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By DoubleTrouble - / Tuesday 16 October 2018 17:30 / India
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Today, my boss gave our coffee machine to her sister-in-law. I work in a cafe. FML

By H.B - / Sunday 14 October 2018 17:30 / Germany
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Today, I met a really sweet cute guy on a dinner date. Too bad he was the waiter instead of my date. FML

By right date wrong guy - / Sunday 14 October 2018 15:30 / Norway - Oslo
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By ClumsyDumbsy - / Saturday 13 October 2018 23:00 / Australia
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By Anthony - / Saturday 13 October 2018 23:00 / Russian Federation - Saint Petersburg
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By rejected Lonely heart - / Friday 12 October 2018 04:00 / United Kingdom - Edinburgh
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Today, a lady on the subway sat next to me. She kept huffing and burping and was holding a plastic bag. I couldn't even finish the thought, "please don't puke on me" because she puked on me. FML

By 1DisGR8 - / Wednesday 10 October 2018 07:30 / Canada - Toronto
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By ButILiveHere - / Wednesday 10 October 2018 03:00 / Netherlands - Voerendaal
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By Aussie girl - / Tuesday 9 October 2018 15:30 / Australia
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By Lisa - / Wednesday 3 October 2018 23:00 / Romania
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Today, I flew cross-country. Since the movers with my furniture and car won't arrive for 2 weeks, I packed several bags with most of my clothes and charging cords. The airline lost them. FML

By screwedflyer - / Wednesday 3 October 2018 14:00 / Czech Republic - Prague
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By Anonymous - / Saturday 29 September 2018 22:00 / Denmark
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Today, I found out that a supervisor at work was rude to two brides, resulting in 30k being refunded. Instead of her losing her job, I now have to take over weddings on top of my already full workload. FML

By Salesadmin - / Friday 28 September 2018 20:00 / Australia - Brisbane
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Today, I finally sought help for my alcoholism. They told me they wouldn't help me until I'd stopped drinking. Um... what? FML

By Anonymous - / Wednesday 26 September 2018 16:30 / United Kingdom - London
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By Birthdaygirl30 - / Wednesday 26 September 2018 14:00 / Netherlands - Oegstgeest
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Today, I only discovered that a wasp was caught in the crotch of my undies when I put them on. It didn't like being teabagged very much and in retaliation stung the nearest target, my nuts. FML

By Anonymous - / Tuesday 25 September 2018 16:00 / Australia
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Today, I couldn't get out of bed due to severe morning sickness. I have to lay still and I can only hold in some tiny crackers. It's the second day of our two-week holiday in Turkey. FML

By Snowy - / Saturday 22 September 2018 06:00 / Turkey
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By swag huh? - / Saturday 22 September 2018 04:00 / Philippines - Para?aque
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Today, my landlady gave me exactly one day to move out. I'm not even in the country. FML

By Sunflare - / Friday 21 September 2018 17:30 / Netherlands - Holten
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By labcho - / Thursday 20 September 2018 21:00 / Canada - Ottawa
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By Karls - / Wednesday 19 September 2018 09:30 / Australia
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By ouchy - / Saturday 15 September 2018 13:30 / New Zealand - Nelson
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By Embarrassed - / Friday 14 September 2018 00:00 / Canada - Whitby
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Today, I was cleaning out my little sister's bedroom as she moved out and left a huge mess. I found her wearable vibrator. FML

By Anonymous - / Thursday 13 September 2018 00:00 / Canada - Ottawa
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By Lindora - / Tuesday 11 September 2018 19:30 / Canada - Richmond Hill
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By lunarclaws - / Tuesday 11 September 2018 06:00 / Netherlands - Brielle
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Today, my girlfriend finally came over to watch a movie with me after weeks of being really busy. As a treat she brought chocolate cookies, which she knows I can't eat. I am allergic to chocolate. FML

By Chocolatehater - / Saturday 8 September 2018 18:30 / Netherlands - Wageningen
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By brokeandalone - / Saturday 8 September 2018 03:30 / Macedonia - Skopje
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Today, I tried to repay a friend's kindness by taking her visiting brother out for lunch while she was at work. He must have misread my friendliness, as he ended up following me home. I had to call the cops. FML

By stopfollowingmemeansstopfollowingme - / Saturday 8 September 2018 04:30 / Australia - Matraville
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Today, we had an assembly with my entire grade to elect the graduation committee. When I got up to get nominated for the yearbook team, I stumbled and face-planted on stage. In front of 89 people. FML

By Sound - / Thursday 6 September 2018 18:30 / Germany
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