Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my girlfriend launched her own business. I was recently laid off from my job, so I offered to be her very first employee. I now have the glamorous job of bleaching people's assholes. FML

#21514315
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20348) - you deserved it (6517)

On 01/12/2016 at 1:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I'm mad at my dad for forgetting it's my birthday. He's mad at me for not reminding him. FML

#21514262
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19251) - you deserved it (1749)

On 01/12/2016 at 9:44am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I finished reading a manga series on a website I go on all the time. As I read the last page I got a huge celebratory message from the website saying I was the first one to read every manga on their site. The website opened in 2011 and has over 30,000 manga. My God, I need a social life. FML

#21514123
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21476) - you deserved it (6174)

On 01/11/2016 at 9:47pm - misc - by Lesser spotted female gaming nerd (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up to my roommate's friend rustling in the attic without permission to be there. When I asked how he got in with all doors and windows locked, he simply said, "It's a secret." FML

#21514032
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18516) - you deserved it (1300)

On 01/11/2016 at 4:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

 Today, I realized how lonely I am, when I got a call from an elderly women who had dialed the wrong number. We ended up having a 20 minute conversation about her cat and how he "just won't use the darn litter pan." I was sad when she had to hang up. FML

#21513970
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22389) - you deserved it (2187)

On 01/11/2016 at 1:03pm - misc - by JoseIsAdork (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my roommate invited a couple of homeless gentlemen in to our house. After drinking all our beer, throwing up on our carpet, and repeatedly asking if we were planning on killing them, I asked them to leave. My roommate told them they're welcome back anytime. FML

#21513863
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22135) - you deserved it (1870)

On 01/11/2016 at 4:12am - misc - by heart of cold - United States

Today, I had a bad feeling about walking to work because of the weather. Instead, I drove. My car slid on the ice and I created a four-car pile up. All three of the other people involved have decided to sue me. I should've walked. FML

#21513822
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23391) - you deserved it (3637)

On 01/11/2016 at 1:49am - misc - by krfenton8 -

Today, I went out with my mom to a restaurant. We were sitting down to eat, and a waitress walks over to our table and asks, "How are you ladies doing tonight?" It really was a nice thing to ask, for my mom. As for me, being a man, not so much. FML

#21513803
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19477) - you deserved it (2116)

On 01/11/2016 at 12:28am - misc - by TheMike23 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I met my new upstairs neighbors. They have a four month old child and appear to be firm believers in the "let them cry it out" philosophy. The baby's room is right above mine. A few days of trying to sleep through this shit and I'll look like a Walking Dead extra. FML

#21513493
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20750) - you deserved it (1424)

On 01/10/2016 at 8:17am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my mom said if I dont get straight A's in my classes this year, she'll get the school to hold me back until I do. I believe her. FML

#21513478
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19943) - you deserved it (2323)

On 01/10/2016 at 5:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, the person I was driving behind put their car in reverse and backed straight into me. I was then yelled at and told, "I had my reversing lights on! Why didn't you move?!" FML

#21513365
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22385) - you deserved it (1621)

On 01/09/2016 at 10:27pm - misc - by Brayden - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a father. Too bad I can't tell my wife. FML

#21513340
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8996) - you deserved it (72828)

On 01/09/2016 at 9:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I waited patiently in the airport as my flight was repeatedly delayed. After 5 long hours I approached one of the attendees to discover that the plane had left 5 minutes ago. FML

#21513287
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22133) - you deserved it (3026)

On 01/09/2016 at 6:19pm - misc - by whenlifeisalemon - United States (California)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: