Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I went to a fast food restaurant. The guy behind me was a pretty hot latin guy. When I went to pay, my purse fell off the counter. My birth control pills, a condom, 3 super plus tampons and an extra pair of underwear I keep in there for emergencies fell out at his feet. FML

#5739
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20029) - you deserved it (9164)

On 02/02/2009 at 7:42pm - misc - by houdini - United States (California)

Today, my mom slept all day. But when she got out of bed for five minutes, she told me I was a worthless piece of shit. Then she went back to bed. FML

#5419
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35227) - you deserved it (1744)

On 02/02/2009 at 1:07pm - misc - by asdf - United States (Washington)

Today, I came home early from work and discovered my husband wearing a black babydoll nightdress, black stockings and high heels... He says it helps him to relax. FML

#5105
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28786) - you deserved it (2179)

On 02/02/2009 at 4:29am - misc - by a268 - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, I had to use my friend's toilet. His pretty cute sister was in the kitchen adjoining the bathroom, so I smiled and said hi on my way through. I then had the loudest and most vile-sounding shit of my life. FML

#4944
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21318) - you deserved it (4537)

On 02/01/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by achtung - United States (Connecticut)

Today, for the Superbowl halftime show, my mom was blasting the TV, dancing, and singing along to Bruce Springsteen in front of me and my boyfriend. FML

#4751
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12012) - you deserved it (5013)

On 02/01/2009 at 2:09pm - misc - by Embarrassed daughter.. - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was talking to my friend about my life and she stopped me mid-sentence and told me that my life makes her sad. FML

#4714
9 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21862) - you deserved it (2440)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:37pm - misc - by why... - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

#4708
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33497) - you deserved it (7242)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:29pm - misc - by frankrizzo - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm a shy guy normally, and when I talk to my friends I don't keep eye contact so I always look down even when I'm listening. My friend asked me why I always look at her boobs. FML

#4684
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10367) - you deserved it (19790)

On 02/01/2009 at 11:48am - misc - by foo - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friend caught me watching a movie on Oxygen instead of the Super Bowl. I'm a guy. FML

#4679
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6616) - you deserved it (25334)

On 02/01/2009 at 11:45am - misc - by Miko - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it was good fun getting this nice vampire make-up at my drama lesson. It would have been better if I hadn't forgotten my demake-up. Even better if I could have avoided those crazy glances in the bus home. FML

#4648
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5451) - you deserved it (16128)

On 02/01/2009 at 10:52am - misc - by anaph0re - Sent from mobile version

Today, my roommate has gone home for the weekend. She forgot to turn her alarm clock off. Her door is locked. FML

#4487
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25810) - you deserved it (1249)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:43am - misc - by leez - United States (Virginia)

Today, I'm 19, I'm at uni, I've never been kissed and the only person I have had a proper conversation with in the past week is my Mum. FML

#4477
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23213) - you deserved it (4500)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:07am - misc - by geewhiz - United Kingdom (York)

Today, a girl I've had a huge crush on for a long time told another friend of ours to get a life. I, in my infinite genius responded that her mom needed to get a life. She ran out of the room bawling. I got slapped in the face and informed that her mom had died not long ago. FML

#4336
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8782) - you deserved it (30538)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Huge A Hole - United States (Kansas)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: