Today, my dad confessed that the only reason I'm alive today is because he couldn't afford to pay for an abortion. He couldn't afford it because he'd splashed out on brand new furniture at IKEA shortly before discovering my mom was pregnant. FML

by Savannah / 08/01/2011 at 5:20pm / United States (Alaska) / Money

Today, I discovered that the more money I earn, the more my personal belongings break down on me. FML

by talwin / 07/27/2011 at 12:05am / Reserved / Money

Today, my friends and I rented a party bus, which broke down on the highway 45 minutes into the ride. I paid the guy for the whole four hours. He said he was going to flag down a car to get someone to help us. We saw him get into a car and leave. FML

by tim12345 / 07/25/2011 at 12:08pm / United States / Money

Today, I was riding on my bike when I saw a homeless guy holding a sign saying, "Need money, stranded from Oklahoma." I decided to be nice, and hopped off my bike to give him $2. He took the money, and then jacked my bike. FML

by Joe thomas / 07/24/2011 at 12:22am / United States (Florida) / Money

Today, I was discussing the traffic with my brother. He said the most common car colour is red. I said it was black. We ended up betting €100 on which three vehicles of either colour would pass by our house first. It seems a convoy of fire trucks had somewhere to be in a hurry. FML

by zerom / 07/22/2011 at 8:52pm / France / Money

Today, I paid $5000 for a new fence in my backyard for my dogs. My dog escaped three hours after the contractor finished the fence. FML

by dontfencemein / 07/22/2011 at 12:25am / United States / Money

Today, after babysitting, the parents actually tried to pay me in Trident Layers Gum. FML

by iwantmoney / 07/21/2011 at 8:20pm / United States (Ohio) / Money

Today, my step dad stole over $400 worth of savings from me. He spent it on alcohol, fireworks, and a very large sombrero. FML

by _TaToRtOt_ / 07/18/2011 at 9:08am / United States (Virginia) / Money

Today, I got robbed at the gas station I work at. After only getting $38 dollars out the register, the guy then steals my purse. It had my rent money in it. FML

by jennlikewhoa / 07/18/2011 at 6:07am / United States / Money

Today, while I was waitressing, two girls ran up a tab of $60 in drinks. They ended up not paying the bill and walking out. My boss told me it won't be the first time or last, as he made me pay their bill. FML

by sfabsits / 07/17/2011 at 3:00am / United States (Illinois) / Money

Today, I got mugged. I also got an extra kick in the face for not having money in my wallet. FML

by Tanner / 07/16/2011 at 2:23am / United States (Tennessee) / Money

Today, I received a $50 iTunes card for my birthday. I immediately sat down at my computer and starting buying all my newest favorites. Then I realized I never redeemed my card so the $50 was all charged to my account. FML

by brokeaf / 07/11/2011 at 3:09pm / United States / Money

Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML

by Lame / 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm / United States (New York) / Money