By Crushed - 9/12/2018 12:30
Today, I finally got past my anxiety and confessed my feelings to the guy I like and have been intimate with. He responded that he just still wants to be close friends with me and still bang me monogamously but with no relationship... FML
Add a comment
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Create my account Sign in
Top comments
By  sunnyray812  |  42

Just so you know, when he said that he wants to bang monogamously but with no relationship, it really means he wants YOU to be monogamous for him while he secretly gets with other girls and tells them he's not in a relationship. This happened when my sister's ex broke up with her. He wanted the exact same thing, so she agreed since she was in love with him. She later found out that he was banging two other girls (one of them being another ex that my sister was insecure about) while he forbid her from even having guy friends. Then he had the nerve to say, "Well, we aren't in a relationship." In other words, the rules only apply to the girl and not him. Don't do it, OP! It's just a trap!

Comments
By  sunnyray812  |  42

Just so you know, when he said that he wants to bang monogamously but with no relationship, it really means he wants YOU to be monogamous for him while he secretly gets with other girls and tells them he's not in a relationship. This happened when my sister's ex broke up with her. He wanted the exact same thing, so she agreed since she was in love with him. She later found out that he was banging two other girls (one of them being another ex that my sister was insecure about) while he forbid her from even having guy friends. Then he had the nerve to say, "Well, we aren't in a relationship." In other words, the rules only apply to the girl and not him. Don't do it, OP! It's just a trap!

By  RichardPencil  |  27

It’s guys like him who worsen your anxiety, not ease it. I know everyone is going to give you the obvious advice to dump him and move on. If that is possible, great, do it and don’t look back.

Sadly, I’ve been in a similar place to where you are, and think you are probably stuck. Because your feelings are strong, you are stuck with him until he throws you away or you eventually give up on unrequited love. Try to find happiness in the other parts of your life until this disaster passes.

Reply
  peithecelt  |  23

it's hard, but feelings should be over ridden when it is so obviously a disaster waiting to happen. feel deep, but let your brain make decisions, not your heart. walking away sucks, but won't hurt anywhere near as much as staying!

Reply
  RichardPencil  |  27

It's easier said than done.

This is why advising people is so sad and frustrating. Even though the right course is obvious (even to the victim), you are helpless to just sit there and watch the train wreck occur in slow motion.

Reply
  Rabite  |  28

Although I generally agree it's not as if she doesn't get anything out of the sex (well at least I hope so). So not everyone is a fuck doll just because they bang someone and have feelings for them, which are not mutual.

By  silentbabydeer  |  8

Well at least he was honest with you that he doesn’t want to be in relationship but wants to remain friends with benefits. The worst thing he can do is string you along and break your heart later.

By  Rabite  |  28

There is nothing wrong with just being friends with benefits, but monogamously? Either he is really a commitment phobe and only wants to choose the good parts of a relationship or as others said he only wants you to be monogamous and screw other people.

By  LennyComa  |  39

Stop banging him, get drunk with your mates, mourn the situation, when you feel ready move on. Don't waste time with that dude when there is someone out there that will want to be with you 100% and you will feel the same and forget this douchebags voice and his name will just be a footnote

By  Paul B. Gyurcsanszky  |  14

Yeah, you’re the side chick

By  Phil  |  13

I know exactly what you're going through. I thought I was in love with a guy(at the time I was),and he was the same way. We only got intimate on his terms, I wasn't allowed to make the first move; and I also wasn't allowed to see other men.
Finally I came to the realization that I could do better. I finally found the courage to kick him to the curb. I was both the hardest, and best thing I ever did to that point.
It will take a long time for me to ever give my heart to any guy because of the damage he did(and that I allowed him to do). But I am getting over him; and I'm much happier without him in my life.