Today, I discovered that my Dad's family very much supports Donald Trump. They tried to convince me to support his campaign by donating money. We're not even American. FML

by MakeDonaldDrumpfAgain / 03/30/2016 at 1:24am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, a friend was making fun of our teacher's car, calling it dorkmobile and saying only idiots would own that car. It's the same as the car I just bought. FML

by crap car / 03/29/2016 at 9:13pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, the guy I was seeing texted me a photo back of myself I had sent him earlier, saying I'm such a beautiful woman, suggesting that I set it as my profile pic. Too bad he doesn't think I'm pretty enough without a lot of enhancements, because he photoshopped the hell out of that thing. FML

by R_Horsefeet / 03/29/2016 at 7:10pm / Netherlands / Miscellaneous

Today, while riding my bike in the rain to a counselling appointment about my depression, my shoelace came untied and got caught around my pedal, causing me to go flying off my bike directly in a huge muddy puddle right in front of a busy street of people. No one offered to help me. FML

by anonymous / 03/29/2016 at 6:50pm / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, a stranger had a go at me for smoking while pregnant. I'm a guy. FML

by nerp / 03/29/2016 at 3:44pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my family and I were laying on my parents' bed watching a movie. My dad wrapped his arm around me and began rubbing my shoulder. That would have been fine, if it actually had been my shoulder and not my boob. Needless to say, we were both mortified. FML

by ScarredDaughter / 03/29/2016 at 1:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, the first words I heard from my "good, Christian" future mother-in-law included a salvo of curse words and a hushed rant about "them dirty Jews". I'm culturally Jewish. This bodes well. FML

by in this day and age.... / 03/27/2016 at 12:53pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my drunk dad told me I'm smart enough that any guy could overlook the fact that I'm fat, but not smart enough that they could overlook how ugly I am. Gee, thanks. FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2016 at 8:27am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom called me a slut after she found out I sleep naked. This is how desperate she is for any excuse to yell at me. FML

by yova / 03/27/2016 at 4:42am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm a barista at Starbucks. When my crush walked in and asked how much his coffee would cost, I said a date. He said he'd rather pay for the coffee. FML

by joanikens / 03/26/2016 at 3:02pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I brought my best painting yet to college. I showed it off and everyone loved it. Or almost everyone. When we came back from lunch break, we found someone had sharpied the words "JIZZ BUTT" all over it. That painting took two weeks to finish. FML

by Anonymous / 03/26/2016 at 1:51am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, the cockroach infestation at my house has gotten so bad that I can now tell the difference between male and female cockroaches. FML

by Anonymous / 03/25/2016 at 5:55pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mum visited. Even though I live under my own roof now, I caught her continuing her old habit of throwing out any clothes she thinks make me look "gay". FML

by yourclotheslookgay / 03/25/2016 at 12:00pm / United Kingdom (Rotherham) / Miscellaneous