I was in a hurry to get to an event as it was, so I held him as I ate in the kitchen. While I did so, he, like a demonic feline, decided to smack my full cup of coffee over. FML.

By CoffeeMate

1563

439

Today, at work, I received flowers from a Tinder fling gone wrong. He constantly flipped out on me and then would apologize. I finally got tired of it and blocked him on all social media. The scary part is that I never told him where I work. FML

By Anonymous

2845

229

Today, I borrowed my friend's truck to move. After unloading everything, I worked up a killer appetite and went to a drive thru. I found some Germ X in the truck, so I could eat on the way home... or so I thought. It turned out to be anal lube. I covered my hands in it. FML

By Why Me

1819

635

Today, my "friend" returned my Survival Edition of Fallout 3. I should be happy, but he scratched it all to hell. My dad paid nearly $500 for it. He refuses to pay for it to be fixed or buy me a new one. FML

By LennyFace134 - Canada - Burlington

2257

744

Today, a bird took a dump on my truck as I was driving and the wind pushed it into the keyhole. FML

By tristaph

2308

174

Today, my landlord refused to send a plumber over to unclog the sink. Now he wants me to pay for water damages because he didn't call a plumber sooner. FML

By jeauxann

3515

274

Today, my 2-year-old learned how to open the fridge lock. I came out of the bathroom to what she called a "scrambled egg breakfast". FML

By Amber Rutledge

2786

418

Cross off each subject as it is mentioned during your Christmas with family and/or friends!

By Alan

FML's Christmas Bingo!

1157

220

By FML Approved - United States - New York

1613

227

By FML Approved - United States - New York

3374

194