Today, I received a packet of papers in the mail by the state suing me for child support. I am 22 and still a virgin. FML

by Distressed / 02/11/2009 at 10:51am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I cut myself on a band-aid box, while trying to get one out for another cut. FML

by Chicketi / 02/11/2009 at 9:45am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend was picking on me at school by constantly tapping on my shoulder. At recess I had enough. I felt the familiar tap on my shoulder, and I drove my elbow into what I thought was my friends stomach. It was my Principal. FML

by da man / 02/11/2009 at 6:38am / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Miscellaneous

Today, at lunch I ordered a coke. The waiter replied "diet coke?" and I corrected him saying, "No, regular coke." He shook his head and said again, "diet coke." FML

by J / 02/11/2009 at 2:14am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML

by tylerlove361 / 02/11/2009 at 12:30am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got on Facebook and realized the only two friend requests I've had in 2 months are both from my parents. FML

by Noname / 02/10/2009 at 8:22pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, someone in class was making a point about premarital intercourse - "90% of teen virgins aren't saving it for marriage, they just can't get any." Another classmate pointed me out specifically. FML

by herpderp / 02/10/2009 at 7:41pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML

by peacock_mina19 / 02/10/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister teased me about being a mistake baby. When I told my mom what my sister said, her response was "I still love you anyway". FML

by melissa / 02/10/2009 at 6:41pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I made a joke about having a wedding to my mom and she told me not to joke about something that will probably never happen. FML

by NoWedding / 02/10/2009 at 5:30pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to get my school picture taken, when the photographer looked at me, saying, "You look like you need a mirror." FML

by greattt / 02/10/2009 at 4:15pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss asked me to pick up an extra shift. I said I couldn't because I have a date. He told me I didn't need to lie and to just say no next time. FML

by Flavorite / 02/10/2009 at 2:35pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met a guy who said he thinks he's in love with my sister. As a joke, I told him that my sister cheats on everyone. I get home to find my sister crying, because some 'person' told her boyfriend that she's cheating on him. FML

by imwrong / 02/10/2009 at 6:59am / Philippines (Rizal) / Miscellaneous