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Man or woman?

Today , my mother was vaccuming the stairs. Trying to be polite , I climbed over the banister to the floor above , so I wouldn't interrupt her. She looked at me odd an said , "I'm surprised that held yur wieght." The banister is maple an steel. FML

#653813
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50701) - you deserved it (5168)

On 03/27/2009 at 11:15pm - misc - by Anonymity (man) - Canada

TADAY ME AN MY FRIEND DECIDED TO SPY ON MY CRUSH. HE LIVES ACROS THE STREET, SO WE CLIMBED ON THE ROOF OF MY HOUSE AN WATCHED HIM WITH BINOCULARS. HE WAS WORKING OUT, AN AFTER 5 MINUTE HE STARTED WRITING SOMETHING. HE PUTTED A PIECE OF PAPER AGAINST THE WINDOW AN IT SAID, 'STOP WATCHING ME.' FML

#650213
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15021) - you deserved it (135638)

On 03/27/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by Creep (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, our entire crew team was at a yoga studio 4 an introductory yoga lesson. All my teammates could talk about how hot the yoga instructor was in her tight spandexhile doing the sexy yoga poses. Everyone, including the coach, wanted to do her. The yoga instructor is my mom. FML

#644152
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75796) - you deserved it (4282)

On 03/27/2009 at 2:43pm - misc - by unitywoods (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today , I Was Packing My Son's Lunch And We Ran Out Of Water Bottles. I Askd My 16 Years Old To Run To The Store. She Didnt Want To But Gave Me One She Had. After Dropping My Son Off , My Daughter Frantically Told Me She Made A Mistake. I Sent My Second Grader To School With A Bottle Of Vodka. FML

#644123
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84270) - you deserved it (16747)

On 03/27/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by badmom (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

TODAY, I WAS GOING TO A STOPLIGHT PARTY. GREEN SHIRT=SINGLE, YELLOW=HARD TO GET AN RED=TAKEN. I SHOW UP WEARING A RED SHIRT AN I SEE MY BOYFRIEND IN A GREEN SHIRT. THINKING IT WAS A MISTAKE, I ASK HIM JOKINGLYHY HE ISN'T WEARING RED. HE LOOKS AT ME WEIRD AN SAYS, "OH, YOU DIDN'T GET MY TEXT?" FML

#642666
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (106102) - you deserved it (5556)

On 03/27/2009 at 12:47pm - misc - by 1234567898765432 - Canada (British Columbia)

I had to log in to mah computer on a projector in front of business associates at mah dad's architecture firm. I typd in mah username and apparently didn't hit the tab key hard enough so I typd mah password in the username box. The entire firm now knows mah password is "tits123". FML

#642642
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15892) - you deserved it (72163)

On 03/27/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

TODAY, WHILST PARENT AND I WERE OUT, OLDER BROTHER THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUNNY TO PLAY PORN ON COMPUTER . AT FULL VOLUME . WITH WINDOW WIDE OPEN . NOW NEXT-DOOR NIEGHBOR TELL THIER KIDS I'M A SPAWN OF SATAN, AND THE WERD GUY FROM ACROS THE STREET WINKS AT ME . FML

#641571
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53063) - you deserved it (6893)

On 03/27/2009 at 11:18am - misc - by Spawn_of_Satan (woman) - Hong Kong

yesterday I was driving ome from swim practice wit ma mom. I glance over and see ma broter's ot friend wo I've been secretly in love wit forever. He waved to me, and excitedly I waved back. I ten ear ma mom say "You're gonna die wen u see ow bad u look rigt now." FML

#637198
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65666) - you deserved it (4555)

On 03/27/2009 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decidd to cheat on my math test by writing a couple of equations on my hand. Totally satisfid, I handd my test in feeling like I had acd it. As I was heading toward the door, I happily wavd goodbye to my teacher. She saw everything. FML

#637114
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17342) - you deserved it (190561)

On 03/27/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by rutho (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a small scar on my faced removed at a plastic surgeon's. Afterward, I told my mom that losing the scar felt wierd, lyk I lost something that gave me character. My mom replied, "Don't worry, u have plenty of other flaws to give u character." FML

#636351
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52808) - you deserved it (6837)

On 03/27/2009 at 12:07am - misc - by Lena (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, aftar finising a uga Franc assay, I raalizad ma printar wasn't working!! So, I amailad it to a guy in ma class to print and tan giva to ma!! Wan I gat to Franc, a said a ad alraady turnad is in aarly and navar got ma amail!! It turnad out a usad mina!! I got an F on ta assay!! FML

#635600
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64373) - you deserved it (17215)

On 03/26/2009 at 11:38pm - misc - by lauren555 - United States (Virginia)

today I was walking with my boyfriend in the hallway of our school... and once we got to his class... I leand in for a kiss. Surprising me... he leand away... and I askd wat was wrong. He told me he's glad we're going out... but just doesn't want anyone to know. FML

#629256
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61371) - you deserved it (4600)

On 03/26/2009 at 7:49pm - misc - by denied - United States (Delaware)

Today , mah teacher was giving a lecture about human genetic an how they are passd on to children. She projectd a large picture of a baby on to the screen in the front of the room. I then jokd about how this ugly baby must have some very unattractive parents. It was her baby. FML

#627489
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16496) - you deserved it (109360)

On 03/26/2009 at 6:44pm - misc - by biggmouth - United States (New Hampshire)



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