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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was watching a movie with my new boyfriend. I got tired so I thought it would be cute to fall asleep on him. He woke me up and said "You got me wet" Thinking it was a joke, I said smoothly, "That's what she said" He replied "No really." I looked down, I'd drooled all over his shirt. FML

#4320217
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18295) - you deserved it (39272)

On 08/05/2009 at 10:23pm - misc - by drooler (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I borrowed my dad's laptop to type an essay. While I was saving it, I noticed some curious looking files and I opened them. They were rejection letters from all the colleges I had applied to. My dad had been forging them so he wouldn't have to pay for my tuition bills. FML

#4317825
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79191) - you deserved it (3261)

On 08/05/2009 at 8:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was puked on for the third time in three years at our annual choir concert. What makes it so significant? The fact that the same guy pukes on me every year from stage fright. We're arranged alphabetically, and he's always in the row RIGHT above me. FML

#4313444
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56187) - you deserved it (4494)

On 08/05/2009 at 5:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my brother deleted all traces of the novel I've been working on for three years from my laptop. The reason? When I was born I "stole all of Mum and Dad's attention." He's 24. FML

#4312285
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66556) - you deserved it (5540)

On 08/05/2009 at 4:30pm - misc - by frustrated - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, out of the goodness of my heart, I went to work to help out a co-worker even though my last day was last week. I parked in a garage a block away for 2 hours. I paid $20 to park, didn't get paid, am spending $400 to get my back window replaced, and I have to buy a new iPod. FML

#4306015
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45075) - you deserved it (8166)

On 08/05/2009 at 10:53am - misc - by towelwindow (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, a friend and I drove all the way from Texas to a small town in Colorado to spend an entire uninterrupted night together. Not only did he forget to bring condoms but everything was closed by the time we got into town. We ended up playing cards on the bed instead. FML

#4299529
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17543) - you deserved it (44301)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML

#4299524
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22048) - you deserved it (43841)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was eating dinner with my family. My parents didn't want me to hear what they were talking about so they decided they would spell out the words so I wouldn't understand. I didn't. FML

#4299271
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14646) - you deserved it (56963)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I discovered that sitting in the back of your car from 8-9 p.m. talking with a friend in a park area is suspicious enough behavior to have cops called on you, then for backup to arrive. FML

#4299160
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39764) - you deserved it (5018)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by suspiciouspeople (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my brother found 100 bucks in his coat pocket. He was so happy he bought 2 new games for his x-box. He was borrowing my coat. FML

#4299043
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49517) - you deserved it (8259)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was leaving the mall. I Instinctively hit the unlock button on my car keys from across the parking lot. Little did I know I was making it a whole lot easier for the guy breaking into my car. FML

#4297641
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44838) - you deserved it (12961)

On 08/05/2009 at 12:13am - misc - by Al (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I received a $250 ticket when I parked my car, that has the disabled placard, in a handicapped spot at a Wal-Mart. The officer said she watched me get out of the car and walk to store without appearing to be disabled. I'm 59 years old, have a steel rod in my spine and a prosthetic hip. FML

#4294865
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62314) - you deserved it (3188)

On 08/04/2009 at 10:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, it was my birthday. The only call I received was from my stalker, who sang happy birthday with a japanese accent and asked if he could be my "special present". FML

#4293059
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50980) - you deserved it (3416)

On 08/04/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by andi0804 (woman) - United States (New York)



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