Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I got a huge bill through the post. It turns out that my elderly mother made the vet come out to my house to see the dog while I was out, because she was scared of the little growths she had found on his body. They were nipples. FML

#10925593
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31301) - you deserved it (2407)

On 06/02/2010 at 7:15pm - money - by dogshavenipples (man) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, someone broke into my car to steal $1.50. FML

#10908235
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32516) - you deserved it (3408)

On 06/01/2010 at 2:47pm - money - by Brokeashell - United States

Today, I was locked out of my house. After hours of trying to break the door, I found out I accidentally left a window open. The door, however, still needs to be replaced. FML

#10684466
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8223) - you deserved it (29358)

On 05/22/2010 at 3:56am - money - by TheComputerGuy96 (man) - Italy (Friuli-Venezia Giulia)

Today, I stopped at a yellow light. The guy behind me did not. He had no insurance. FML

#10549258
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33865) - you deserved it (6464)

On 05/15/2010 at 3:41pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I fell asleep and dreamed that I had won $500,000. In my dream, I used this money to buy a new MP3 Player, and then put the rest in a term deposit. Even in my dreams, I'm the most boring person I know. FML

#10448158
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30201) - you deserved it (7514)

On 05/10/2010 at 6:14am - money - by boring (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was pulled over by a cop and was fined $210 for making an illegal u-turn. When the cop finished writing my ticket and hopped in his car, he made the same u-turn. FML

#9770202
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42886) - you deserved it (6733)

On 04/10/2010 at 1:00am - money - by lance - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I called my dad at his new wife's house to inform him I was all set to graduate from community college with my associates degree and that we needed to sit down and plan how to pay for the 4 year degree. To which he replied "all a girl needs is an associates degree". Thanks dad. FML

#9182520
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27731) - you deserved it (4250)

On 03/18/2010 at 8:20am - money - by Anna (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I finally realized that the only time my mother talks to me is when she needs money. FML

#9177889
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29738) - you deserved it (2941)

On 03/18/2010 at 1:18am - money - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that when my parents offered to help me pay for college, what they really meant is they would get the forms for me to apply for student loans. FML

#9160744
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26126) - you deserved it (4438)

On 03/17/2010 at 3:03pm - money - by thanxguys (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got mugged. They wanted my phone and wallet. The most important thing in my wallet was my fully punched Smoothie King card. FML

#9100714
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24032) - you deserved it (3547)

On 03/15/2010 at 11:05am - money - by ashleeylynn - United States

Today, I was so excited to finally use my $45 gift card to a hair salon. I walk up to the doors to find them locked and to look inside to see that the salon was not only closed but out of business. FML

#9093072
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24027) - you deserved it (4432)

On 03/15/2010 at 12:51am - money - by Fridaythe12th (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I fell in a river with a £700 camera, a £200 lens, and an iPhone while trying to rescue a 50 pence ball for my dog. FML

#9069582
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15391) - you deserved it (28814)

On 03/14/2010 at 9:36am - money - by Rick (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I discovered my mom had sold all of our summer clothes over the winter on eBay because we're short on cash. However, I am allowed to cut off the sleeves of all my long sleeve shirts and the legs off my jeans to stay cool in the summer. Nothing's more attractive than looking trashy, right? FML

#9047777
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27640) - you deserved it (2759)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:16pm - money - by Nicole (woman) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Essa's illustrated FML
  • Yesterday was labor day in the US. FML is international, and and specifically US-centric, but we still sat around doing nothing because we'll take any excuse to do anything. We'll endorse any national…

Friday 1 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: