Today, at the age of 22 I started eating my boogers. FML

by Snotmyfault / 01/11/2009 at 9:33am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, we were out smoking a bit of spliff just walking around. We saw a place to sit down in this little car park we were walking past. The cops came over and busted us. Turns out we were in the main car park for the cop shop. FML

by karl / 01/10/2009 at 1:50am / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I made some popcorn. Returning to the kitchen a couple of minutes later, I realized I was supposed to put a cover on the saucepan. FML

by csully / 01/10/2009 at 1:34am / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to find that the large container of leftover beef stroganoff that I put down the garbage disposal last night had backed up into my bathtub this morning. FML

by Noname / 01/09/2009 at 6:21am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the UK for the first time, and had the most amazing time with my girlfriend, catching it all on tape. When I got back to South America, I realized someone had stolen my camera. FML

by Wex / 01/09/2009 at 4:02am / Chile (Antofagasta) / Miscellaneous

Today, like every month, the beautician spent 10 minutes removing the hairs from my stomach. I'm a girl. FML

by Noname / 01/09/2009 at 12:18am / Miscellaneous

Today, I enjoy reading this site and other people's suffering just to feel better about my own life. FML

by sampaloompy / 01/08/2009 at 3:32am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went out to lunch with two friends from high school. We saw a girl that we graduated with at the restaurant. The girl gave both of them hugs and introduced herself to me. FML

by bex / 01/07/2009 at 10:42am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a really nice red satin set of underwear, with a bra, a thong and a corset... From my grandfather. FML

by noname / 01/07/2009 at 6:43am / Miscellaneous

Today, I went into a shop, not really completely awake. To get to the upper floor, I took the escalator... in the wrong direction. After about 30 seconds (which seemed like hours) trying to climb up the wrong way, my brain started working and by that time I already had a few amused spectators watching me. FML

by maaaryy / 01/07/2009 at 12:53am / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife and I went to a wedding. At one in the morning, when the cheese was being served, we were starting to fall asleep at the table, so we went to our car to take a short nap. When we woke up it was 5am, and the party was over. FML

by takeiteasy / 01/06/2009 at 10:58pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I couldn't take home the free weights I'd planned on buying to start bodybuilding 'cos I couldn't lift the box, which was too heavy for me. FML

by Fred / 01/06/2009 at 3:28am / Miscellaneous

Today, I lent my brand new earrings to one of my friends. Everyone told her that they are pretty, and look really great on her. I've been wearing them for the last 3 weeks, and no one has ever mentioned them. FML

by sel2207 / 01/05/2009 at 10:27pm / Miscellaneous