Today, I got in a huge fight with my mom. So, I went to my room and locked myself in there and played loud music so I didn't have to hear her. She then decides to yell at me over facebook. Shortly after, I log out of Facebook. She then starts yelling at me on Yahoo. Damn technology. FML

by blarg / 01/29/2009 at 7:45pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, a guy sitting next to me in class asked me for a pen. I accidentally handed him a tampon instead. FML

by iFail / 01/29/2009 at 12:55pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents told me that they received a letter from a prison. Being curious they opened it up and read the entire thing. It was from this girl I randomly met. Now I have a prison stalker and my parents think I date felons. FML

by K Holed / 01/29/2009 at 12:04pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend and I were in a hallway talking while a man kept walking by and turning around. I then asked him "WHAT are you LOOKING for!". It was a blind man. FML

by wsumt / 01/28/2009 at 8:04pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend sent me the link to this website with a message that said, "You'll feel at home." FML

by AKN / 01/28/2009 at 7:33pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. I pulled a muscle taking my sweater off in the locker room. FML

by j4y / 01/28/2009 at 7:30pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to make a toaster scramble. I thought it was bad enough when the pastry fell through the grate in the toaster over. Then it burst into flames. After 5 minutes of fanning the smoke away from the smoke detector, it still went off. Now my entire dorm building is outside in a snowstorm. FML

by im_a_mocker / 01/28/2009 at 6:35pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my roomate took the toilet paper out of my bathroom. I went into his room to look for it, only to find a large wad of it balled up near his laptop and mouse. FML

by flying solo / 01/28/2009 at 5:35pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I drank a good amount of vodka and cut my own hair. FML

by 315 / 01/28/2009 at 5:20pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandmother who has Alzheimer's and can't usually remember my name, had a sudden moment of clarity and asked me why I'm still not married yet. FML

by calikola / 01/28/2009 at 12:25pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, on my 18th birthday, my mom told me the man I thought was my father for 18 years was actually not my father, and my real father was in prison for murder. FML

by kiddo / 01/28/2009 at 10:42am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I posted on a forum asking if I could be a moderator. Instead, I got banned. FML

by hypebeast / 01/28/2009 at 10:00am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I broke, shoveled, and salted the ice covering my entire driveway. The size is roughly 8 cars' worth, and took me two hours of back-breaking effot to clear. I completely forgot that it was supposed to rain later today. FML

by bedrockmike / 01/28/2009 at 9:15am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous