Today, a girl in my class turned around and said, "Wow, you've got your photo on a rubber! That's amazing!" The rubber was designed to look like a £10 note, and the picture was of the Queen of England. FML

by Elizabeth / 12/11/2008 at 12:13am / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I crunched my pen and crushed my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML

by Heyme / 12/09/2008 at 8:50am / Miscellaneous

Today, I wanted to join the bus drivers strike. I couldn't… the buses were on strike. FML

by noname / 12/08/2008 at 9:03pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I met someone with the same name as me for the first time ever. I'm 20 years old, he is 97. FML

by Heyhey / 12/08/2008 at 3:46am / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm heading towards my car clutching a bunch of flowers for my girlfriend, when along comes a sweet old lady who says: "it's not flowers she wants, it's some lovin'!". The elderly sure aren't what they used to be. FML

by DarkPhoenix / 12/04/2008 at 6:16am / Miscellaneous

Today, my philosophy teacher asked me about my parents. I replied that my mum was a cleaner and my dad was a bus driver. In an astonished voice, she said, "But, you're clever..." FML

by lamb-chop / 12/02/2008 at 1:32am / Miscellaneous

Today, I had an important interview. On the way there, I stopped in front of a car window to look at my reflection, checking I didn't have salad stuck between my teeth. Having pulled several faces, I realised that there were two girls inside the car, cracking up with laughter. FML

by Groom / 11/30/2008 at 5:51am / Miscellaneous

Today, while shopping for a pair of shoes, I saw a pair I really liked lying around, so I sat down to try them on. Then, a man came up to me and pointed out that they were actually his shoes. FML

by Gregory / 11/28/2008 at 5:28am / Miscellaneous

Today, during a lunch I said "It must be awful to realize that you've been cheated on!". One of the men present had just found out that he had been. I then try to correct my tactlessness by saying "The worst must be when your wife leaves you for another woman". Which was also the case. FML

by lovely-sweet / 11/27/2008 at 7:34am / Miscellaneous

Today, I put my hand up in class. I forgot that I hadn't shaved. FML

by ripo95 / 11/26/2008 at 1:18am / Miscellaneous

Today, as I often do, I had a shag in my old car. I am 25, my boyfriend is 28 and we are still living at our parents' house. FML

by niii / 11/25/2008 at 11:26pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my mum prepared my bag for football practice. In the changing room I found one of her thongs. FML

by rob / 11/23/2008 at 5:59am / Miscellaneous

Today, I swallowed the piercing that I had bought for my tongue yesterday. FML

by lectro / 11/23/2008 at 3:22am / Miscellaneous