Today, I was babysitting for a friend who develops software. After the baby was asleep, I was watching anime on my iPad. Turns out he created an app that alerts his phone whenever potential adult content streams through his internet. It was just an anime, but he's convinced I was watching porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Katz - / Sunday 11 November 2018 14:00 /

World

Canada

Today, I accidentally opened my dad's sex tape. For the second time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By traumatized - / Saturday 10 November 2018 21:00 / Canada - Joliette

Today, I got a blue screen of death on my brand new computer. Why? My parents installed an "anti-virus" before I got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By lel - / Tuesday 6 November 2018 13:30 /

Today, my dentist said I have a good tongue. That's the best compliment I've gotten in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By thanks..? - / Saturday 3 November 2018 17:30 /

Today, it's Halloween. I get bullied every day and this was no exception, but this time I got beat up so hard I bled. Everyone thought it was part of my costume. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Heggs - / Wednesday 31 October 2018 17:30 /

Today, my little sister got into my anime DVDs, probably thinking they were cartoons. She watched High School DXD, which isn't the best anime for a 6-year-old. Now she wants to be the Breast Dragon Emperor for Halloween and Dad is threatening to set fire to my entire collection. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Juggernaut Drive - / Wednesday 31 October 2018 05:00 /

World

Portugal

Today, at a job interview, I was asked what I dislike the most, to which I blurted out "people". I don't think I'm landing this one. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Lubitueh - / Friday 19 October 2018 02:00 / Portugal - Carnaxide

Today, while dropping my son off at the bus stop before school, I went to give him a kiss on the cheek. Then, before I was able to make contact, he jumped away, yelled "PSYCH!!!!" as loud as he could, and jumped on the bus. The kids all laughed at me and the other parents looked embarrassed for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By anerdmom - / Thursday 18 October 2018 14:00 /

Today, I was wrapping up a 30+ hour commission when a software bug caused my main layer to delete itself. There doesn't appear to be any way I can restore it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By dustlander.com - / Tuesday 16 October 2018 07:30 / United States - Provo

Today, I was working on my laptop when the screen suddenly turned red. I was shocked since it's not that old, but my insurance just expired. On my way to the service I was thinking, "At least my car works!" Well... A few hours later, my car broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Murphy's law - / Saturday 13 October 2018 13:30 /

Today, I went searching for my old school laptop only to find that my stepdad had swiped it and given it to his mother. My sex tapes and nudes are on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Oh no - / Saturday 13 October 2018 03:00 /

Today, my boss yelled at me for having Facebook open at work. That's fine, I closed it and continued on with my work. In a meeting later on I could see the reflection of my boss's laptop screen in a mirror behind her desk. For two hours, I watched her scroll through her Facebook feed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Double Standard - / Friday 12 October 2018 08:30 / United States - Menasha

Today, at 3am, my boyfriend's phone notifications kept going off. I attempted to wake him up, but he didn't budge. When I went to silence it, I saw his Ashley Madison notification, followed by Tinder, Zoosk, and Plenty of Fish. We've been monogamous over a year... or so I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By - / Tuesday 2 October 2018 03:00 /

Today, I sat in the bathroom on my phone to rub one out after a long day. Wanting to hear the action, I upped the volume until the sound was low enough for me to hear, despite the volume being near max. I continued until I realized my phone was connected to my headset outside near my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Bluetooth Connection - / Monday 1 October 2018 03:00 /

Today, I was hungover and had to run to put the rubbish out for the bin lorry, only I was so hungover I forgot I was only wearing an open dressing gown and no underwear. A few neighbours and passing cars got to see me swinging in the breeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Sunday 30 September 2018 12:00 /

Today, after months of hurtful and derogatory remarks from matches, I had to add the line "Not trans, just ugly." to my Tinder bio. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Single forever I guess - / Sunday 30 September 2018 05:00 /

World

Denmark

Today, I had a one night stand. While lying next to him afterwards, he nervously said, "Listen, I, uh... I bought this when I was drunk." I wasn't really sure what he referred to until I realized: the bed sheets. The Twilight bed sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Saturday 29 September 2018 22:00 / Denmark

Today, I found out about my parent's divorce over Facebook from my sister who lives 8 hours away in another province. They made the decision 3 weeks ago. I live with my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By hunterchik - / Saturday 29 September 2018 15:30 /

Today, my crush finally asked me to homecoming. I told my best friend, thinking she would be happy for me. Now we are in a big argument and she won't talk to me because I have a date and she doesn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By geekyteendisaster - / Tuesday 25 September 2018 07:30 / United States - Littleton

