Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I didn't wear my contacts. Determined to prove to my friends I didn't need them, I read all the signs in sight. I couldn't read a particular one, so I began to walk closer. Suddenly I fell on my face, bruising my cheekbone. The sign said: "Caution: Watch Your Step." FML

#1248987
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12070) - you deserved it (59376)

On 04/23/2009 at 3:36am - misc - by notexactly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friend and I wanted to get some alcohol (we're under 21). We went to a liquor store and asked a random guy to go in and buy us some vodka. After giving him $20, he said he had to go turn off his car, then he'd get us the drinks. He got in his car and drove off, with my $20. FML

#1248718
424 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19345) - you deserved it (236659)

On 04/23/2009 at 3:16am - misc - by danielle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I sang my signature tune at a karaoke bar - What A Wonderful World - and I thought I sounded my best yet. After my performance, I went outside to get some air. Then, I got assaulted in the parking lot and ended up going to the hospital. What a wonderful world indeed. FML

#1245192
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53389) - you deserved it (5058)

On 04/23/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by karaokestar (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was talking to my hot neighbor. We were in the driveway of her house, and I looked at her car and noticed a hideous dummy. It was fat and just ugly, but I didn't think much of it. I tried to make a joke and asked, "Where did you get that awful thing?" She said, "That's my daughter". FML

#1243795
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10141) - you deserved it (75289)

On 04/22/2009 at 11:11pm - misc - by brob56 (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I spotted one of my friends using the ATM outside our school's university center. I crept up behind him, grabbed his shoulders abruptly, and shouted in my best deep man-voice, "Give me all your money!" Turned out to be a poor, unsuspecting freshman. He gave me his money. FML

#1242967
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11727) - you deserved it (69043)

On 04/22/2009 at 10:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my grandma and I were watching the Ranger's playoff game. As Henrik Lundqvist received a standing ovation from the crowd after blocking 38 shots, she says to me, "Check out his equipment!" My 80-year old grandma just commented on Henrik Lundqvist's package. FML

#1241991
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37000) - you deserved it (4514)

On 04/22/2009 at 9:46pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, was my birthday. I purposely didn't log onto facebook all day so that I could read all my birthday wishes at once. When I logged on at the end of the day I had one notification. My "friend" had commented on a picture of me, saying I looked like jabba the hut. FML

#1225689
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70519) - you deserved it (8798)

On 04/22/2009 at 3:42pm - misc - by happybirthday (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was the best man at a wedding and I was flirting with a cute bridesmaid. Then this old guy decides to give the newlyweds a toast. He made a crappy joke and barely anybody laughed. So I say to the girl, "Wow that sucked, who the hell does he think he is?" The girl replies, "That's my dad". FML

#1223520
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10607) - you deserved it (67020)

On 04/22/2009 at 2:24pm - misc - by derranged - China (Tianjin)

Today, I was crocheting while watching television, and thinking to myself how proud I was that I taught myself to crochet. Then, an episode of Golden Girls came on, and I watched that while I crocheted. I'm 24. FML

#1221621
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26027) - you deserved it (37617)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend saying she needed more phone credit, so I bought her more and got another message saying "Great, now I have enough credit for this..." as she spelled out a three page message breaking up with me. Yes, I paid for her to break up with me via text. FML

#1219528
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74837) - you deserved it (7548)

On 04/22/2009 at 11:26am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mum and I were walking down a road where we met an old neighbour who recently got divorced. Her son who we hadn't seen for about 10 years was with her and he looked very handsome. I said, "oh wow ! your son has grown up so much !" The woman replied, "this is my boyfriend." FML

#1218205
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42502) - you deserved it (8265)

On 04/22/2009 at 10:09am - misc - by Anonymous - Hong Kong

Today, I was running the 100m sprint in a track meet. Me and another girl were tied for dead last. When we finished, she complained, "It's so embarrassing how slow I am today. I have shin splints. What happened to you?" I was actually running my hardest. FML

#1217695
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50931) - you deserved it (7100)

On 04/22/2009 at 9:20am - misc - by slowrunner (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: