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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, a bunch of friends and I went skinny dipping in a pond. The guys all grabbed the ladies' underpants and waved then around. My bloody pad was inside of one of them. FML

#21451285
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26420) - you deserved it (14023)

On 08/03/2015 at 11:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was at the gym playing basketball. A very attractive girl chose me to be on her team. We were playing well and hitting it off. I had decided to ask for her number after the game, until I smashed the ball in her face, resulting in her having a broken nose. FML

Today, my boyfriend hasn't showered in two weeks. He says he doesn't want his "manliness" to wash off. FML

#21450770
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22967) - you deserved it (2632)

On 08/02/2015 at 5:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, an hour into a family road trip, my mother informed me that she didn't put my suitcase in the car because it "didn't fit". FML

#21450453
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27928) - you deserved it (1896)

On 08/01/2015 at 1:17pm - misc - by Son of a Bitch - United States

Today, driving to work, I stop to let an old man cross the street. The driver behind me honks their horn, so I decide to drive slow to piss them off. A few turns later, I pull into the car park and notice the other driver following me. She works in the office next to mine. We met the other day. FML

#21450445
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21299) - you deserved it (6237)

On 08/01/2015 at 12:56pm - misc - by Hellasboy (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was on the phone with my senile grandma, when I told her I had to go because I had an appointment at the clinic. For some reason, she assumed I was talking about an abortion clinic, and started raging at me and calling me a murderer. FML

#21450246
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22706) - you deserved it (1598)

On 07/31/2015 at 11:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I witnessed my dad spreading his ass cheeks to show my mom the rashes his hemorrhoids are giving him. FML

#21450116
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22820) - you deserved it (1992)

On 07/31/2015 at 4:48pm - misc - by smf_ds - Portugal (Porto)

Today, I went to a frozen yogurt stand with my dad. One of the flavors was called "Juicy Cherry." I had to stand there and watch in horror as he told the woman running the stand all about how he'd like to taste her juicy cherry. FML

#21450062
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25026) - you deserved it (1804)

On 07/31/2015 at 2:28pm - misc - by ppema (man) - United States

Today, I wanted to buy a pack of cigarettes. My wife, who didn't want me to get them, decided it would be a good idea to jump on the hood of the car while I was driving off. She hit the car and fell off. My neighbor saw this. Neither her nor the cops believe me when I say I didn't hit her. FML

#21449719
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23539) - you deserved it (4098)

On 07/30/2015 at 10:06pm - misc - by Just wanted a cigarette (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the store with my father. As we were leaving, he grabbed a baguette, put it by his crotch, and took a picture with his phone. I'm starting to feel like the parent here. FML

#21449663
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21311) - you deserved it (1711)

On 07/30/2015 at 7:24pm - misc - by EmbarrassedChild - United States

Today, I was detained for trying to "illegally enter" my house, all because my parents forgot to tell me they were being evicted. FML

#21449546
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25450) - you deserved it (1438)

On 07/30/2015 at 1:38pm - misc - by College_Grad (woman) -

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while shopping with my sister, she asked me to wait for her while she quickly said hello to a friend. I sat on a bench for an hour before I realised she wasn't coming back. Turns out "hello" had turned into a date. FML

#21449387
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25449) - you deserved it (2172)

On 07/30/2015 at 2:56am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I woke up on the couch and realized I had fallen asleep while doing laundry. Ran to the laundry room, and found all my clothes gone. I really wish I hadn't been doing a load of all my pants. FML

#21449249
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21911) - you deserved it (2922)

On 07/29/2015 at 9:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



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