Today, I replaced the battery in a closet’s electronic keypad door lock, and I accidentally locked myself inside. My family was traveling, so I had to call a neighbor. He got me out, but took pictures and posted to social media. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Scooter - / Tuesday 25 September 2018 05:00 /

Today, I was on my Wheel of Time fanfiction roleplay chatting seductively with my virtual lover while taking a break from doing some work, only to realize that I had accidentally sent the revenue report to my fellow fanfiction lover and used magic to undress my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Helena - / Tuesday 25 September 2018 03:00 /

Today, I accidentally sent a nude to my girlfriend's father. He screenshotted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By BriSwag4321 - / Friday 21 September 2018 05:00 /

Today, my fancy rubber phone case did its job and saved my phone from damage when I dropped it on the bathroom counter. Unfortunately, it was rather useless after the massive bounce it took before landing in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Tuesday 18 September 2018 22:10 /

Today, my neighbour's kitten got run over, so I bought her chocolate as comfort food. When I gave it to her she joked, "Now I'm going to get fat." It was at that moment that my brain stepped out and my mouth took over and I heard myself say, "You deserve it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Saturday 15 September 2018 13:00 /

Today, my dad demanded that I break up with my cheating boyfriend. With that revelation, I did some investigating on my own. The other woman is apparently my boyfriend's "cute little" Marshadow that slaughtered my dad's "godlike" Incineroar in a 3DS battle they had. FML

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You deserved it

By Daughter of a Dork - / Friday 14 September 2018 17:30 / United States - New York

Today, I was watching anime in my room when my mom walked in with fresh laundry. It would've been fine at literally any other moment, but the scene on at the time involved girls groping each other in a hot spring. Now she's accusing me of being in cartoon porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Friday 14 September 2018 09:00 / United States - Bellerose

World

Netherlands

Today, I discovered my boyfriend enjoys anime, just like me. I discovered this when he said he wanted me to imitate and dress up as an underage character from his favourite anime next time we have sex. When I refused, he got upset and said he thought I would understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By lunarclaws - / Tuesday 11 September 2018 06:00 / Netherlands - Brielle

Time to move out!

Today, my mother took my brand new PS4, which I haven't even played yet, and threw it out the window while I was at work. When I asked her why, she said she was mad that we didn't have any paper towels left. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By tsunami - / Monday 10 September 2018 03:30 /

Today, after being told my cellphone was under warranty and would be repaired for free, Samsung received my device, changed their minds, and charged me $636.96 to return my device to me. That's more than the device costs new at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Bam - / Sunday 9 September 2018 15:00 /

Today, while I was driving, Google said it found a faster route to save me 15 minutes. I hit accept, only be directed into a gridlock on the interstate, adding an hour to my drive time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By thanks google - / Tuesday 4 September 2018 16:30 / United States - Naperville

Game Ranking

End of game in

Zombie

#	Nickname	Bites
1	whatshername?!	71
2	im365sostressed	7
3	CaseyR	4
4	Mestinyalicea	0
5	shlayshlay	0
6	DJDembow2009	0
7	ccinok	0
8	uhoh	0
9	2shack	0
10	Sealey_fml	0

vampire

#	Nickname	Bites
1	newbiemalestr8	1465
2	BadAtPuns	1107
3	Ashamed_Sister	364
4	abigiggles	220
5	hellsingthecreator93	183
6	Dave_Davington	134
7	EclipticaLibra	117
8	Vaella	81
9	Callyn	45
10	xsandra	45

werewolf

#	Nickname	Bites
1	Taurus_ChicKa	50
2	thisisbutaname	23
3	RebeccaMcQ	0
4	kortnie	0
5	ahmad450	0
6	mightyboy	0
7	captinfail	0
8	Danipai	0
9	xx_riottttt	0
10	dancinfool524	0

FML

Nearly

Today despite my protests and warnings, my mother in law decided to chemically straighten my bi-racial daughter’s very curly hair. Hours later not only...

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

Today, my girlfriend kept texting me while I was at work, insisting for hours that I leave early because she was so horny. After arguing with my boss and...

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

See all the Nearly FMLs

World

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Canada

Today, we left the cat alone all day for the first time in months, and came back home 11.5 hours later to three enormous puddles of vomit. We then spent...

Canada

Today, I accidentally opened my dad's sex tape. For the second time. FML

See all the World FMLs

Photos

See all FML photos

Spicy

Today, I jacked off in the shower using soap with scrubbing beads in it. My penis is so chaffed, it hurts to put on pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

Today, my girlfriend sent me a video of herself masturbating so I could watch it on my business trip. As I was watching it, I realised someone was filming...

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

See all the Spicy FMLs