Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, after watching the news, I realized the only person who has ever wished that I had a good day, or wished that I had anything pleasant for that matter, is Charlie Gibson on World News Tonight. FML

#5832745
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22883) - you deserved it (3363)

On 10/14/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by newscomes (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a party where I met some nice girls. One of them was really sweet and we were having a great time in my friend's backyard. As I was on the swing, I was gonna give her my number, but instead, I gave her a harsh kick to the face. FML

#5831331
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11655) - you deserved it (25808)

On 10/14/2009 at 5:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, a woman yelled at me to stop following her around the store. We were in IKEA. The only way to get through the store is to follow the arrows through a one-way path. Apparently, no one informed her of this. FML

#5829001
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32899) - you deserved it (2303)

On 10/14/2009 at 2:19pm - misc - by creepystalkerguy (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95475) - you deserved it (16143)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I noticed that my clothes had shrunk. My mother seemed to be having trouble with the new washer and dryer so I tried to show her exactly how they work. After my explanation she said "I know how they work. I shrank your clothes to give you some incentive to lose all that belly you got." FML

#5827048
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29898) - you deserved it (7376)

On 10/14/2009 at 10:36am - misc - by thelandofoz - United States (Florida)

Today, I was participating in an exercise in my psychology class to describe this horrible looking person I had never seen before and I described the person as a "rebellious, drug dealing, lowlife". The person in that picture turned out to be my teacher. FML

#5826781
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23682) - you deserved it (9253)

On 10/14/2009 at 9:39am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, was my mom's birthday. I recently got my first job, thanks to her, and could finally afford to buy her something nice. I spent my first paycheck ever on buying her a very nice bracelet. She said it was nice, then asked if I would mind if she exchanged it for one she actually liked. FML

#5826147
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29086) - you deserved it (4200)

On 10/14/2009 at 6:39am - misc - by mybmw (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was vigorously putting primer on my canvas for a beginning painting class. I accidentally sprayed specks of primer on the very dark painting to the right of mine. The painter is in an advanced class. She's been working on this one all semester. There's no one to her right. FML

#5825790
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8906) - you deserved it (33396)

On 10/14/2009 at 5:31am - misc - by fmypaint (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at home and my boyfriend called me and said that I'd left my G-string at his house. I only have one G-string and I was wearing it. FML

#5825697
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32909) - you deserved it (2609)

On 10/14/2009 at 5:20am - misc - by flipraff101 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was yelled at and humiliated by my otherwise awesome brother-in-law for my supposed lack of effort in the planning of a baby shower for my very pregnant sister. The kicker? Her huge, break-my-bank semi-surprise baby shower has been in the works for a month and is happening this weekend. FML

#5825370
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26624) - you deserved it (2589)

On 10/14/2009 at 4:09am - misc - by goodsister (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I passed my kidney stone. After thirteen hours of pain free joy, another one appeared. FML

#5824297
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33729) - you deserved it (2264)

On 10/14/2009 at 12:37am - misc - by kidneystoner - United States (Texas)

Today, I was so bored, I sewed my name into my underwear. FML

#5822673
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25029) - you deserved it (13345)

On 10/13/2009 at 11:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, we had a fire drill in my dorm, and I live on the 7th floor of my building. They shut the elevators down and I had to walk down 14 flights of steps. I shattered my kneecap last week. They turned the alarm off when I got to the first floor. FML

#5821457
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32740) - you deserved it (2046)

On 10/13/2009 at 10:31pm - misc - by stepknee (man) - United States (Ohio)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: