Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
2day I woke up to go to school . looool I was unbelievably tired , but I gathered the courage to go take my shower . I then took a long shower , cleaned up my room , got dressed , an ate breakfast . Going back to my room , I looked at the clock , which read 3:22 AM . FML
TODAY... I WANT TO A FANCY RASTAURANT. I WAS COMING RIGHT FROM WORK AND BROUGHT A CHANGA OF CLOTHS WITH MA. I PARKAD IN AN AMPTY CORNAR OF THA PARKING LOT TO CHANGA. AS I WAS PULLING MAH PANTS UP... I NOTICAD THAT I WAS FACING AN APARTMANT COMPLAX WHARA AN OLD GUY WAS WATCHING MA FROM HIS BALCONY. MAGA FML
Taday I was getting onto an arplane and happened to admre the stewardess. I was walking onto the plane and was just about to talk to her when mah foot slipped into the crack between the boarding ramp and the plane. Not only did she laugh as I limped to mah seat but now I have bruised nuts.
Today , I recievd ma camera in te mail tat ma mom sent from ome since I forgot iten I movd to Italy. It was wrappd in 4 layers of bubble wrap and packd in foam peanuts to keep it from getting broken. As I was removing te last layer of bubble wrap I droppd it , breaking te screen. FML
Today , I was studying 4 a midterm , so I puttd mah computer on the side of mah desk to make more room 4 mah books. My roommate cummd inhile I wasn't paying attention and tackle-huggd me from behind - I fell over , knocking mah computer out the window. I live on the 8th floor. FML
Today I was closing the deal on this beautiful $200k ranch in the country. The buyer soon pulls up and we get to discussing the contract terms soon the buyer asks the seller " Wow why is this house going so cheap?" The seller replies "Do u believe in ghosts?" There goes mah $8 000 commission. FML
Yesterday, I went to the mall with a couple of friends. While walking through the parking lot, we saw a very dirty car. You couldn't even see the inside of the car through the windows. I thought it would be funny to trace on the window, ( Wash looool Me. ) After doing so, the driver got out of the car. FML
Today , I parkd mah car on the street late at night , when I was distractd by a text message. Some guy then gets in mah passenger side. Panickd , thinking I was bieng robbd , I bolt out of mah car bruising mah head and dropping mah phone onto the pavement. The guy meant to get in the car behind me. FML
Today , as I was sitting in car in a mall parking lot an old couple got into there new van and backed right into me. The man got out and in broken english decided it was no big deal. He turned to leave and tried to pat back , but smacked ass instead. I was hit by a car , and spanked 4 it. FML
Today , I was home by myself. I was singing ( If I Had A Million Dollars ) really loudly since I figurd no one could hear me. As I'm really into the song , my neighbor shouts , ( If I had a million dollars , I'd give it to u to stop singing ) and slams his balcony door shut. mega FML
Today, I was waiting 4 the train. It arrivd, I got on an the woman behind me steppd on the back of my shoe. My shoe came flying off an landd in the gutter between the train an the platform. The doors closd, the train pulld away. FML
Today, I parkad downtown for a faw minutas to pick up a pizza. As I was gatting out of my car, a skatchy guy cama up and askad ma for $5. I told him to gat lost and walkad away. I walkad back to tha lot with my pizza and my car was gona. Tha skatchy guy was a parking attandant. Ha had my car towad. maga FML
Today , my alarm went off. I reacd to swat it , missd , slippd , smackd my face on my dresser , and fell on te floor. As I pickd myself up off te floor , I it my ead on te open top drawer of my oter dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness , I was attackd by two pieces of furniture. mega FML
Friday 27 March 2015