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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I spent hours trying to get a piece of food out of my two front teeth. I didn't have anything I could use, until I went out to dinner and got a toothpick. I finally got the food out of teeth. The toothpick broke. Now the tip of the toothpick is stuck in my teeth. FML

#4563968
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39681) - you deserved it (8039)

On 08/16/2009 at 1:19am - misc - by stupidtoothpick2 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was calling my cable company to tell me how to fix my internet. I stayed on hold for almost half an hour, and then when someone finally picked up, my phone died. FML

#4562910
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38412) - you deserved it (5511)

On 08/16/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by stuff - United States (Illinois)

Today, I'm having my housewarming party and had prepared food, drink and games for all the 19 confirmed guests on Facebook. I waited till 11 but nobody showed up. I checked Facebook again and realized I had accidentally put tomorrow as the party date. I have to work the whole day tomorrow. FML

#4562871
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10977) - you deserved it (46703)

On 08/16/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by revalc (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was working at the theater as an Usher. A man comes up to me and gives me his ticket. At the same time, he takes a sip of water and suddenly felt the need to sneeze. The water came out from his nose and landed all over my face. I was covered with his mucus and had to wish him a good movie. FML

#4562755
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37552) - you deserved it (2263)

On 08/16/2009 at 12:31am - misc - by Tiff676 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, at a family gathering, my aunt asked me when I was planning to have children. I'm only 16, I laughed and said not for a while, definitely not until I get married. My family shook their heads, and ignored me for the rest of the day. Apparently, teenage pregnancy is valued in my family. FML

#4555505
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61381) - you deserved it (3012)

On 08/15/2009 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, being a big believer in karma, I found it fitting that a girl that was always a bitch to me in high school is now fat and ugly. After sending one of her recent pictures with a mean caption to a few of my friends, I tripped and sprained my wrist falling up the stairs. Karma. FML

#4550264
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13886) - you deserved it (52409)

On 08/15/2009 at 2:51pm - misc - by whatgoesaround (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, while showering I slipped and fell, taking down the shower curtain and smashing my head against the floor, resulting in a concussion. My family came running because of the noise and I lay naked, bleeding and concussed for few minutes before they could stop laughing enough to get me help. FML

#4548386
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44181) - you deserved it (2916)

On 08/15/2009 at 12:58pm - misc - by iltdtsm - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I invited everyone to a gig I'm playing at a bar. They closed it down just for me when I told them how many people were attending, and I spent all day setting it up. Turns out nobody showed up besides my mom, my dad, and 2 of my cousins. I still had to play 7 songs in front of them. FML

#4546975
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43221) - you deserved it (6214)

On 08/15/2009 at 11:02am - misc - by playinmyguitar (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went to the movies alone after the boy I was seeing told me he was busy studying for exams. I found him making out with another girl whilst in the queue. When I confronted him by text he denied that it was him. I saw him check the text and reply. FML

#4545091
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46991) - you deserved it (4320)

On 08/15/2009 at 6:22am - misc - by pink_cupcakes - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins. FML

#4539697
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (125824) - you deserved it (6539)

On 08/15/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by jellybean_94 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my grandma went to get birthday gifts for my twin sister and me. She returned with 2 shirts that read "I see you've met the twins" in big letters across the chest. She gave them to us and said, "Isn't this cute? 'cause you're twins!" I then had to explain to her what the shirt was actually referring to. FML

#4530948
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47514) - you deserved it (3809)

On 08/14/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by twingirl (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I made the "Good luck, We'll miss you!" sign for my own going away party. FML

#4529563
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48114) - you deserved it (5133)

On 08/14/2009 at 4:46pm - misc - by loverpants (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I finally went to Home Depot to buy a chainsaw to cut down the tree leaning dangerously over my garage. When I got home, I found the tree had fallen and taken out the roof while I was shopping. FML

#4525177
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41772) - you deserved it (7453)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:54pm - misc - by ragsy (man) - United States (California)



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