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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, the babysitter not only clogged the toilet, they tried to unclog it with our vacuum cleaner hose. FML

#21418872
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26239) - you deserved it (1902)

On 05/31/2015 at 11:37pm - misc - by somebody (woman) - United States

Today, my phone got stolen at church. FML

#21418593
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28289) - you deserved it (3441)

On 05/31/2015 at 2:21pm - misc - by fffemaleee - United States (Michigan)

Today, the phone kept ringing so I picked it up and answered. When there was no response, it took a minute to realize that I was still in bed and talking to my hand. FML

#21418531
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24754) - you deserved it (4372)

On 05/31/2015 at 11:51am - misc - by Sleepy (woman) - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)

Today, I uploaded a photo of myself at the beach on Facebook. The first comment it got was "Wow!! If I was 20 yrs younger, oh boy ;)". Yeah, thanks for that, grandpa. FML

#21418445
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26579) - you deserved it (2440)

On 05/31/2015 at 5:13am - misc - by disgusting (woman) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, my hateful mother-in-law showed up unexpectedly. I faked taking a phone call so the bitter old hag would leave me alone. She then pulled out her phone, called my number, and glared at me as my phone rang against my ear. FML

#21418362
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25735) - you deserved it (11541)

On 05/31/2015 at 12:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was exhausted due to staying up all night practicing for the most important performance of my orchestral career. I decided to take a nap to energize myself in preparation of the evening and woke up just in time to realize I'd missed the entire concert. FML

Today, while driving home from work, I saw my boyfriend mugging a woman on the sidewalk. FML

#21417917
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32482) - you deserved it (2831)

On 05/30/2015 at 3:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my crazy neighbor screamed at me from her porch for walking "too close" to her plants. I was on the sidewalk. She sprayed me with her hose anyway. FML

#21417834
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27606) - you deserved it (1806)

On 05/29/2015 at 11:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I realized that a classmate and I have the same glasses. To prove it, I tried bending his glasses, since mine are flexible and can bend. I snapped his glasses in half. FML

#21417809
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12371) - you deserved it (35461)

On 05/29/2015 at 10:31pm - misc - by smartass - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to explain to my little sister that not all guitars are supposed to have a hole in them, that when I was talking about "breaking it in" I didn't mean I'd smash a hole in it, and that she shouldn't have taken a hammer to my expensive new guitar. FML

#21417642
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26443) - you deserved it (2412)

On 05/29/2015 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on the train going to work when my travel tea cup began spilling inside my purse, which was on my lap. It went all over my skirt, pooled at the bottom of my feet, and, yes, everyone notice that it happened to be piss-colored yellow. FML

#21417508
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25354) - you deserved it (3967)

On 05/29/2015 at 8:13am - misc - by Great (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned one of life's great lessons: it is possible to squeeze a Ketchup bottle so hard that the plastic breaks and everything lands on your face. FML

#21417490
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22760) - you deserved it (5577)

On 05/29/2015 at 6:58am - misc - by sassy_girl144 (woman) - United Kingdom (West Berkshire)

Today, I started my day off with a relaxing cup of coffee, the morning paper, and the sound of my mother informing me I will be going to hell for being not believing in God. FML

#21417394
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25939) - you deserved it (4758)

On 05/29/2015 at 12:16am - misc - by idonthavereligion (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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