Today, I walked out of the bathroom when two guys were checking me out and said "nice tail" I smiled and strutted to my next class. When I was about to sit down in my desk, the girl behind me said "did you know you have toilet paper hanging out of your pants?" FML

by Christen / 02/19/2009 at 4:11pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was marked absent from my math class because nobody in my class noticed I was there. FML

by Invisible / 02/19/2009 at 10:48am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I visited my brother in jail for the first time. I didn't know what to say so I blurted out : "Are you having fun ?" FML

by cynicalcindy / 02/19/2009 at 4:06am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my parents I really missed them and wanted to come home for the weekend, I haven't seen them in months. They told me that was a bad idea and they couldnt fit me into their schedule. I asked what their plans were. They said they didn't have any yet. FML

by sucks2suck / 02/19/2009 at 12:28am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I let my friend cut my hair and after a few minutes, she looked at what she had done and then she ran out of the room, laughing. FML

by Rye / 02/18/2009 at 10:51pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my father came back from a business trip in Canada. He handed me an "I Love Canada" pen. He brought back an xbox 360 for my younger brother. FML

by lalalee / 02/18/2009 at 5:59pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was home alone tanning in my backyard which is fairly secluded. I took my top off and laid there for awhile before I looked over and saw the UPS guy standing at my gate with a package because nobody answered the door. I looked horrified and he said not to worry, he'd seen better. FML

by mediocreboobs / 02/18/2009 at 5:31pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, when I visited my grandmother at her nursing home, I was looking at pictures she had of all the grandkids. All were normal graduation pictures etc. but mine was a cutout where she made me skinnier. FML

by Noname / 02/18/2009 at 4:55pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my mom changing. She was trying on a thong my boyfriend bought me for Valentine's Day. It looks better on her. FML

by wnrz / 02/18/2009 at 3:26pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was secretly listening to a voicemail from my mom in maths class when I accidentally hit the speaker phone button. My whole math class now knows I have a gyno appointment at 9:45 on March 11. FML

by Noname / 02/18/2009 at 10:43am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother told me that my father once told her that he was glad she wasn't a red head. He wouldn't have married her if she was because he hates red heads. I am his red-headed daughter. FML

by Nikkalicious16 / 02/18/2009 at 10:26am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my friend had a Coke can on his desk in class. It was empty but I was thirsty so I picked it up thinking I could try to get that little bit of Coke always left at the bottom. When I took a sip I found out he had been picking his fingernails and putting them in the can. FML

by Thatkid / 02/18/2009 at 9:29am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to the sound of scissors. My mom was cutting my hair while I was asleep. FML

by w_t_f / 02/18/2009 at 4:16am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous