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Today, while at work I passed out due to my blood sugar not being normal. Despite the fact that it took 10 minutes to wake me, no one thought I was in any sort of danger. After the episode, I then got fired for "sleeping on the job." FML

#5176412
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40331) - you deserved it (2515)

On 09/10/2009 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anon - United States (Indiana)

Today, while at my parent's house I decided to take a shower. I had to use my sister's bathroom and once out, grabbed a comb from her cupboard to brush my hair. I then noticed the clumps of hair on my shoulders. It's a razor comb on one side, regular on the other. I used the wrong side. FML

#5174930
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30909) - you deserved it (16802)

On 09/10/2009 at 8:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was having a really bad day and told my friend at lunch about how stressed I was and he gave me his brownie to cheer me up. After school, he texted me "Did the brownies kick in?" Yes, they did, right in the middle of my English presentation. They were "funny" brownies. FML

#5171509
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45934) - you deserved it (6989)

On 09/10/2009 at 5:34pm - misc - by englishclasshigh (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was driving my new car home when I came around a sharp turn to see a groundhog in the road. I kindly stopped and allowed it to cross when all of the sudden a car slammed into the back of mine. Then, another car went flying around us. That car hit and killed the groundhog. FML

#5168963
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40845) - you deserved it (11985)

On 09/10/2009 at 2:46pm - misc - by hatecolin (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was driving in the left lane and was suddenly hit by a woman who was in the right lane. I ran off the road, taking out a fence and totaling my car. When the cops asked the woman what happened she responded, "My tom-tom told me to turn left." FML

#5167647
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51504) - you deserved it (2364)

On 09/10/2009 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I left on my honeymoon with my wife who is terrified of flying. The pilot announces incoming storms in the flight path, and the man next to me starts saying it's "probably fate" and "we all have to go sometime" and my wife goes into a full panic attack. We haven't even left the ground yet. FML

#5167326
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37717) - you deserved it (2698)

On 09/10/2009 at 11:58am - misc - by siggit - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was on a 12 hour trans-Atlantic flight overseas. I asked the flight attendant where this rancid smell was coming from. The guy sitting next to me started laughing, saying, "Sorry, something I ate is not agreeing with me." This was hour 1 of the flight. FML

#5165641
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35330) - you deserved it (1889)

On 09/10/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by whatsmccraken (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-wan)

Today, I woke up at my crazy ex-girlfriend's house, naked and disoriented. You know, the kind of crazy like we-didn't-break-up-it-was-just-a-fight-now-we-can-get-married crazy. She says everything's fine now and she's so glad we've "started our family." FML

#5165059
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46121) - you deserved it (15187)

On 09/10/2009 at 6:55am - misc - by drugged_on_arrival (man) - Virgin Islands British

Today, my co-worker came back from Thailand with big new breasts. She told me to go ahead and touch them because they have a funny texture for the first few months. When our GM entered the room, I had both hands down my co-worker's shirt, agreeing that they were unnaturally firm. FML

#5163835
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13889) - you deserved it (36343)

On 09/10/2009 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my sister surprised me by cleaning my room and doing my laundry. She found my journal, condoms and vibrator and decided to share her findings with my family. Oh yes... she also shrunk half my wardrobe. FML

#5163581
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36329) - you deserved it (4466)

On 09/10/2009 at 2:35am - misc - by tawnaciousd - United States (Colorado)

Today, after failing my Ls twice in the previous weeks, I finally passed. As I got home, I went for a drive with my dad. I smashed my mums car into an old ladys fence and ended up in her backyard. FML

#5163445
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6816) - you deserved it (33107)

On 09/10/2009 at 2:19am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. At least, I thought I did, until I woke up to my pants, sheets, and boyfriend all soaking wet. FML

#5162946
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37416) - you deserved it (7408)

On 09/10/2009 at 1:32am - misc - by Embarassed (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while driving on the tollway my car overheated and died a few yards from the toll booth. I then had to wait, crying, in my smoking car for a patrol guy while cars moved around me. He had to push me through the toll and the lady in the booth said she felt sorry for me but still took my $3. FML

#5157778
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31451) - you deserved it (4701)

On 09/09/2009 at 9:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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