Date night

By feminist - 17/06/2009 15:25 - Canada

Today, I got into a heated argument at a restaurant with a guy I am seeing because he refused to let me pay for the bill and I thought it was sexist. When he finally agreed, I gave the waiter my card, only to have him return a minute later telling me it was declined. FML
I agree, your life sucks 13 248
You deserved it 77 659

Same thing different taste

Top comments

organismal 0

girl, it's just polite, classy, traditional. get over yourself it's nothing to get in a heated argument about, either. come on, if you offer to pay half and he declines, accept graciously. it makes you seem like less of a bitch.

britches 0

Wow...there's really no need to get into a heated argument about it.

Comments

dragongirlnat 0

Wow, I am torn on this one. I totally understand wanting to pay the bill but you should really make sure your card is valid before doing something like that. Otherwise, the guy will probably just laugh in your face.

MasterModeraor 0

ummm shouldnt you b happy that he's making a kind gesture to pay the bill for you? he probably likes you. but now u blew it. YDI for scaring the hell out of a nice guy when he was jsut trying to b kind and considerate. im a girl btw.... i just dont get y you find it sexist for a guy trying to be nice... chill out seriously

jnic 0

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realggirl 0

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realggirl 0

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Probably because in the end it makes you look like a broke ass asshole. You can fight schematics if you want but in the end she/he couldn't pay and they got in a heated argument about paying. It really is a YDI regardless of the sex of the OP since in the end they looked like a fool that they "could" pay and in actuality they couldn't pay. Plus I don't understand how it's sexist to pay for a meal. I mean one hand scratches the other and it should be a two-way street. IF the guy always paid then I can understand but sometimes us guys like to take care of our ladies as it's a nice gesture. Doesn't seem sexist to me unless you believe it is because then you think it's a sexist thing. Problem is that's the opinion of the OP and really shows the OPs character regardless of the outcome.

Of course I'd hit it if it were reverse. If someone offers to pay, it's fine to offer to pay yourself, but to get into an argument over it? That's ******* rude. Especially since you can't afford it.

No, I would have clicked FYL if it were reversed because the guy wouldn't be pulling the gender card on everything and pulling women's rights and social status and what not into a simple custom of the guy being the gentleman. You know, guys usually are supposed to pay the bill, especially on dates.

elara15 0

Who says guys are "usually suppose to pay the bill"? Isn't that sexist to MEN? Originally it was assumed a woman wasn't career-minded and financially secure enough to pay her own way, and to insinuate that she could not only pay for herself but her male partner was an insult or threat to him in the role of a provider. "Being a gentleman" has a loaded history behind it. Heck, there are still men who won't walk through a door if I'm holding it open for them, which is just a courtesy! What benefit is there to arbitrarily assigning genders to these rigid roles?

"Probably because in the end it makes you look like a broke ass asshole. You can fight schematics if you want but in the end she/he couldn't pay and they got in a heated argument about paying." Fighting schematics sounds dangerous! Watch out for paper cuts :o

not all feminists are like this, i'm one of the feminists who believe in the original goals: "gender equality", i can't stand women-haters as well as man-hating feminists. we should all be treated with the same respect. if a woman wants to attempt .. mowing the lawn for example, let her, see if she's capable. same thing with guys, a guy can cook and clean if can and wants to. we're built differently but our interests and goals shouldn't defined by our genders. we should all be respected equally and by the way, this lady is stupid and a horrible example for the rest of us x[

britches 0

Wow...there's really no need to get into a heated argument about it.

I second that motion, #2... OP: Relax and try to remove your uber feminist head out of your bum - the guy was trying to be polite. You could have at least let him pay this time and get the bill the next time, but instead you had to create an awkward situation for the guy, make yourself look like an idiot, and embarrass the rest of the female population with you. Equal rights doesn't give you the right to be rude and obnoxious when someone is trying to be nice, regardless of the presence or absence of a penis.

