Today, as I was laying on the bottom part of my bunk bed, I noticed a beam on the underside of the top bunk that seemed to have no place being there, so I tried to find out what it was. I soon discovered it was to support the bed after it promptly collapsed on me. FML

by CallmeTokey / 07/11/2016 at 11:21pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom called me for dinner by saying, "We're going to eat Steph! I mean we're going to eat COMMA Steph! We're not going to eat you! Ha ha!" She thinks this joke is hilarious and has been doing it to both my dad and me every night since early June. FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2016 at 5:02pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom hadn't talked to me for 5 days, so worried sick I called my grandpa. She's been in jail, and no one cared to inform me. Great. FML

by abygalee / 07/10/2016 at 4:42pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to find some really weird stuff in my bed. We just got back from vacation in Florida, and my husband burned really bad. I woke up to his peeled off skin all over my face. FML

by Dlpnlvr85 / 07/10/2016 at 2:43pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, a girl on my Snapchat list posted a story asking for anybody who was awake to talk to her. Me being awake, I took her up on the request. Her response? "Sorry I didn't mean you." FML

by snowmon06 / 07/10/2016 at 12:13am / Miscellaneous

Today, I dyed my hair for the first time. It turned out great, and I couldn't wait to show it off during my night out with my friends. Everyone was so shocked or disgusted, I ended up claiming I lost a bet. FML

by Anonymous / 07/09/2016 at 12:29pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the lake with my family. I was drinking from a can of soda but didn't realize a bee flew into the can. I didn't swallow it, but I now have Kylie Jenner's lips. FML

by wantedphantom / 07/08/2016 at 10:26pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to stop by a drive-thru on the way to his place. I asked him to order a Coke for me, at which point he asked if I wanted to make it a Diet Coke. FML

by goldendarkness / 07/08/2016 at 9:34pm / Miscellaneous

Today, 5 months after doing a shoot for a stock photo site, someone finally used one of my photos. In an article about meth abuse. FML

by samaris / 07/08/2016 at 5:19pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister stole my bike and gave it to her boyfriend. When I told my parents, they said it was fine, because I wasn't using it anyway. The reason I wasn't using it was because it needed a new tire, and I was saving up for one. FML

by mu5icadd1ct / 07/08/2016 at 9:22am / Miscellaneous

Today, while taking out the trash late at night with my mom, a group of people drove by and decided it would be funny to turn around and chase us up the driveway in their car. Before I even realized what was happening, my mom was already halfway to the house yelling back, "You're on your own!" FML

by ThanksMom / 07/08/2016 at 3:54am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my favorite pizza place will no longer deliver to my area after dark because they've been robbed too many times. FML

by quackers / 07/08/2016 at 3:00am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving with my little brother when out of nowhere he yelled at me to stop. Thinking it was urgent, I slammed my breaks, almost getting rammed from behind. Why did he yell for me to stop? The Pokémon GO said there was a sparrow near us. FML

by PurplePanda_1927 / 07/07/2016 at 10:26pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.