This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Bitter Wife - 19/07/2016 23:37 - Canada - Calgary

Today, my husband decided to sell my car, which is in excellent working condition. Why? He decided to buy a new one without asking me. He spends every spare second pampering the new vehicle and buying accessories for it. Of course, now he's complaining we don't have enough money for bills. FML
I agree, your life sucks 539
You deserved it 34

Top comments

Your husband, bluntly put, sounds like an asshole. Let's see... 1) Sold your vehicle without your permission. 2) Bought a second vehicle (likely with high payments) without your permission. 3)Buys unneeded accessories and equipment for the car. 4) Complains about not having more money to be idiotic with, likely hoping that you will spend more hours at work. You can sit him down and talk to him about it yourself, drag him to a marriage mediator appointment, drag him to a psychiatrist (he seems to be exhibiting behavior similar to a manic episode), and if none of that works- or hasn't worked in the past- divorce is an option. You could also take complete control of the finances, possibly- make him give you his paycheck, take yours, put them in an account only you have access to. Pay bills from only that account, and then he gets a portion of whatever is left after all bills as an allowance. He definitely doesn't sound like he needs to be the financial manager of the household, at least.

You mean withholding money like Op's husband is implied to have done, by selling their car and buying one for himself, and then making unsubtle "we don't have money because I spent it, so you should work more" hints? Or were you somehow blind to the implication that OP's husband sold her property, and then used their JOINT finances to buy something for HIMSELF, without consulting her, thus essentially stealing not only her car, but her finances? Gee, that sounds an awful lot like financial abuse, according to you. What I proposed was one of the most common methods of money management when one partner is bipolar or has dangerous spending habits. Yes, one partner control the BULK of the money- the more frugal partner is the only one with access to that account. They pay the bills before ANYTHING else is done. Money that is left over is, ideally, split three ways- partner 1, partner 2, and joint savings. The ratio depends- ideally each partner would get an allowance adjusted to their input. That amount is, ideally ALL that that person gets for personal entertainment for the pay period- but if something comes up and the partner without access to the savings account needs it or more money, they discuss it with the partner that DOES have access. Handing his checks over doesn't even have to be an "until the end" thing. Ideally, having less access to money will make him more cautious when spending. If he improved, he could get control back, as long as he didn't go back to buying junk and then complaining about not having any money. Calling this practice to financial abuse- especially in regards to this case, where the husband has already shown that he think he can do whatever with OP's property and money- is rather insulting to anyone who has been through it.

Comments

Your husband, bluntly put, sounds like an asshole. Let's see... 1) Sold your vehicle without your permission. 2) Bought a second vehicle (likely with high payments) without your permission. 3)Buys unneeded accessories and equipment for the car. 4) Complains about not having more money to be idiotic with, likely hoping that you will spend more hours at work. You can sit him down and talk to him about it yourself, drag him to a marriage mediator appointment, drag him to a psychiatrist (he seems to be exhibiting behavior similar to a manic episode), and if none of that works- or hasn't worked in the past- divorce is an option. You could also take complete control of the finances, possibly- make him give you his paycheck, take yours, put them in an account only you have access to. Pay bills from only that account, and then he gets a portion of whatever is left after all bills as an allowance. He definitely doesn't sound like he needs to be the financial manager of the household, at least.

You do realise that taking and controlling his paycheque can be considered as domestic abuse through financial abuse?

You mean withholding money like Op's husband is implied to have done, by selling their car and buying one for himself, and then making unsubtle "we don't have money because I spent it, so you should work more" hints? Or were you somehow blind to the implication that OP's husband sold her property, and then used their JOINT finances to buy something for HIMSELF, without consulting her, thus essentially stealing not only her car, but her finances? Gee, that sounds an awful lot like financial abuse, according to you. What I proposed was one of the most common methods of money management when one partner is bipolar or has dangerous spending habits. Yes, one partner control the BULK of the money- the more frugal partner is the only one with access to that account. They pay the bills before ANYTHING else is done. Money that is left over is, ideally, split three ways- partner 1, partner 2, and joint savings. The ratio depends- ideally each partner would get an allowance adjusted to their input. That amount is, ideally ALL that that person gets for personal entertainment for the pay period- but if something comes up and the partner without access to the savings account needs it or more money, they discuss it with the partner that DOES have access. Handing his checks over doesn't even have to be an "until the end" thing. Ideally, having less access to money will make him more cautious when spending. If he improved, he could get control back, as long as he didn't go back to buying junk and then complaining about not having any money. Calling this practice to financial abuse- especially in regards to this case, where the husband has already shown that he think he can do whatever with OP's property and money- is rather insulting to anyone who has been through it.

I was not by any means supporting the Husband. Yes, he was an ass for his actions and not considering his wife. But he wasn't 'withholding' money, he just spent it without a second thought for the implications. Also, that's the most common method? I tend to believe that the more common method is depositing a set amount each into a joint checking account every paycheque. The idea of the whole allowance deal is pathetic and gives someone way too much control over someone else. OP's husband is a moron, not a child to teach. Although he does need to learn to be responsible with money if he's normally like this.

That was a childish asinine move to pull. Like what the hell, who does that?!!