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Man or woman?

today my parent punished me and made me wash my mouth out with soap 4 cursing. I'm almost 19. I said the word ( hell ). mega FML

#703894
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (191572) - you deserved it (31321)

On 03/30/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by jdsksoapy (woman) - United States

Today, Mom Has Been Calling Me Every Ten Minutes, Asking Me Questions About Her New Computer. She Calld Me At Work, And I Rudely Answerd Her Question. She Calld Back, Talkd To Boss, Saying She Was A Customer That Calld In, And I Was Rude To Her. FML

#701960
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78848) - you deserved it (15118)

On 03/30/2009 at 2:08pm - misc - by Tiak (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today , I was going through airport security. As my bags were being scanned , I was told that I was selected fir extra searching. Right as the security guard was about to frisk me , he froze up an asked me , "You're a male , right?" I am , an I used to think that it was obvious. FML

#701827
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66367) - you deserved it (4400)

On 03/30/2009 at 1:44pm - misc - by androgynous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today , a mother wrote me a $130 check 4 babysitting her four kids 4 a few hours. Trying to be gracious , I said , ( Wow , thank you , this is very generous! ) She thought 4 a minute , then said , ( You're right. ) She took the check back , rippd it up , and wrote me a new one 4 $55. FML

#699603
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74667) - you deserved it (28318)

On 03/30/2009 at 9:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I Finally Passd A Math Exam. I Go Home Super Excitd To Tell My Mom, Yelling "Mom! Guess What!?!?!" She Turns To Me All Happy And Goes "You Finally Got A Boyfriend!?!?!?" FML

#698857
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61596) - you deserved it (6770)

On 03/30/2009 at 6:14am - misc - by wasntme (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I was working out at te gym doing squats. Tere was a girl tere tat I wantd to impress so I loadd up te bar wit a lot of weigt and began to do ma squat. As I was going down I fartd so loud tat I began to laug and fell backwards. Everyone in te room just stard at me.

#697920
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21184) - you deserved it (70972)

On 03/30/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Mark (man) - United States

Today I was at work at Panera. A blind woman came in ordered an said oter blind people were going to come in soon because tey were aving a meeting. Later a man comes in an ask if any oter blind people ad sowed up. I told im tere was just one in ere wearing a blue sirt. FML

#697530
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18140) - you deserved it (85305)

On 03/30/2009 at 2:18am - misc - by superstar (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I volunteerd at a nursing home!! I approachd a lonely, old manho had a type of nervous tick!! I went over to speak to him, and not even four sentences into our conversation he says, "I'd really like to make love to you." What I thought was a tick was actually him stroking himself!! FML

#697390
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64258) - you deserved it (4030)

On 03/30/2009 at 2:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

looool Today, I asked a boy I like to prom by writing all over his car!! After nervously sitting by the phone all day, I decided to go out to get lunch!! I found the word "No!" written all over my car!! FML

#696995
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35040) - you deserved it (60618)

On 03/30/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by lauren (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, two really hot guys pulld up in a car next to mine. They were waving at me an pointing down, I figurd they were being pigs so I flippd them off. Turns out they were trying to warn me of the flat tre I had. FML

#689967
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7776) - you deserved it (77621)

On 03/29/2009 at 9:14pm - misc - by flattire (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I davalopad tha disposabla camara picturas from my family's trip to Disnay World. I noticad that in tha picturas I took of tham in front of tha big castla at Magic Kingdom, my wifa and son wara standing a faw faat away from a manho was touching himsalf. big fat FML

#688806
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60089) - you deserved it (3696)

On 03/29/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, mah friand told tha cuta waitar it was mah brthday. Ha brought out a dassart with a candla and puttad a huga sombraro on mah haad. Evaryona at tha rastaurant startad singing ma happy brthday. I got ambarrassad and puttad mah haad down. My sombraro caught on fra. FML

#683803
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65858) - you deserved it (24334)

On 03/29/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by Hotsauce887 (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I Went To Walgreen's 4 A Tub Of Vaseline. The Old Guy At The Counter Looked At Me, Winked, And Said, "Not Having Too Much Luck With The Ladies, Eh?" He Was Right. FML

#681464
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66093) - you deserved it (12655)

On 03/29/2009 at 3:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)



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