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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was in a hurry to get to work, and in my car I had two drinks settled down in my cup holder. One was my coffee, and the other was an unfinished cup of coffee where I ash and toss my cigarettes. FML

#2590
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3188) - you deserved it (19421)

On 01/25/2009 at 9:38pm - misc - by smoker - United States (California)

Today, I am studying abroad in Mexico and someone asked me what it's like to be from Minnesota. I responded in Spanish, in front of thirty people, what I thought translated to, "If you get cold, you can just put on a jacket." Apparently, what I thought meant "jacket" actually meant "masturbate". FML

#2562
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12010) - you deserved it (3106)

On 01/25/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by Sally - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I downloaded the 'Dark was the Night' compilation made for charity. I have no soul. FML

#2527
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3639) - you deserved it (20048)

On 01/25/2009 at 12:52pm - misc - by Champs - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a ball rolled up to me, so I picked it up and threw it over the school wall. A little boy who was behind me asked for his ball back. It's Sunday and the school is closed. FML

#2505
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6791) - you deserved it (29128)

On 01/25/2009 at 7:36am - misc - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was getting hot, so I jumped, naked, into the pool. As soon as I got in, it started hailing. I got hit with blocks of ice in places no man should. FML

#2492
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12630) - you deserved it (13438)

On 01/25/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by hailedout - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I made a Craigslist ad looking for hot and horny women that wanted some. I only got one reply, from another guy asking me if this kind of thing actually works. FML

#2475
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3597) - you deserved it (31303)

On 01/24/2009 at 6:52pm - misc - by Farva - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was trying on clothes in a store that had just screens set up for changing. As I took off the first pair of pants had I tried on, my foot got hooked in the cuff and I fell out in my underwear in front of the whole store. FML

#2472
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15106) - you deserved it (2112)

On 01/24/2009 at 6:28pm - misc - by Teen - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I figured out that my baby-powder container can be closed by twisting the cap. I just got back from a long trip. My suitcase used to be black. FML

#2463
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4454) - you deserved it (16996)

On 01/24/2009 at 4:34pm - misc - by yacoob - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my dad walked in to the arena where I was watching a hockey game with my boyfriend and his friends. My dad was wearing a crazy grey mohawk wig/hat. Meanwhile, my boyfriend just finished telling me how embarassing it would be to be that guy's kid. FML

#2451
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17568) - you deserved it (1492)

On 01/24/2009 at 2:47pm - misc - by lizard - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking in the mall and passed one of the hair product booths (with the people who constanly harrass you as you walk by). In front of half of the mall the woman working there told me that she had several products that I could use to touch up my roots. I'm a natural red head. FML

#2424
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14463) - you deserved it (1920)

On 01/24/2009 at 10:24am - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, someone told me they liked my personality when i'm drunk. I asked, "what about when I'm sober?". "No, only when you're drinking." FML

#2422
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14483) - you deserved it (2749)

On 01/24/2009 at 9:53am - misc - by the-yao - United States (California)

Today, I finally finished my 500 page manuscript and so went out to buy some paper to print it off. I get back home and find out my dad has infected my computer with a virus and the only way to save it was to wipe the hard drive, which he did. That script took me a year and I have no backup. FML

#2406
5 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33233) - you deserved it (22000)

On 01/24/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by David3000 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I wake up only to find that my roommates cooked all my food. Now I'm starving and the place smells like delicious bacon. FML

#2379
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18845) - you deserved it (1760)

On 01/23/2009 at 7:22pm - misc - by raybandy - United States (Texas)



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