Kids and Health: Today, it's 3:42am and my son is crying because I won't let him... - FML

By Angela17 - 24/10/2018 05:00

Today, it's 3:42am and my son is crying because I won't let him play with his dirty diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 941

You deserved it 324

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By Kymberly Hams - 09/04/2019 10:00 - Australia

Today, my toddler was supposed to be taking a nap. Instead, he decided it was the perfect time to remove his own nappy for the first time ever. He painted his walls, floor, bed and body, then started crying because he was dirty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 045

You deserved it 338

That's not a child, that's a bio-hazard!

By Anonymous - 08/01/2018 09:00 - United States - Thomasville

Today, I took a shower while my two-year-old slept. In the 30 minutes it took me to shower, get dressed, and go back to his room, he had woken up, taken his pants and diaper off, and smears crap all over himself and his bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 774

You deserved it 810

By KayyElOh94 - 17/10/2014 22:30 - United States

Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 713

You deserved it 3 803

How sweet

By Birdman - 23/06/2018 15:00

Today, my 3-year-old fell asleep in our bed while cuddling me, and I let him stay since he was being so sweet. In the middle of the night, he took off his pants and pissed all over my head and back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 721

You deserved it 786

By finalyearsofhate - 13/03/2017 22:00

Today, my son took a nap quietly for the first time ever. As I went to wake him up, I realized why. A previously poop-filled diaper came flying at me when I opened the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 294

You deserved it 546

By Eringobrag88 - 27/06/2011 16:08 - United States

Today, I woke up to my two year old crawling in bed with me and saying, "I poop". Normally this would be ok, but this morning she decided she didn't need a diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 270

You deserved it 4 011

By facepalm - 02/05/2019 00:00

Today, my son won’t stop crying, all because I told him he couldn’t go trick-or-treating in April. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 863

You deserved it 243

Why now?

By Anonymous - 14/10/2023 15:00 - United States - Lufkin

Today, it took me 2 hours to get my toddler to sleep. Just after I got him down, my mom woke him up by banging my pots and pans around in the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 120

By Anonymous - 27/03/2013 08:00 - United States - Temecula

Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 963

You deserved it 5 996

By Anonymous - 17/04/2017 08:00 - Australia - Moonee Ponds

Today, my 3-year-old missed the toilet. In the time it took me to get paper towel to clean it up, my one-year-old decided it was the perfect puddle to play in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 181

You deserved it 597

Next

Top comments

BurnInDemonFire 33

Thursday 11 October 2018 4:55

Give him a clean one to play with, and tell him the poop is invisible. Kids are stupid enough to fall for that.

whiskey'swino 15

Wednesday 24 October 2018 6:17

Annnnd that's birth control for me, thanks OP!!

Comments

BurnInDemonFire 33

Thursday 11 October 2018 4:55

Give him a clean one to play with, and tell him the poop is invisible. Kids are stupid enough to fall for that.

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 24 October 2018 5:49

Plot twist: He’s 27.

whiskey'swino 15

Wednesday 24 October 2018 6:17

Annnnd that's birth control for me, thanks OP!!

skippydoda 32

Wednesday 24 October 2018 7:00

My son has cried because he can't play with his penis, a plastic bag, garbage, the kitty. You name it he's probably cried about it.

kirby1964 20

Wednesday 24 October 2018 7:23

Probably has a room full of toys, and what does he want to play with? Hehe

mike3775 35

Wednesday 24 October 2018 13:13

My kids cried because I wouldn’t let them play with an empty pill bottle, a piece of paper, a coaster, their penis, a blanket, a light switch, etc. Everything is a toy to a baby, and they will cry if they can’t play with it.

LadyRen 20

Wednesday 24 October 2018 15:27

Kids: why I don’t want them

anon430 20

Thursday 25 October 2018 6:15

So this wasn't' in the "having kids brochure" you received?

Stephanie Claire 12

Thursday 25 October 2018 14:27

I’m glad I won’t be having kids

believekimber 8

Friday 26 October 2018 1:11

This is only the beginning...

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The Top

Today, the coworker I have been hitting it off with rejected me. Apparently she has a crush on another male employee. An employee who is married and somehow has three other girls in our store actually fighting over him (I've heard arguments). She thinks she has a chance? FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 178

Today, I found out my dentist is retiring. This wouldn't be that big of a deal except that if we want to transfer our dental records to a new dentist we have to do it before he retires and there's a $30 processing fee per person. Three of us use that dentist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 78

The Top

Today, my mum had no legitimate reason to have her daily yell at me, so she resorted to bitching me out for putting her phone on charge after it started beeping with a low battery warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 272

You deserved it 1 474

Today, like always, my parents are such tightwads that they refused to turn the heating system on, despite the ball-freezing temperatures. I was so cold, I had to resort to warming my hands up over the toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 187

You deserved it 3 705

Today, and since being diagnosed with bowel cancer, I realised I’ve been unintentionally limiting the places I go to, like shops and restaurants, based solely on the quality of their toilet paper. Not really complaining, I just thought it was kinda funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 104

You deserved it 107

Today, I discovered my boyfriend is incredibly ticklish on the bottom of his feet. Trying to be a bit flirty, I slowly slid two fingers down his calf and mockingly tickled his feet. He reacted by inadvertently elbowing me in the nose, nearly breaking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 873

You deserved it 43 583

Today, my boyfriend of two years told me that I had grown on him. I thought it was cute, until he added, "like a flesh eating bacteria". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 425

You deserved it 265

Today, I got stung by a bee. On my eyelid. I'm allergic so it's swollen up so much, I can't even open my eye. Tomorrow is the first day of a new prestigious school. I either have to go to school wearing an eye-patch or walk around looking like a monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 827

You deserved it 3 325