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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I tried helping an old lady with her groceries. When I asked if she needed help she smiled. When I took one of her bags she yelled. I didn't know she was deaf. FML

#6027
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22086) - you deserved it (1633)

On 02/03/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by Cob (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, the cleaning lady left a note that said my room was too dirty to clean. FML

#6002
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6438) - you deserved it (27263)

On 02/03/2009 at 7:40am - misc - by fuckedalready (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I stuffed my buttcrack with toilet paper right before my job interview because I tend to sweat there a lot and was wearing a white skirt. I went to the bathroom afterward to take it out but it wasn't there anymore. It could have only gone up two places. FML

#5836
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13815) - you deserved it (10028)

On 02/02/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by wtf - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to a fast food restaurant. The guy behind me was a pretty hot latin guy. When I went to pay, my purse fell off the counter. My birth control pills, a condom, 3 super plus tampons and an extra pair of underwear I keep in there for emergencies fell out at his feet. FML

#5739
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20014) - you deserved it (9163)

On 02/02/2009 at 7:42pm - misc - by houdini - United States (California)

Today, my mom slept all day. But when she got out of bed for five minutes, she told me I was a worthless piece of shit. Then she went back to bed. FML

#5419
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35223) - you deserved it (1744)

On 02/02/2009 at 1:07pm - misc - by asdf - United States (Washington)

Today, I came home early from work and discovered my husband wearing a black babydoll nightdress, black stockings and high heels... He says it helps him to relax. FML

#5105
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28779) - you deserved it (2179)

On 02/02/2009 at 4:29am - misc - by a268 - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, I had to use my friend's toilet. His pretty cute sister was in the kitchen adjoining the bathroom, so I smiled and said hi on my way through. I then had the loudest and most vile-sounding shit of my life. FML

#4944
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21311) - you deserved it (4537)

On 02/01/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by achtung - United States (Connecticut)

Today, for the Superbowl halftime show, my mom was blasting the TV, dancing, and singing along to Bruce Springsteen in front of me and my boyfriend. FML

#4751
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12006) - you deserved it (5012)

On 02/01/2009 at 2:09pm - misc - by Embarrassed daughter.. - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was talking to my friend about my life and she stopped me mid-sentence and told me that my life makes her sad. FML

#4714
9 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21857) - you deserved it (2440)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:37pm - misc - by why... - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

#4708
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33492) - you deserved it (7242)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:29pm - misc - by frankrizzo - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm a shy guy normally, and when I talk to my friends I don't keep eye contact so I always look down even when I'm listening. My friend asked me why I always look at her boobs. FML

#4684
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9907) - you deserved it (19139)

On 02/01/2009 at 11:48am - misc - by foo - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friend caught me watching a movie on Oxygen instead of the Super Bowl. I'm a guy. FML

#4679
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6615) - you deserved it (25332)

On 02/01/2009 at 11:45am - misc - by Miko - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it was good fun getting this nice vampire make-up at my drama lesson. It would have been better if I hadn't forgotten my demake-up. Even better if I could have avoided those crazy glances in the bus home. FML

#4648
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5449) - you deserved it (16124)

On 02/01/2009 at 10:52am - misc - by anaph0re - Sent from mobile version



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