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Today, I borrowed my friend's truck to move. After unloading everything, I worked up a killer appetite and went to a drive thru. I found some Germ X in the truck, so I could eat on the way home... or so I thought. It turned out to be anal lube. I covered my hands in it. FML

By Why Me - / Wednesday 15 August 2018 04:00 /
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By  Mungolikecandy  |  16

Your friend seems to have a fun time driving.

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Today, I found out that whenever my ex-wife is late getting the kids to school, she tells them to tell their teachers they were with me, and forges my name on the sign-in sheet. Missing homework? Dad's house. Forgot to bring something important? Ditto. The school thinks I'm a horrible parent. FML

By OvertonHippie / Monday 13 January 2014 12:09 / United States - Corinth
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