Today, I noticed my parents replaced my senior picture that hung on our livingroom wall with a painted one. Of our German Sheperd. FML

by trgtyo / 05/18/2009 at 7:20pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, on the way to work, I pulled over at a postbox to post a letter. I walked up to the box with the letter in one hand, car key in the other. Guess which one I posted. FML

by Posty / 05/18/2009 at 2:38pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML

by poop / 05/18/2009 at 1:25pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went onto my band's MySpace just to check if we had any new comments or anything like that and I noticed that I was listed as a past member. Nobody ever told me I was replaced. FML

by BassGuy / 05/18/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was planning on meeting my friend at the mall. She came late, and I was in the dressing room trying on a few things. When I came out to meet her, she looked at me oddly and said, "You shouldn't buy that, it looks terrible on you." Those were the clothes I came in. FML

by Rachel / 05/18/2009 at 11:23am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML

by Anonymous / 05/18/2009 at 2:45am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went bowling. The guy at the lane next to us was bowling by himself and had a few of his own bowling balls, and he had one that looked like a yin-yang and it looked very cool spinning down the lane into the pins. Not really thinking, I casually said to him "Hey, I like your balls." FML

by nothing / 05/18/2009 at 1:12am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I celebrated my birthday with my family. As part of my presents, my parents gave me prepaid debit card. When I got home, I looked at it again and realized it's the debit card you get from selling back books to our university bookstore. I bought my own books this year. They gave me my own refund. FML

by Anonymous / 05/18/2009 at 12:48am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was waitressing, I bent down to pick up a menu and accidentally farted, really loud, at my table. FML

by oops / 05/18/2009 at 12:17am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on my afternoon stroll to my local park. As I reached the park a little boy was peeing in the bushes nearby. His mother called. As I walked by, he turned, still peeing, right to me. He ended up peeing on the front of my pants and on my shoes. My house is 2 miles away from the park. FML

by gameguy3424 / 05/17/2009 at 11:37pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking home from piano lessons when I see my dad on a bike so I shout after him. He turns his head around and then runs into a tree. It wasn't my dad. FML

by Richocet / 05/17/2009 at 8:35pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML

by karmasabitch / 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, for my birthday, I got a Big Mac. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2009 at 4:09pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous