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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I stood for half an hour in the rain waiting for my bus. As I started to go inside, my bus turned around the corner and splashed water all over me. The bus driver wouldn't let me on the bus because I was soaking wet and I would "mess up the seats". FML

#4949959
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45074) - you deserved it (2456)

On 08/31/2009 at 9:05am - misc - by soaked (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I received official notification that my license was being suspended for multiple DUIs. Apparently, my brother is a drunk and has been using my ID. FML

#4944535
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43521) - you deserved it (2653)

On 08/31/2009 at 12:30am - misc - by Notabum (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was strolling past an old women when from behind she called "can you help me get the rest of the groceries out of the car?" I approached the car, and helped her un-load bags. She began hitting me, screaming "SOMEONE IS STEALING MY THINGS". She was actually asking her son in the car. FML

#4942849
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41471) - you deserved it (6127)

On 08/30/2009 at 11:32pm - misc - by LGFLIPSTER (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to meet with my landlord to organise when he was coming to look at my flat and decide whether I get my deposit back. In the time it took to see him, my friend drank a bottle of vodka and vomited all over my room and knocked the window through. My landlord is coming in the morning. FML

#4941541
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30496) - you deserved it (4836)

On 08/30/2009 at 10:51pm - misc - by Robbins (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was at my favorite Mexican restaurant when I realized my really cute waiter, along with his buddies kept looking at me and smiling. Trying to be cool, I took a bite of my burrito, choked, and spilled ground beef down my new shirt and in my bra. They laughed the whole time. FML

#4929895
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12894) - you deserved it (34527)

On 08/30/2009 at 2:09pm - misc - by pootythe5th (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a stressful day at work and decided to go in the jacuzzi. I hadn't used it for a year, so it was a little dirty. After I cleaned it, filled it up, and jumped in, I pressed the jets. Immediately, thousands of dead moths shot out at full speed towards me. FML

#4927406
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53672) - you deserved it (14132)

On 08/30/2009 at 11:23am - misc - by mel (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was brushing my teeth in my bathroom. As I looked in the mirror I spotted a zit on my forehead. Keeping my toothbrush in my mouth, I quickly lean in towards the mirror to pop the pimple meanwhile lodging my toothbrush down my throat. I temporarily can't talk. FML

#4927386
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14917) - you deserved it (40973)

On 08/30/2009 at 11:22am - misc - by Mirroronthewall (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to buy another pair of 'fat jeans', because my old 'fat jeans' became my new 'skinny jeans'. FML

#4926734
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24316) - you deserved it (55962)

On 08/30/2009 at 10:15am - misc - by FML (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my friend and I went to a bar for drinks. I noticed this cute girl and went over to say "Hi." I had a great conversation with her and I asked for her number before she left. She passed it to me on a piece of paper with instructions specifying for my friend to call her and not me. FML

#4926157
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38210) - you deserved it (3048)

On 08/30/2009 at 8:58am - misc - by hihipanda (man) - Singapore

Today, I finished moving out of my apartment and decided to clean the fridge before I left. I pulled out a drawer that I never used and was shocked to find a moldy, rotten, decayed watermelon. I remembered that I had bought a watermelon the first week I moved into the apartment. Four years ago. FML

#4922753
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8843) - you deserved it (58856)

On 08/30/2009 at 2:29am - misc - by rydawg79 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my best friend informed me that I could not be her maid of honour because I "wasn't as pretty as the other bridesmaids" and she wanted her wedding photos to have "consistency". FML

#4914313
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51145) - you deserved it (3414)

On 08/29/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by deadmedia (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I came back from a two week vacation. As I walked in the door, my boyfriend greeted me with a "Hey, honey! Could you clean the crockpot?" It still had the chicken in it from my going away dinner. FML

Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML

#4912143
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13661) - you deserved it (40820)

On 08/29/2009 at 6:58pm - misc - by deven (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



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