I agree with you Vitamin C. The OP was out of line but at least she isn't like some feminists who believe equal rights means they should still be treated to everything for free. I think women should pick up the tab once in a while and at least the OP made an effort to do so.

I agree with these guys. OP, you're and idiot. It clearly seems like you don't have the money, so why even bother? Sure, it may be some kind of ego-trip, but what is wrong with a bit of self-centred generosity? Are you the type of woman who doesn't let a man open the door before them? I had to double-check. Are you sure you're from Canada and not a bit further south?

agreed. i'm a female and extreme feminists (somewhat like the OP) really annoy me. YDI.

elara15 0

To be fair... apparently the guy was arguing about it too. We just didn't hear his side. Isn't it just as dumb for him not to let someone pay for their own meal?

You're an idiot. Get out of my country.

Originality18 0

Jesus that's SOOOOO sexist. You're only saying that because she's a WOMAN! XDDD

as a guy, its always best to offer to pay, but if the girl really wants to pay, just let her. it will save you a few dollars.

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that was an exteremly rude comment #5 Apparantly you still live in the 60s where only men had jobs and the women looked after the house and the kids and whatnot. Roles are changing today. Both women and men are allowed to work and do whatever. As what Jesus thought and said that Everyone is Equal. Everyone IS equal. FYL OP. But you should also know that your card was invalid before deciding to pay for the bill.

Oh goodness, they have pos/neg votes now, too??? This place is just about on youtube level now... This guy has a point, though... unless it was agreed on beforehand (who does that??) NEITHER side should get all gung-ho about paying.

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Night22_fml 4

Uh, Hillary Clinton ran for office last year. How much of a shit-stick can you be? This is 2009, women have jobs as much as men do, my mom works with my dad in the same place, that's not against the law. Next, I suppose you'll be saying black people suck. **** you asshole.

Cittenscollar 0

43 - You're an idiot for not realizing that this was a joke :)

you are calling me an idiot. there are other people out there who said just pretty much the extact same thing I said. so dont go calling me an idiot. k thanks. just to let you know im actually VERY smart. im a year ahead in school and Im doing exteremly well. so shut thefuck up about how idiotic i am.

Its Janderson's evil nemesis.....the highly chauvinistic super male lol Take that feminazi's OP: Why oh why would you find it sexist for the guy to offer to pay the bill? Do you also find it sexist for a guy to hold the door open for you? Let him pay, its no biggie plus you get to keep your money for things you want. YDI for making it that epic and then not even being able to pay. Open mouth insert foot.

elara15 0

You're right, but you also have a limited understanding of history. Otherwise women were never accomplished scientists and writers before the 20th century in America, oh no ma'am!

organismal 0

girl, it's just polite, classy, traditional. get over yourself it's nothing to get in a heated argument about, either. come on, if you offer to pay half and he declines, accept graciously. it makes you seem like less of a bitch.

organismal 0

girl, it's just polite, classy, traditional. get over yourself it's nothing to get in a heated argument about, either. come on, if you offer to pay half and he declines, accept graciously. it makes you seem like less of a bitch.

Let me guess: one of your arguing points was something like 'women can be financially independent and keep track of their own expenses'. How ironic. You deserve every second of embarrassment and laughter that you got for that.

Thank god there is still someone intelligent left out there. I completely agree with you, although as a guy i'm sure my opinion about the subject matters a lot less but c'est la vie. If he wanted to pay for the bill because you were a woman and surely don't have any money because you spend all day in the kitchen, then yes that's sexist. But wanting to pay because he's a nice guy and it's a tradition that most guys still follow is quite possibly as far from sexist as you can get. YDI x99999999999

Sometimes it's nicer to let the guy pay, especially if he insists...it's not really sexist. But you should come to some agreement with the person about these situations. My boyfriend and I pay for ourselves if we're going somewhere casual; otherwise if he's the one who wants to take me out, he pays, if I want to take him out, I pay. It works out pretty well. It's really not worth making a public scene about though, if I were him I'd probably keep my distance.